The LONG Review of the Weekend - Part 1

I am back from Boston. I am sick. I am not happy about it.

I left NYC on Friday afternoon. On my way out of the building my irrational fear of revolving doors proved merited when I got stuck (and nearly crushed) in one. Scary. It's another story for another time, but be warned. It can happen. It's totally acceptable for you to be afraid. Be very very afraid.

On my way back to Boston, I was filled with this weird feeling. Almost the feeling you have when you're going home for Christmas. Excited. Warm and fuzzy. I hadn't predicted this. Maybe it was just fall playing tricks on me.

When I got to South Station I was waiting for my food when I was approached by a very drunk man who slurred "Whasssss wrong with people?" "Excuse me?" "Whassssss wrong. With. PEOPLE." I said "People suck, man." He said something or other about wanting to use my cell phone and I didn't let him. When I looked at him, I realized his face was bleeding profusely. He stank of alcohol. He was wearing a Red Sox sweatshirt. He was cross with me for not allowing him to use my phone, so in retaliation he stole the tip jars from the grille. The manager of the place jumped over the counter to get the tip jar back from the man who was now harrassing the people at McDonald's. When the manager came back, we were all rolling our eyes because it was quite funny. I said "Man, I just moved a month and a half ago to NYC, I just got back, and this is the first person I talk to!" The man explained that there was a lot of this sort of thing going on since the Sox won - drunken bizarreness, basically. When I got my food, the manager said "Welcome home, sweetie!"

My friend RP picked me up from the Davis Square T station after which I quickly transformed into Estelle, the crazy old widow who bowls. We went to my friend G's house in Waltham for a party. It was surreal to see everyone and even more surreal to see everyone in costume. My favorite was BKNY as Oates (of Hall and Oates). We had way too much fun doing a photo shoot and making fun of G's dresser, on which he had a doylie (is that how you spell it? I've never had to write it before, because when would you ever have occasion to make reference to a doylie?). It was almost as though I hadn't moved. I realized that I really miss a few people, but overall it was fairly normal.

It was normal up until the point when I tried to leave and realized my glasses had fallen out of my camera bag. I couldn't see (obviously) and started living my nightmare in which my glasses are missing and I am freaking out and nobody seems to care. Seriously, folks, people were not in a crisis about this but this was a crisis! The glasses were not in the bag, nor were they anywhere around the bag. And the bag hadn't been moved, so where could they be? I was fairly certain nobody had stolen the glasses, because who would steal glasses?, but I was starting to panic because there was no reasonable location for the glasses since they weren't where they were supposed to be nor were they near where they were supposed to be. Nobody was helping, which I thought was mean because I couldn't see. I finally convinced JA that this was a crisis, and she used her perfect vision to help me find them. She found them across the room under a couch, and they were totally deformed. Completely deformed. Couldn't even put them on my face.

Panic. People were all "Hey, man, what's the big deal? Just have em fixed."

No. No no no!!! Do people not understand what its like to be blind? Yes, I could have them fixed, presumably the following day, but still! What if the only optician's I knew in Boston wasn't open? There was no way I was getting them fixed before the parade, so that sucked. It also meant great headaches and confusion. And if I couldn't get them fixed at all, that meant going back to NY early, but how would I even get home without being able to read signs? Panic panic panic.

I was so flustered that I left my new coat at the party. I remembered in time, and was like "Shit! My coat!" and everyone was like "Why don't you just go back and get it?" and I'm like "Because I can't see a damn thing!" I begged someone to go back and get it, because my head was throbbing and I was trying not to cry about missing the parade.

In the car on the way home with normal lighting and increasing sobriety, I decided to just fix them myself and take the risk, because the parade was worth it. And I sort of fixed them. Well, I can wear them. They're a little crooked which leads to little headaches, but whatever. I will find a place in NY soon enough and have them truly fixed.

Got back to Good Old Hall Street at around 2 or so and basically felt like I hadn't moved. I hung out with A and B for hours in the kitchen, just like the old days, where we caught up and entertained each other with various stories of strangers on the street and the old stand-by, SuperFly. Obviously I had an entirely new arsenal of SuperFly stories that had my former roommates in stitches. I really do miss them.

Got about three hours sleep (Good Old Hall Street and the lack of heat!) and got up for the parade.

Don't Expect There to Be Scientists In Your Entourage

Genre: Romp Stompin Broadway Number in Honor of NYC
Date: early October-ish



Description:

A song about scientists. I know some fabulous normal wonderful darling charistmatic scientists, such as LBF, R, M, and everyone's favorite physicist in CA. This song is not about them.

Lyrics:

Scientists are good at calculations and
Scientists are good at consensus sequences and tumor cells
But not so much when it comes to social skills

You can talk about concentrations and
the ever-interesting lengths of incubations and protocols
Or you can tell them how cute their kids look in the JC Penny professional photos

You are screwed if you have a personality
Don't expect to flesh out your posse with selections from your science-based company

They'll look at you like you have four heads
If you mention something with even the slightest depth

Take Brad, Joe, Steve or whoever
Who works in Cell and Molecular
I asked him about his day, he literally ran the other way
Could I really be so scary to all these folks in New York City?
I realize I'm a freak because I can't talk about my kid or dog or husband
But at least I have a little substance

Maybe I'm too much of a people person
When you try to get to know a scientist it makes them nervous
They won't tell their story
They'll look at you funny and give one word answers
God forbid they should say something witty

Maybe in four months I'll feel differently
Maybe the scientists will warm up to me and we'll discuss MTV
But I'm nearly certain that they still won't think that Teen Girl Squad is the funniest thing
And they'll just keep giggling
FOR NO GOOD REASON

Chorus

Scientists can be quirky and adorable depending on where you are

Roots, Not Baseball

Last night there were hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of blissed out delirious Red Sox fans skipping around like idiots and screaming at the tops of their lungs through about four square blocks near the Riviera.

I joined up with the mob after skipping from the bar I'd watched the game at (there were at least 10 bars overloaded with Red Sox fans in these four square blocks) and after being stopped by at least ten people who gave me hugs and a few people who said "If you love Boston so fucking much, why don't you just fucking go back?"

The mob oscillated between ecstasy and shock. It wasn't as crazy as it was last week because people couldn't process it. We know the response to "We beat the Yankees!" but were we prepared for "We won the World Series!"?

In the middle of the micro-riot, two dudes climbed a pole and led various chants. Then they signalled for everyone to be quiet, and everyone, bizarrely enough, obliged.

This is what the dude yelled:

"You know what this is about? This isn't about us - this is for our grandfathers, who went 80 years without knowing what this feels like! This is for them!"

The micro-riot applause sounded different in response to this. It wasn't ecstasy or shock or delirium or chaos or bliss. It was the sound of respect, and pride, the sound of really deep roots.

And that, folks, is why I have been following baseball for the past two weeks. It's not baseball. It's pride in where I'm from, where my parents are from, where their parents and their parents' parents are from. Locals are a bizarre and dedicated breed, and that's what I am! Even though I don't live there anymore, I am still attached to my roots.

And so are most of you! I was thinking about how a lot of my friends from back home are locals with deep family roots in MA. For example, consider how M used to get excited every single time she'd drive by the house her father grew up in, which was around the corner from my house on Hall Street.

Or how my favorite ex-boyfriend's father is extremely sick, and how he has no short term memory anymore so he can't really communicate, but how my ex can still watch and discuss the Red Sox with him because my ex continuously returns to MA to watch sports.

In rooting for the Sox it's like I'm rooting for all of you because I know how much this means to you. I know that you have travelled to the west coast to see Red Sox games. I know that you look forward to Fenway each season. I know you've been hoping for this for your entire lives, just like your grandfathers. I am rooting for you and what you represent.

I can't get over the people on the street last night who were so angry that we were excited. It's just sad because New York City is a place where everyone feels like they belong. Historically that's what it is - people from all over the world came through New York City in search of hope and hopefully tolerance. New York City and its burroughs are places you can live regardless of your skin color, socioeconomic background, regardless of how bizarrely you dress or how many dogs you want to carry in your pocketbook with you to work.

Pride in the face of adversity. I hated New Yorkers last night and actually momentarily contemplated jumping on a Fung Wah bus to be where I belonged (until it occurred to me that, unlike NYC, the bars in Boston would not be open until 5am). I sang the praises of Boston and even of Rhode Island, where the kids I watched the game with hailed from (although I should mention that everyone in the bar agreed that CT, indeed, sucks).

This is why I watched baseball. I am proud of where I came from and who I am even though I live somewhere else now.

I am coming home for the parade this weekend because it actually hurts to see photos of people going nuts in Kenmore Square. I miss Boston today, but I will be there tomorrow! Woo hoo!

20 Things from 10.26.04

I wrote these down on fabulous pink post-its last night after baseball and half a bottle of wine because I was afraid that today I'd think that nothing happened yesterday.

In no particular drunken order:

1. Tommy Lee = growl

2. Larry King's big orange triangle head while interviewing Tommy Lee = weird

3. Red Sox = goes without saying

4. Audience in St. Louis = opposite of aesthetically appealing

5. Open mic on Avenue C = super sketchy and bad bad idea

6. Landon on Real World looking like and now reminding me of preferred ex-boyfriend = sentimental/nostalgic/missing/near-tears state

7. New York law requiring landlords to install carbon monoxide detectors that also requires tenants to pay for said detectors = absurd

8. MTV OC-reality-show-thing = only bad idea MTV has ever had

9. New Eminem video = phenomenal

10. Roommate's divorce finalized today = awesome!!!!

11. Hasidic men having to wear hats to bed = bizarre

12. White wine expanding cork = annoying but acceptable as long as you have packing tape

13. Nelson's After The Rain being played during World Series telecast = bliss!

14. Sister singing Somewhere Out There on phone = infinitely less lonely me

15. Snoop Dogg's minimalist Drop It Like Its Hot = salvation of current hip hop

16. Stranger comparing one of my blog songs to Low = one of best moments of life thus far

17. Labelling lots of tubes at work for first time in months = way more exciting than it should have been

18. New shirt from SoHo = big hit!

19. Listening to Your Ghost on Ipod = not as painful as it used to be

20. Daylight Savings Time (fall back! woo hoo!) in a few days = perfect timing after being drunk and sleep deprived because of baseball

The Votes Weren't In

So I only got one vote on what to do about the dude from The Riveria, and that was from my dear friend in France, who voted for Scenario 3.

I talked to an actual person about it - R at work - and he said "Dude, at least get a free dinner out of it! Don't tell him in advance you don't want to date him. That's mean. Get the free dinner, and say 'Look, man, I think you're cool but I'd like to just jam as friends."

After work last night I went to SoHo again in search of purple pants. I bought two purple sweaters, but no pants. I will not rest until I am the owner of purple pants! I tried on some size 0 pants that were at least four sizes to big. Infuriating.

(Sidenote 1: I have decided that when I am rich and famous I will be dressed by Dolce and Gabbana. People will say "Who are you wearing?" and I will say "Dolce and Gabbana" and then I will look coyly into the camera and pout.)

After the purple disappointment, I said "What will make up for this is a good burrito!" I'd heard of a place in Williamsburg that allegedly had good burritos, so I went there. Turned out to be an actual restaurant, so while waiting for my burrito I decided to call the dude.

(Sidenote 2: my quest for the Anna's-Equivalent-Burrito is still ongoing. I've now eaten burritos from six different places and none of them has even come close. There are so many issues - dryness, incorrect ratio of beans to rice, nastiness/run-iness of beans, nastiness of rice, bad ratio of guacamole to salsa. Last night's was ok - maybe number 2 in NY, but number 1 is not even 1/10 the burrito of the Anna's burrito!!! I am looking forward to Thanksgiving weekend if only to have an Anna's burrito.)

We were chatting, and we talked about SuperFly (it was nice to have someone to discuss SuperFly's embarrassing behavior with), the game (apparently all sorts of wonderful mayhem ensued for the hour or so after I left the Riviera last week), my job, NY. Finally I said "And what is it that you do?"

"I'm in the fashion industry."

I thought real hard and tried to remember him, and really, he's really really straight.

"Oh?"

"Actually, I just started a new job today."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I'm really excited about it because I'm launching a new line of products."

"Oh?"

He went on to talk about how he used to work for Liz Claiborne (weird) and how he loves
sales/marketing in the fashion industry. I thought "Word. Free clothes pour moi!"

He finally wrapped back around to what he's doing at his new job, and he said "Yeah, I'm really excited about this new line of products."

"What are they?"

"It's a line of women's intimate apparel! I'm so excited - they're like these fabulous sets of matching bras and panties."

Panties. He said "panties." Heh. Heh heh.

Only in NY, folks.

Unfortunately the friend scenario won't work to my advantage, because you can't really ask your male friend to get you free "intimate apparel." What kind of man says "intimate apparel?"

The good news is that it was very light and very short, and he's low key. He travels, I told him I am busy with baseball and other nonsense this week, and he said "maybe we can grab a beer or something next week." He said he'd call next week. Totally low maintenance.

Panties. Heh.

Dentist Rant

Dear faithful readers,

I went to my dentist appointment this morning. As you know, making this appointment, like all things in NYC, was an ordeal. I called and made an appointment with the bitchy lady on the phone who said "Would you also like to make an appointment for a cleaning?" I responded "Wait - what did I just make an appointment for?" "The dentist." "They're separate?" "Hmmm-hmmmm." She transferred me to someone, and I said "I'd like to make an appointment for a cleaning?" She said "When?" and I said "Well, I am seeing the dentist on 10/25 at 9:00 am so after that?" She made an appointment for me at 9:30. Never have I had to make two appointments, but they seemed to think I was being insane for being confused so whatever. I should have known!

I arrived this morning at 9:00 am. On the nose. I was proud, because I thought I was running really late. I get in there and its chaos. Tons of irritable people waiting for appointments, as well as tons of women waiting behind the desk just looking bitchy.

I walked up to the desk and stood there for about four minutes while all of these women ignored me. I figured one of them would acknowledge me, look up, say something. But no. They kept looking through me, answering phones, talking to one another, speaking in Spanish to patients who were clearly irate about something. The vibe in there was foul and impatient.

Finally I said "Um? Excuse me?" and this one girl looked at me, put out that I was speaking. "I have an appointment at 9:00 with the dentist and then at 9:30 for a cleaning." "Which dentist?" she snapped, and I said "I don't know. I'm new. Maybe you can look it up?" All put out, she threw some forms at me and told me to fill them out. Like literally threw them. Well, more like slid them at me on the counter and then rolled her eyes. I filled them out and brought them back, and said "I don't know the address of my insurance" and she yelled at me and said "You don't know the address of your employer?" and I said, "No, my insurance" and she was like "SO!?!?" and I said "Well, there's this box here that asks for the address of your insurance and I'm just letting you know that I didn't fill it in" to which she responded "You don't know your employer's address?"

She snatched the paperwork out of my hands and stomped away.

I waited. During this time period, an older gentleman stormed out. Another gentleman was huffing and puffing. Another woman stormed off. Then another gentleman said "I'm not sure if the dentist knows I'm here. Nobody alerted him." "Did you sign in?" one woman barked. "I did, but nobody told him." "Oh, he KNOWS." I said "Wait - I didn't sign in?" and another woman barked "You don't have to because you're new." Meanwhile another woman was on the phone and said to the gentleman "Oh, well, now he knows you're here." Bitches.

I waited for 35 minutes. I looked up from my book and made eye contact with another woman behind the desk, who was, surprise suprise!, bitchy!, who summoned me over. She said "Do you know your work phone number?" I said I didn't (lame of me, yes, I know). It occurred to me then that she hadn't done anything with my paperwork before I looked up.

I waited another ten minutes, looked up, made eye contact again, and she summoned me. This time she said "What about your work address zip code?"

I made one up and then sat back down. Another ten minutes passed (it was now 10:00 am) and finally I stormed over to the desk and said "Look, I had a dentist appointment at 9:00 am. I've been waiting for an hour and I haven't been called in for the dentist or for my cleaning."

"Did you put in your paperwork for your cleaning?"

"I filled out the paperwork you gave me."

"It's different."

"Excuse me?"

"You have to fill out paperwork for your cleaning. That's why you haven't been CALLED," she snapped, and pointed around the corner.

I walked around the corner to the unmarked cleaning office? WTF?!?!??!?! A woman gave me more paperwork and said I'd be called in a few minutes after I saw the dentist.

I nearly started to cry. I'd been there for over an hour and everyone was mean and bitchy. I said "Do you have any idea when this might happen?" and she didn't.

I waited another fifteen minutes, after which I was called in for x-rays which were adminstered by a bitchy woman who told me to relax and who I couldn't really understand through her accent.

Then I had to wait another fifteen minutes for "the dentist."

Then I got called back to see "the dentist," where yet another bitchy woman, who gave me dirty looks for no reason, set me up. After sitting in the chair in silence for ten minutes while she stomped around and spoke on her cell phone, I said "Do you have any idea when he might turn up?" and she said "HE'LL BE HERE IN A SECOND!" and then stormed off.

The dentist was nice enough, but I hated him anyway. He was trying to be chatty, asked me if my family was in the mafia, but I couldn't be bothered. I wanted to kill him. He told me I don't have a cavity and told me I should get my teeth whitened because they are running a deal for $150, which is actually fairly cheap and which I'd have considered if I wasn't adamant about never setting foot in that place again.

I put my coat on at 10:45 and stormed into the cleaning office and declared "I can't take this anymore! I've been here for an hour and 45 minutes and I have a job!" The woman understood and told me to call to reschedule my appointment, but clearly I won't be doing that.

Now.

I'm not irate that I had to wait. Sometimes these things happen. There are dental emergencies. I understand that someone's tooth falling out is far more important than my yearly cleaning.

But.

What I can't tolerate is gross incompetence, the fact that they clearly didn't do anything with my paperwork because they were sitting around being bitchy for the first 45 minutes I was there, the fact that they ignored me when I walked in (and ignored everyone else there, for that matter), the fact they they rolled their eyes every time a patient would call on the phone. They were the antithesis of helpful. Would it have been so difficult for them to say "Here, fill out this paperwork, and when you're finished, walk to the unmarked office around the corner and fill out paperwork there." If they'd said that, I could have had my teeth cleaned during the wait. But no! They can't possibly be proactive or nice.

I hate them all.

And now I have to make yet another cleaning appointment and fill out new paperwork at another dentist's office. Man. I am never calling 1-800-DENTIST again.

Little Sisters

The weekend is over. For the first time since moving to New York I felt lonely. This is most likely because I had no plans and because my roommate was back in Boston, much to her and my dismay.

On Friday night I played lots of piano - I am working on a cover of a song to play at an open mic. I probably won't play this week. I want to get a recording of this song before I go public. I've actually only heard this song once or twice in my life. My father used to play it on the piano all the time when I was little, so I have this distorted notion of how it goes. I heard it recently in a vegetarian cafe in Williamsburg and realized that its one of the best emo songs ever written, despite being from the 70's and being by one of the classic rock's giants.

Saturday was spent doing things like reading, piano, and three loads of laundry! And grocery shopping! And the cooking of pasta for dinner, which was monumental since I haven't managed to boil pasta in years.

Also on Saturday one of the boys I met outside the Riviera called. Luckily I didn't answer the phone. This is not the one I really wanted to call, of course. I am torn as to what to do - I know I don't want to date this guy but I liked him well enough. I'm not sure I want to date anyone right now. There's far too much for me to do on a personal level to be bothered, unless there are skyrockets. Faithful readers, do I:

1. not call him back, thus losing the potential for a cool friend
2. call him back and go on a date with him and then tell him I don't want to date him or
3. call him back and tell him I think he's cool and I'd like to hang out, but I'm
not interested in dating anyone right now

My vote is 3, but is that evil? I suppose if he thinks its evil, he can always say "I only want to date. I have enough friends."

I watched baseball until the bottom of the fourth on Saturday night and then dragged myself away from the TV to see my favorite band in the world, Pinback, play around the corner. The opening band, Aspects of Physics was raw torture despite their having a promising name. Raw. Torture. They were all computer-y and art rock and god awful and had projections.

Between the opening band and Pinback, I sat down next to this girl who I swear was Avril Lavigne. I swear to you. She said "Are you hear by yourself?" and I said "Why yes I am" and she said "So am I. My name is M." We talked for a while, all the while I kept thinking "Am I certain this is not Avirl Lavigne?" Seriously. She was adorable - she just moved to NYC from Kansas City, where she lived for a few months after graduating from college in CA. She needed to get away from things, but is now alternating between elation and misery in Queens, where she works at a Victoria's Secret due to her major being Philosophy. I really enjoyed her company. She took my number and we parted ways so that she could sit atop a speaker to enjoy the show. She passed by me once on the way to the bar, and on her way back she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

It struck me that thus far, the only females I've met in NYC have been like little sisters. They're all at least five years younger than me but extremely protective of my emotional state. Interesting.

Nevertheless, I digress. Pinback was also raw torture. I am devastated. This is an instance of a band being so horrible live that they are destroyed for you for the rest of time. The vocals were terrible. It amazes me that they were ever able to get vocals good enough for the albums. They rocked too hard live. The beauty of the recordings is that they are sublte and soft, really moody and elegant. Things were choppy live. I left early to watch the remainder of the game, but it was over by the time I got home. And now Pinback is ruined. Just like Death Cab For Cutie. Actually, they didn't sound unlike Death Cab For Cutie, even though they sound nothing like Death Cab For Cutie. I wonder if all emo bands sound the same live, and their recordings are just deceptive.

Sunday was SoHo shopping. I encountered all manner of little dogs wearing expensive outfits while shopping as well as all manner or snotty/obnovioux/overzealous salesperson. One girl said "That sweater will totally fit you - you should buy it without even trying it on" as she followed me around the store. I said, "No, actually, I'll just try it on" and she was all pissed. I tried it on, and it was, of course, too big. Like it was so big that it was hanging off my chest. I came out of the dressing room and handed it to her and she was like "What! What's WRONG?" and I said "Too big" and she said "But you didn't even SHOW ME" and was all bitchy. I was like "Believe me, it was too big" and she said "Hmph" and stormed away.

I also walked into a store that could have been a museum or a store. I'm still not sure. Very fancy. I shouldn't have been in there. I also tried to get into a store that was locked. Perhaps it is one of these stores where you need an appointment to shop, or the kind of place where there can only be X amount of people in there at once so that the ratio of customer to salesperson can promote perfect overzealous/obnoxious salesperson behavior.

The good news it that I have purchased a coat! Now I can appear like a New Yorker on the outside, at the very least. I admired myself in many windows on the way to work this morning. My roommate said that I look like "a piece of candy" in the coat. It is agreed that it was a good purchase.

I listened to the new Elliott Smith on the subway. I almost cried. There is some really good stuff on it, some of his best. I'm sure Elliott Smith didn't sound like Death Cab for Cutie live, and he's about as Emo as it gets. Elliott, we miss you!

I Wish You Saw My Room With Stuff In It

Genre: Cheesy Piano Song
Date: 9.15.04

(for those of you have forgotten how to do this, please click on the green arrow in front of Audioblog and you will be able to hear the song in very poor quality)

Description:

Much much much to say about this song.

Aesthetically, I wanted this song to be very lethargic and wistful, which is how I felt during my last few days in MA. I was so exhausted, so sentimental yet so dull to everything around me. That is why the song is so slow paced. My thoughts were so many and so sluggish during that time period.

Second, this song is the sequel to Drone, which you might remember as track 7 from Lollybanger's very first EP, Plumb Forgot. It is its successor because its pretty much about the same scenario, only with the roles reversed.

Third, I'm not going to say too much about what this song is about because its fairly obvious (and private, even though I've written a song about it and put it out there for the world to hear). My theory (now that this particular scenario has played out in my life many, many times - I am such a pattern) is that when confronted with the idea of someone leaving your life forever or with the idea that things are changing between you and someone else forever or with the idea that you might have missed out on something before the change and now's your very last chance!, people do insane things. You can't think straight when confronted with the severity and permanence of someone disappearing from your life. You do desperate, bizarre, ill-advised things.

Fourth, I don't think that these things are always desperate, bizarre, or ill-advised. I think, more likely, they are done to distract you from the fact that you are leaving everything behind or that someone is leaving you behind. You don't think about repercussions. You can only think about "now" because "now" is all that remains between you and that person.

Fifth, my last night at Hall Street was amazing fun and I will remember it crisply for the rest of my life. I will remember the subject matter of this song, as well as my darling roommates setting up a candle lit Chinese Food Vigil in the backyard, my sister and my LBF in Stah Mahket trying to find desserts that everyone could eat, MS stopping by and giving me a hug when I really needed it and telling me he was grateful to have gotten to know me, SM giving me a copy of Bjork's Medulla because he really wants me to like it, the piano movers showing up at 6:45 am and letting themselves into my apartment because I apparently drunkenly left the door open all night, sitting on my roommate's bed in the morning after an hour of sleep again feeling sentimental but sluggish while my roommates were being fabulously normal and cute as they cursed the fact that it was not a resident of Hall Street who christened the new shower curtain!

Hope you enjoy the song, and please let me know what you think. I am thrilled that there is music again. More to come soon....

Lyrics:

Is it only because I'm leaving and you no longer have to deal with me
All this time you've been wondering

I'm leaving tomorrow
I love you for taking my mind off of it

Is it only because I'm leaving and I no longer have to deal with it
All this time I've been curious

I'm leaving this morning
I love you for lying awake with me

No questions or consequences
We're just frantic to make up for lost time
We're manic and passionate

I'm leaving momentarily
Will I ever see you again?

Is it only because I'm leaving that we don't have to discuss what this is
I'd still like to know
And I'd still like to know you

They Say The Neon Lights Are Bright on Hall Street

Hall Street.JPG, originally uploaded by leah_lar.

This is me on my very last night at Hall Street. Sadness and weeping.

Friday

Friday is so good. I'm not sure I've been this tired in my entire life.

Last night I went to Happy Hour with "the cool kids" from work. I had a lovely time, but I was tired and shouldn't have been drinking again. "The cool kids" said they would come into my bay and talk about lunch for half an hour and then invite only me.

We left for Happy Hour at 6:00. They chose a place around the corner that didn't have any food or people other than us in it. By 8:30 I was dying. I was so hungry. Granted, I had too much to drink the night prior and only had a cup of butternut squash soup with a small piece of cornbread for lunch, so my body was not at its best. But I was starving by 7:00!!!! And nobody else was hungry! I don't understand! There were other women there, so they must have been hungry. Finally I said "I cannot make a meal of these pretzels!" and declared that I was leaving. Everyone was like "What? You're leaving? Why? Why can't you wait?" and I was like "Because I am going to die, and also because I can't drink anymore if I don't eat something." They said "You better come back." I promised I would, and then started walking around aimlessly and ended up somewhere (Bleecker Street somewhere?) having a foul piece of pizza. I Walking back I got completely and utterly lost. No idea. I managed to find my way back sans map and hung out until about 10:00 or so, when someone said "I'm hungry" and then the group decided to disband.

Which was good, because they were all very drunk from having been drinking for four hours with no food.

Crazy people! I demand that we choose a place with food for Happy Hour next week.

After Happy Hour, I returned home to find that we now have functional DSL! Yipee!

Thus, when next we meet, dear reader, there will be music on the blog. Try to contain your excitement.

All I can think about right now is 6:00 so I can leave, buy some groceries, and then sleep sleep sleep for 14 hours straight. Sleep. Friday. Good.

Today I Miss Boston

The Red Sox won. I can’t believe it.

I kept waiting for badness to happen, but it never did.

I went to class last night and couldn’t pay attention, because I was excited about baseball. After class, the kid on whom I have a friendship crush from class was chatty, and I had to be like “I’m sorry, I have to run and watch the baseball game.” I don’t know what’s come over me. Apparently my Boston-Red-Sox-gene has been activated in response to living somewhere other than MA.

(Sidenote 1: class was awesome again! We talked about The Fantastic Four and how and why it was revolutionary, and how it’s symbolic. Also there was a new kid, who makes the entire class, including the professor, feel awkward, because he’s read every comic ever made and because he is your quintessential having-no-social-skills-eyes-going-in-two-directions-gross-dungeons-and-dragons-playing-awkward-not-funny-but-thinks-he’s-funny-and-talks-all-the-time-nasty dude.)

I got to Riviera Café at about 8:30. There was a crowd of Red Sox fans outside watching the game. It’s actually a good set up because the walls of the bar are glass (like a green house) so you can be part of things without actually being in the bar. The place had been filled to capacity as of 3:30, so I didn’t have a chance of getting in. What with the job.

I was by myself and didn’t really know what to do, so I was thrilled when two girls suggested a movement to take over a Yankees bar. Fabulous idea! The three of us rallied some other people, mainly others who were there by themselves, to descend upon this bar around the corner.

When we walked in en masse, there was a murmur of people saying “Those are Red Sox people! Grumble grumble.” We picked the right place because their martinis were on sale two for $10! I spent time with these two adorable chicks, one of whom was from Newton. They are probably 22, but I love them anyway. They want to hang out and take me to a vegetarian restaurant nearby.

(Sidenote 2: SuperFly was in town and drunk again, and the girls felt bad for me when they saw him. One of their friends said “Why do you even know that guy?” and I started explaining how I met him after college when I was on the rebound and this same girl interrupts me and says “Look, I have to ask you something – are you like 22 or 32 because seriously you can’t tell at all. Seriously. You like can’t tell. Seriously.” And then the others nodded. Didn’t know how to take that. Did she really think I could be 32!?!??!)

The game was exciting. I am not concerned with details. You saw the game. You know how it was. I don’t remember the details because the martinis were on sale. The Red Sox fans were rowdy with martinis. The Yankees fans were mostly silent.

I met a lot of transplants. People from different places in MA – I met someone from Ashland. I met someone from San Francisco. A bunch of people from Chicago. I would say “And you’re a Red Sox fan?” and they’d say “No, I just hate the Yankees.” We are all united against a common enemy, against the Evil Empire, against arrogance and big mean bullies. Many people in New York hate the Yankees, because they are “the man.” The represent money and all that is wretched.

By the bottom of the 9th things seemed safe, so I suggested we head back to The Riviera to celebrate with the other folks on the street. It was chaos. Police in riot gear. People jumping up and down, screaming, crying. Total happiness, aside from this one lone man in the crowd who was a Yankees fan and kept yelling “You should all just move back to Boston!” He should have watched the game at any one of the 8 million bars in NYC with Yankees fans. He was amusing, though, when he said “The Yankees fans look stressed. Like about-to-deliver-a-baby stress.”

Once it was official, the crowd was officially nuts. I couldn’t stop smiling. I chanted “Yankees suck!” I hugged everyone. I cried a little.

I hung out on the street for a bit to soak it all in, to enjoy happiness, and eventually decided to head home. When I opened the door to the cab, I said “Will you take us to Williamsburg?” In response, the driver said “You a Yankees fan?” and I was like “Hell no!” He said “Then I won’t take you.” I said “Are you serious?” and he said “Yes, I am.” Very stern. Started driving away. I was like “You’re serious?” He said “Are you a Yankees fan? Say you like the Yankees and I’ll take you.” I said I liked the Yankees and then proceeded to say "I can't believe the Red Sox won!" for the entire ride home. The driver was pissed. Whatever. I don’t care. He’s just an evil big bully. I gave him a huge tip because I felt bad for him and his defeated big bully ways.

I couldn’t stop giggling once I got back to The Loft.

I couldn’t stop giggling, but I also felt really sad, because there was nobody there to enjoy it with. Alone again.

All night I had half-awake dreams of baseball and antibodies and Coyote Ugly (no idea!) and Spiderman-shaped-Spiderman-decorated birthday cakes and when I was mostly awake felt nauseous and sad and elated.

Today I miss Boston for the first time since I moved. I miss that everyone on the T had shit-eating grins. I miss that everyone was hungover. I miss being able to go into work late or not at all and that people would understand. I am sad that I can’t say “The World Series is coming to Fenway!” and have people know why that’s exciting. I am sad that I can’t watch the games with friends.

But mostly I am happy, because the Red Sox won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Crazy Things Scientists Will Do

There is currently a problem with the plumbing in my building. No use of bathrooms or sinks. No obsessive compulsive hand-washing for those who do that. It's amazing how much you use a sink for experiments.

Not to mention the fact that there is flooding. And a lovely aroma on floors other than my own. And water leaking through floors onto people's desks below. And there is "a problem" in the animal facility.

Yet, of course, we are still here.

There Will Be A Game 7!

I watched the game last night. I was convinced (and bizarrely enough semi-disappointed) that there wouldn't be one because it was nasty nasty nasty out there. Roommate was having boyfriend-troubles so we drank lots of wine while we simultaneously watched the game, and the Real World, and other things to take away from the boringness of baseball.

Bronson Arroyo is the best name in the world.

Anyway. The wine caused me to pass out during the bottom of the ninth, so I just went to bed because I could no longer function.

This morning I desperately tried to find a radio station that would tell me the outcome of the game.

I managed to hear Color Me Badd's I Want To Sex You Up as well as someone talking about how LL Cool J has suggested buying a new shower curtain and smearing it with baby oil before putting it on your bed to spice up your sex life. Finally I found a channel that was playing some sort of Red Sox bashing reggae song which allowed me to conclude that they'd won!

Yippee!!!

My plan for tonight is to go to this Safe For Red Sox Fans bar in the Village after class to watch the game.

Someone at work just said "I think the Yankees let them win on purpose to get people to watch the series, for advertising, you know." Right. The Yankees let them win.

Collective stress is such a weird phenomenon.

OK. Back to the blot.

Red Sox

I was talking to my former roommate last night, and she said "You really should watch the game. It's 4 - 3 in the bottom of the 7th. It will be over soon."

I resisted at first, but then thought "Will it really kill me to watch two innings of baseball?"

Heh.

I kept thinking "I've made it this far... I might as well watch another inning... after all, it can't go on forever."

Finally I said "I can't take it anymore!" and brushed my teeth to start preparing for delicious sleep.

I finished brushing my teeth, walked back into the loft, and the Red Sox had won while I was in the bathroom. Of course. The one moment I step away.

Because I am from Boston and am therefore superstitious about sports, if they are tied again tonight, and yes, I will most likely be watching the game tonight because once you start you can't stop, I will exit to brush my teeth because I am nearly certain my brushing my teeth is what caused them to win.

Milestone 1: Check!

My first weekend of sleep was blissful.

On Friday night I took a nap after getting home from work, after which Roommate and I went to the East Village to hang out with the Depeche Mode Cover Band girls. Roommate called me at midnight and was all "Get your ass out of bed!" so I did. We called a cab service and headed over to the island. The woman who picked us up kept saying "Ay yai yai!" and told us we were "so cute" when we got out of her cab. She most likely thought this because for the entire trip over the bridge we kept saying "I can't believe we live here!" "We live here!" "We live here!"

On our way over, I said "I am very excited to go to the East Village and see some new bars!" because the bar we were going to wasn't at an address I recognized. I said "No, man, I have no idea where that is." Turned out to be one of the bars that R and I went to on Thursday. Of course.

We had a lovely time. The girls were adorable and friendly and we got good and drunk and talked about stuff. The cab driver who took us home told us his life story. Ah New York.

On Saturday I went shopping in The City for books for class. I mention this not because I purchased books for class, but because I have officially reached New Life Milestone 1! While in Forbidden Planet, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was taken off guard, because who on earth could be tapping me on the shoulder in a city where I know nobody? I turned around, and it was someone from my class! Milestone 1: Check! Have officially run into someone I know! Yippee!!!!

Got back from shopping and hung out with Roommate. She was flipping channels for the first time since we got cable, since we've literally been watching either MTV or the Surreal Life 3, and she came upon HBO, which we had! I said "Perhaps it is a free preview?" Turns out we have, like, 7 HBOs, 8 Showtimes, Cinemaxes, Sundances. Pretty much everything. And we're not paying for it. Word. My theory is that perhaps the cable guy hooked us up. Curious.

And then Roommate dyed my hair black (sorry Peaches!). Thank god. Blonde was peaking through. We can't have that. It looks lovely.

Yesterday did laundry, hung out on the Upper East Side with my friend blind date where I found the most fabulous bag for $179 which I am actually considering buying because I am a New Yorker and $179 for bag doesn't seem ridiculous to me anymore, and then came home and watched Desperate Housewives and Surreal Life 3. Flava Flave!!!! Actually, when LBF visited last weekend we went shopping and found this store that had the Flava Flave alarm clock, which I haven't stopped thinking about. I might buy it, because, as Roommate said last night, we feel like Flava is our friend and its going to be weird when he's not around anymore. Maybe I'll ask my parents for it for Christmas. That would be hysterical.

And now it is Monday.

Oh well.

Mass Wedding

Went to see The Corporation last night after work. It was ok. Made me think about things and therefore made me extremely depressed. Made me feel like I have to take more responsibility for my life and what I dump down the sink at work. Made me feel like the world is a bad, bad, bad corporate jungle but we all need to have money, so it all makes sense. I miss the days when I felt like I didn't require money to be happy.

After the movie I went for drinks with Friend R From Work in the East Village. I don't know where we went. It's all a little foggy. It was slightly trippy because we walked by Certain Someone's apartment, and I went from thinking "Wow! This is all so new!" to being like "Wait a second.... I've been here a million times." I had a couple of cosmopolitans, which wasn't the best idea since I had a bagel for dinner.

When my second cosmo was finished, I decided to head back to Brooklyn. Walked myself back to the L, went down the stairs, and realized "Wait! I can't get IN TO the L!" Yes, folks, the L, my only way to get home, stops running at midnight. Who knew?

I ran into a girl who was also flabbergasted, so we decided to get a cab together. We tried to get a cab for a few minutes without luck, and finally managed to get one that we sort of stole from these two dudes across the street. They were pissed, so I was like "Dudes, where are you guys going?" They were going to basically where we were going, so the four of us shared a cab back to Brooklyn.

Those two dudes didn't know each other either, so it started out really awkwardly, but luckily one of the dudes was very talkative. Turns out he's directing a play and is originally from Boston, where his father is a biochemist at MIT. We chatted, and I asked him about how he made friends, and he's like "Random - just start going to a bar and you'll make friends, or you meet people in the back of cabs. You know. That's how you make friends."

He also said "Don't worry about it just yet. You are a young plant. You don't have roots yet. You can't. It's normal."

He also gave me his email and said "I'll get you tickets to the play. You should come. Email me."

Word. I emailed him, but I assume he will be like all men (well, I am comparing him to all straight men and he is not a straight man, but he is still a man!) and will not respond, but I figured I'd try.

So when we got into Williamsburg there was tons of traffic. Totally bizarre. There's never traffic in Williamsburg. And tons of hasidic men walking around. Tons. Insane amounts blocking traffic and causing traffic.

The silent dude in the cab, who turned out to be of Russian or something confused with Russian descent, said "There's a mass Jewish wedding tonight from midnight to 5 am. 1500 people getting married."

What?

Tons of traffic, so I ended up being dropped off fairly far from my apartment. And there were, seriously, swarms of hasidic men on all the streets at 1 am. No women anywhere. Just men for like 5 square blocks. And it was loud and alive and there were tons of buses blocking my apartment because apparently the buses were being parked at my building.

I was psychotically giggling during my entire walk home. Drunk tagged R but he didn't answer the phone, which made me mad, but I guess it was an hour after I'd left him in the East Village. It was just so funny, not because there's anything inherently funny about a mass wedding at 1 am in my neighborhood, but because this is my life. I now live in a place where I get lost and take cabs with complete strangers and then encounter mass weddings at 1 am on a Thursday and have nobody to share it with.

Life is getting good.

Back To School

I went to class last night. It was difficult. Not the class itself, but the act of going-to-class. I haven't been to class in forever. Of course the normal issues of commitment-phobia came rushing to the surface. When people ask "Why don't you go back to school?" I usually blame issues of money or time or happiness. The truth is that I can't commit to anything for more than a day.

This particular class is an adult ed, non-credit class being offered through NYU. It is called "Comics as Literature." I chose this class specifically because it seemed non-committal (and also because it seemed cool!) - like how much dedication could it possibly take to read comics?

I got lost going there. Big surprise. I had a map and still got lost because W. Houston curved. NY is lovely because it is a grid but you take grid-ness for granted and just keep walking in the same direction when every now and then things become a triangle. Confusing.

NYU is surprisingly close to where I work, which will be lovely when it is snowing and I am feeling ultra-commitment-phobic about going to class.

And you will all be so proud of me - R from work said "The CMJ Music Marathon starts tonight - we should go to a show" to which I responded "Alas, no, I cannot, because I have class! And I am going to it! And there's nothing you or the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players can do about it!" I'd have loved, though, to see Sonic Youth with MixMaster Mike, but there were no tickets. That show wouldn't have interfered with my being a good student. Hmph.

Class was cool. We get to read fabulous things like Watchmen and Sandman and other things. Also learned a bit about the history of comics, graphic novels, etc., and am inspired to, gasp, read more! School is cool! I like school! I think I will be doing more school in the future!!!

Never underestimate the benefits of having something regular and dependable to do, especially when you don't know anyone. I am jazzed about the next class. And not because the class is good - it's not - but because I am thrilled to have something regular in my life!

So yes. Class. There are 6 students. Me, a girl who reminds me of Jessica Simpson and who is taking this class because her job is making her (what would I give to have a job that forced me to take this class! yes!), a woman from NJ who works in HR and talks really fast and is very socially aggressive and talks and talks some more but seems nice, an older guy who has lots to say and knows everything but isn't obnoxious about it, a reluctant kid who works for Columbia House and a shy dude who is studying film at Columbia (he is my favorite, because he is
softspoken and dark and because I secretly hope he will write a movie about this class).

The teacher looked like a professor. Tweed jacket over turtleneck. He grew up in Boston in that time that bred people who wear jackets with elbow pads over turtlenecks and who have that more-proper-Boston-accent like my parents have. They say "hahlf" instead of "half." That kind.

After class, I walked with the girls to the subway. It was funny because they had no idea where they were going and I did! Yay grid! I was like "The subway stop is in this direction, gals!" It was funny because NJ/HR girl was complaining "I didn't think we'd have to do work in this class!" I suppose by do work she means read comics. God forbid. I was glad, though, that someone else couldn't commit to doing work. But seriously. Is it that stressful to read graphic novels? And she really thought we'd just go and listen?

It made me sad, though, because Watchmen is the best book ever and it would make me sad if she (or anyone) didn't read it when given the opportunity. I kept being like "No, dude, you have to read Watchmen though. Seriously. It's worth it." I must have sounded like such a dork, but whatever! She should read it!

(Sidenote: Before I moved I read Watchmen again after nearly 10 years to the minute from the first time I read it, and man, was it good again! I wrote a song called "Dr. Manhattan" that I never recorded, but now I shall be inspired and will put it on the blog soon! Yeah!)

I walked to the train with Jessica Simpson. She was nice and wearing very high pink high heels. Sadly she'd lost her metro card, though, and therefore couldn't get on the subway with me despite all her good intentions. Curses! The good news, though, is that she has to take this class for work so she will definitely be there next week. We will be able to chat. I will have human interaction. It will be marvelous.

After class I decided to check out an alleged open mic in Williamsburg, but it turned out to be a dreaded Singer/Songwriter Showcase from 8:30 - 10:30, f0llowed by open mic at 10:30. Open mics are good because there's a chance that there might be something good so you can convince yourself to sit through the bad. Bad singer/songwriter showcases are just bad bad bad. This one was bad bad bad and being listened to a bunch of hipsters about 1/2 my age who clapped politely and generally looked angsty. I was there for 1.5 songs and left hoping that America's Next Top Model was on at 9:00.

It wasn't. It was debate, baseball, or hip hop honors. It's all about hip hop honors. Roommate has taken to calling me "Puff Leah" and every time the people on the honors made a shout-out to anything New York related - Brooklyn, the Bronx, New York City, Union Square - we responded because they are obviously talking to us! We are especially proud of our neighbors The Beastie Boys.

And how awesome is Chuck D? Word.

Criminally bad

I went to see Criminal last night.

Even the adorableness of Diego Luna (who, incidenally, is three years younger than me) was not enough to save this movie from being one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Please do not see it.

That is all.

Columbus Day Weekend Part Deux - The Birth of Hip Hop Anonymous

On Sunday LBF and I went for breakfast where LBF, who doesn’t like Bloody Marys, decided to try a Bloody Mary. Bad idea. I don’t know why anyone likes Bloody Marys, but that’s beside the point! We then headed back to The Loft to change outfits since all of a sudden it is winter and we were caught unprepared. From there we headed into Manhattan, where we had two goals: MTV Store and Accessories.

The MTV Store was a disappointment for LBF, who was expecting something much more dramatic. I was expecting Puffy to be there, but sadly, he was not. Mission Accessories, however, proved fruitful. LBF now owns the world’s most vast collection of purple accessories, including bracelets, necklaces, rings, and earrings. I now own about 7 pairs of earrings I don’t need as well as the world’s most fabulous sparkly pink wallet! Finally! Project Wallet, which has been ongoing for the past four years and I’m not kidding, has finally come to an end. I will never have to buy a wallet again!

After shopping in Soho, we thought “Hey, we’re hungry! Let’s go grab a quick slice of pizza in Little Italy!” HAH! You’d think it would be easy to get a quick slice of pizza in Little Italy, but no. Like everything in New York, this was a project. We finally found a place to get a slice of pizza after walking the entirety of Little Italy twice, but then it took them, like, 15 minutes to give us two freaking slices of cheese pizza. LBF was homicidal this time.

We then headed back to The Loft, where we primped for KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPEE!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the main reasons for LBF to visit on this particular weekend was karaoke. Hip hop karaoke, to be more precise. I’d seen this on a website when I first moved here. I thought “New York is heaven. They specifically have hip hop karaoke in my neighborhood on Sunday nights!”

We talked about Hip Hop Karaoke all day. As usual, I was neurotic. I was worried about many things – like what if people were really good? What if people could tell we were posers? What if there were no people? What if it was a Chinese food restaurant with only one guy doing hip hop karaoke? What if it was really intimidating? What if they could see right through us? Who would be there? What song would I do? What if I sucked? Etc.

LBF was more optimistic, and said “Leah, the people at hip hop karaoke will think we are goddesses by the time we’re through.”

LBF – glass-half-full attitude or completely unrealistic expectations? All I need to say is that it’s a good thing I’m neurotic (and Super Fly just has to deal with my being neurotic!).

We walked to the Chinese Restaurant, which, as far as I can tell, didn’t even have a sign. Then we walked in and there were no people. None. And also no karaoke. Then I noticed a stairwell. We walked down this stairwell into this red-lit den with a bar and maybe about 10 people sitting around drinking. We took off our coats and decided to get a drink, but there was no bartender.

Finally a bartender appeared and we ordered drinks. Perplexing, though, because hip hop karaoke allegedly began at 8:00 and it was, ahem, 10:30.

We made fun of the place for a while, partially because it was so awful and partially because we were, well, worried. Amidst our discussions, LBF said “Wait a second – I don’t see a monitor.”

Baffling. No monitor. But signs for karaoke.

Uh-huh.

You see, it’s not karaoke at all! It’s actually a real DJ! And you can do whatever song you want! And if you don’t know the words, they have the words printed out on sheets of paper! YEAH!!!!

In all my paranoid scenarios, I never once thought “Perhaps it will not be karaoke at all, and what it will be, instead, is actually more of a hip hop open mic night in which you are encouraged to do covers!”

LBF’s goddess dreams = shattered.

Now. This was disappointing for a variety of reasons. No hip hop karaoke. Plus, how weak is that? I could host hip hop karaoke and actually do a better job with my broken karaoke machine that doesn’t have video right now! Also, it’s not karaoke because you have to be good to do it. You have to know the song inside and out. Where’s the fun in that?!?!?!?!?

Luckily I am a paranoid idiot, and made backup karaoke plans.

Apparently, without having known it in advance, I moved to a building around the corner from the best karaoke bar I’ve ever been to.

Check out this website:

http://www.sidandbuddy.com/

Hosted by “Sid” who is the inexplicably irresistible combination of Beetlejuice and Vince Vaughan. I guess its good that I am rabid for an actual person. The show is great. The man can sing and play a mean inflatable guitar. There were a bunch of, well, regulars there who are zany and charming and supportive and actually good.

It’s fabulous because you actually do karaoke on a stage, rock-star-style, and he’s got TONS of reverb and a little echo on the mic so everyone sounds great.

LBF was amazing. During the day, she came up with her hip hop alter ego, Hip Hop Anonymous. She thinks this is the funniest thing she’s ever said. I’m not sure that I really get it, but I’ll support her. Sid called her up as Hip Hop Anonymous and she kicked ass – did a little LL, did a little Beasties, and the crowd adored her. They commended her “courage.”

I did “Somebody to Love” by Queen. Sort of a melodramatic choice, but I am feeling melodramatic lately. Plus, I think it’s a fitting song for this point in my life. I have no idea if it was good or not because I was having a nervous breakdown while doing it and am now suffering from post-traumatic-karaoke-stress-disorder. I had fun, though, especially being on stage. I do remember looking down and seeing people watching me, which is cool and also horrifying.

I am so going back this weekend, and am hoping that I too become a zany regular.

Karaoke. Around the corner from The Loft. Life is good.

Columbus Day Weekend Part 1 - Super Fly says "There's no malice in here!"

My first long weekend in NYC has come and gone.

It started off with shopping on Broadway. Super Fly and I met up after work on Friday because I wanted to buy a yellow lamp for the living room and he wanted to buy a sequel to the Super Fly t-shirt for his brother. Super Fly ended up spending tons of money on things such as a shirt that said Bad Ass Mo Fo, a blue Chinese robe for his pimp daddy self, and these weird glowing balls. I can’t even describe them. When I have internet at home I will post a photo. They’re much cooler than they sound.

We grabbed some pizza and some alcohol and headed back to Williamsburg, where I watched the debate before going out for the night. Kerry kicked the crap out of Bush, who was super defensive. Of course, in typical and super annoying Super Fly fashion, Super Fly proceeded to get trashed while watching the debate, talked through the entire thing, and then started going off about how ridiculous a country America is. This annoyed me because Super Fly, as a non-American, has taken advantage of the American way of things more than anyone I’ve ever met, American or not. I got really defensive and pissed off, because it’s the age old analogy: I can make fun of my little brother but the second anybody else does I’ll go nuts. Thankfully Super Fly had other plans for the evening and hauled his drunk ass self out of my apartment to go meet some Irish Girl he’d met last time we were here in May, on the night that Super Fly was born. He left without his shoes. It was awshummm. I didn’t go out because, seriously, I felt like I might kill someone. There’s nothing I loathe more than being antagonized / annoyed in my own home. Thankfully I have more appealing drunk friends who happened to call me on Friday night during this ordeal, and thankfully I have sober friends who were home and who I called and who listened to me during this ordeal.

On Saturday morning my former LBF arrived for a visit! I was thrilled. I was especially happy to see her after having spent Friday night feeling homicidal. I grabbed some breakfast with Super Fly and LBF, after which we trolled around Williamsburg looking at vintage clothes that were all too big for me and exploring the area. We went back to The Loft and took naps, after which we went to Sea, which is the coolest Thai restaurant on the planet. Afterwards we went back to The Loft to primp.

We went to No Malice Palace in the East Village afterwards, which is my favorite bar on the planet. Gratitude towards Certain Someone for taking me there over a year ago. They play underground hip hop and the scene is very non-scenester. There wasn’t all that much material to work with, aside from this huge group of ex-frat boys who looked like they had beamed in from Boston. Not that I was interested in them, because, really, that was the whole point of leaving Boston, but LBF was all over that.

Had some interesting conversations with Super Fly there. I was drinking and getting moody and lonely and emo, and Super Fly was actually being supportive. He also confessed that he annoys me on purpose, which, well, annoyed me. But he can be so endearing, which is why we're still friends, and which is why I was happy to have him there when I was being emo. This didn't, however, prevent me from asking Super Fly to leave The Loft. The Loft just isn't big enough for Super Fly.

Super Fly says "You can't go wrong with black, unless it's dark blue."

First Confused Moment

So I woke up at 3am last night and thought "Where am I?" And then I thought "Oh right, I live in NYC and I have to work in the morning."

Wtf?

Also, this morning I watched The Weather Channel for the first time, since I've still been unable to track down a weather hotline. I was watching Local on the 8's, and the first screen was split between BOSTON And NYC. Of course I looked at the Boston weather and thought "Whoa! It's going to be COLD today!" Heh. Luckily NYC is going to be 5 degrees warmer. Take that!

(Side note: The Weather Channel is totally advertising that Day After Tomorrow monstrosity because apparently it was about weather, and not Jake Gylenhaal's descent into lack of cred)

Finally, on the topic of celebrity crushes, Jude Law is everywhere and I am thrilled! I may have to see Alfie even though it looks bad because it has Jude Law and because it is about NYC.

Celebrity Crush Du Jour: Tie between Scott Weiland and Dave Navarro.

Dave Navarro - so adorable I can't handle it. I want what Carmen and Dave have. Then I can be happy. I was watching some god awful entertainment show like Extra last night so I could be melancholy about the death of Christopher Reeve and they had an interview with Dave. Yum.

Scott Weiland - rock starrrrr. I love him being all waify and snakey. I hate Fall to Pieces because it is very melodramatic and cheesy but is admittedly a good STP/GnR hybrid. Anyway, when I was watching The Weather Channel this morning I actually watched videos for a bit (I can't stop!), and saw the video for Fall to Pieces, which was even more melodramatic than the song itself. It had Scott Weiland acting. Point being, despite the high cheese quotient of the video I was still rabid for Scott Weiland. Absolutely rabid.

It occurs to me now that because I know noone and can't have a crush on anyone in my actual life, I have reverted to being fourteen and having crushes on celebrities. Word.

I will write about ce weekend soon-ish.

MTV

Last night I left work early because I was hungover and ineffective. Ineffective to the point that my head kept nearly crashing down onto my computer keyboard.

I went home and was like "Wow! I can watch TV for the first time since I've had TV!" so I watched MTV.

And then I realized one of the good things about not having TV is that you don't have the knowledge that Lindsay Lohan has busted into the world of professional singing. Like a zombie I watched the MTV Linsday Lohan making-the-video of her new smash single Rumors. I realize she's sick of people saying what they want about her and she really just wants me to back up off her, but really. Is this necessary?

I just don't see what the big deal about Lindsay Lohan is. She has very thin lips. She is dating Fes from That 70s Show and this is infuriating. Apparently she is now singing.

MTV2 was showing Eminem videos and only Eminem videos. I don't like the new Eminem song, so I couldn't bring myself to watch any Eminem videos because it just depressed me. So of course my only alternative was to watch MTV.

But really. Does the world need another thin-lipped pitch-corrected teen-y girl singer singing about how opressed she is now that she's famous? MTV is such an enabler. At least the cookie cutter vocalists now come with different color hair so us brunettes can feel like we're worth something. And now the thin-lipped girls of the world can feel special too!!!!

Linsday Lohan. Her next song will be about how she's so overxposed and how she feels so bad about it.

I've been listening to Howard Stern in the mornings because there is no good music being played in NYC in the mornings. I actually happened to catch his "announcement" the other day and it made me really sad. Not because I will miss Howard Stern but because I feel like free radio is good and how threatening could a radio show really be to society? He had some really good points, and, well, why should only the rich be able to listen to his program and get to watch The Sopranos? It just ain't right.

Anyway, the reason I mention this is because Howard Stern keeps having Lindsay Lohan's biological father on the program, and its really funny, because the guy is a total screw up and he also feels so oppressed. He's the polar opposite of Jessica Simpson's amazingly put together gay agent father. He's like "I had to be dragged out of that bar because I got belligerent because of an interaction between that one drink I had and the perscription drugs I was taking!" And then the bouncer from that bar called and they had a fight over the phone about it. I have to admit, and I swear I'm not a fan of Howard Stern, that I laughed really hard.

Three Cosmos and a Forkful of Mac and Cheese - Part 2

The party was great. It was just what I needed. I identified potential friend material, drank lots, relaxed, danced to killer hip hop. (Aside: it saddens me that I don’t know any lyrics to hip hop songs anymore. I am an old lady!) Couldn’t have asked for a better night. I am madly in love with New York City today.

We got to the party at 5:30, and by 10:00 I was sort of like “Wow, I’ve been here a long time.” People were leaving, people were getting sloppy, and I was actually getting tired. Curse these 9 – 5:30 hours!!!

I located my friend D, because there was talk of heading out to Williamsburg for a show afterwards, and I was like “Dude, wanna head out?” and he’s like “Wanna go to that show?” and I’m like “Sure.”

So we’re on our way out, but, of course, “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough” was playing so I had to dance to it. And then another song I liked. Then I was drinking more cosmo and having that conversation with J and lost D. I was semi-irritated about it, but only semi, because I sort of just wanted to go to bed. So I said “Word” to J and walked upstairs out of the bar where I found D.

D was basically holding R up. R was TRASHED. Obliterated. Ridiculous ridiculous insane level drunk. Beyond even college-level. Running out into traffic drunk. Falling on the street drunk. Falling over tables in the bar and nearly lighting himself on fire drunk. Taking a nap on the street drunk. Unable to hold himself up drunk. Huggy drunk. “I lufff that you werrrrrkkkkkk here….. yerrrrrr awshummmm……” drunk. I really know how to pick em.

Apparently HR had called “a car” to come and get him, and D was going to take him back to his place. I offered to join him, because the car would make many stops, so why not? Plus, I felt bad for D and figured he could use a backup to do things like search for keys while he basically carried R from place to place.

The Lincoln eventually appeared. It was weird. It was like having a limo driver, and we were the pimped out wasted hip hop stars in the back. D knew the block R lived on but not exactly where. The whole ride to R’s apartment R was like “I’m so f-ing DRNNNNKKKKKKKKKK….. whrssss my bedttt…… I just want to shleeeeppp…. Whass…. Wherrr……” Etc.

We’re like “Dude, where do you live?” Or course he didn’t know. He basically flies out of the car and is, like, flinging his body all over the street and onto people. I can’t even explain this – you know what I mean, though. Like when you’re drunk and the earth will shift and you’re unprepared. Like he took a light step and violently ran four steps in the direction opposite the original step and crashed into a brick wall. And then after crashing into the wall, recoiled and crashed into some people. And all the while D is trying to pull him up. Awshummmmm…..

He told us the number of his building, but it wasn’t actually his building. Finally he located the right one, but didn’t remember what number unit he was. Then he remembered he lived on the fourth floor, but D and I were too drunk to count and just had no idea what was going on. Luckily R was with it enough to identify his door. Then he couldn’t find the keys. Then I was like “Wait! That’s why I’m here!” so I had to go through all of his things to find the keys. Awkward. And then there were millions of them. And two locks on the door.

Yeah.

And then I spent the night worrying that R had drowned in his own vomit and that my new lab best friend was dead and it was all my fault.

But he is here today. Albeit in a very dysfunctional state. D and I are going to make R get us tickets to the newly added Pixies show to make up for this.

After the drop off, D came back to the loft to check out the infamous big white building. He was very jealous and rode one of Roommate’s bikes around in the apartment after playing some piano. Then we went out with Canadian Jon for a drink, but neither of us drank because, well, we really didn’t need to anymore.

And now I am here.

The commute this morning was great! because there was nothing to hold on to and I was hungover and it was really. fun. trying to balance myself. It was one of those weird instances where the train is not crowded but for whatever reason people suck and don’t let short people have access to any of the bars, so I couldn’t even support myself in the mass of bodies.

Now I need lunch. And some advils. Advils are awshummmmm.

Three Cosmos and a Forkful of Mac and Cheese - Part 1

Last night was my company’s semi-annual drinkfest. It was held at a bar a block away from where we work. It was very New York – loungy, white furry walls, pink lighting, mirrors, sheets draped from the ceiling.

I think that it was, most likely, the most surreal night of my entire life. Every now and then, between sips of Cosmo, I’d think “Wait – where am I? Who are these people? What’s going on?” and then I’d have another sip and everything was fine.

It started at 5:30. I headed over with my new friend R. He’s cool. I really like him. He’s into photography and guitar and songwriting and show-going and does science for a day job. He’s one of those people who make me feel honest.

In there, I mostly clung to R and other people I already know, and met a few new people, which I will get to in a few paragraphs.

By 7:00 I was trashed and was dancing with a bunch of people I didn’t know. We were frantically moving lounge furniture out of the way to make space. It was awesome.

By 8:30, the party had turned into a raging hip hop / reggae dance party and I was blissed out. Again, every now and then I’d be dancing with someone and I’d think “Wait – who is this guy? What department does he work in? Have I already forgotten his name? Wait – I’m in New York City dancing to hip hop with my new coworkers!”

But it was good because I was drunk and could be like “Hey, dude, I know I’ve met you 40 times, but what’s your name again?” and that’s endearing to people when you (and they) are drunk.

I think I may have been Insane-New-Girl at the party, but I think that’s what needed to occur. Needed to show my true colors. Figure out who I might click with when I’m actually being myself instead of being my suspicious, overwhelmed, underimpressed science self.

One of the coolest things about this party was, pardon the cheesy use of the word, diversity. Definitely a more diverse crowd in NYC. And therefore a, ahem, better dancing crowd. I’m used to being a minority in science, but this was different. It was nice to see different colors and different personalities and, well, personalities.

There’s this one dude who works in legal – I finally asked him his name and said “Dude, I know I met you on my first day and also again tonight, but in my mind I can’t stop calling you Lord of the Lab Notebooks.” So H (his name starts with H and his actual name is very very very unfortunate and not at all indicative of his personality) rocks because at work he is all uptight, shirt tucked in, hair perfect, glasses-wearing legal person. Last night, he removed his glasses, unbuttoned his shirt, mussed up his hair, and just let loose. H is an amazing dancer. The women were rabid. He said to me “You’re good.” And then he pointed to me and said to other people “She’s good. It’s about time someone’s good.” That made me smile. I need to go dancing more often.

I also met this guy, J, who was a riot. He is a recent (and obvious) transplant from CA and kept calling me “Laura.” I wanted to be like “I’m sorry, my name is Leah, but you can call me ‘Val.’” Anyway, J was all wide-eyed and thrilled about NYC, and I said “But aren’t you freaking out?” And he was like “No, man, no. This is all divine intervention. Everything’s working for me. I moved here not knowing anyone, and the first day I started I walked out onto the sidewalk and turns out my best friend from high school, who I hadn’t seen in a decade, works in the building next door. And then my mother was reading the New York Times and said ‘Your high school sweetheart is getting married in NY! She’s in NY!’” Then he’s like “There’s so much here. So much to do, to see. Every morning I want to roll the dice.”
I’m like “Roll the dice?”

And he’s like “Yeah, man, I have this girlfriend in CA, but man, there are SO MANY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN NEW YORK I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

I’m like “Dude, I just met you, and I don’t know anything about you or your situation, but my advice is to, well, go enjoy NY and its beautiful women.”

I said this partially because I was drunk and was like “This man is beautiful.” Heh. But also because I meant it. I feel like moving to NY is like going to college – like you don’t want to come here with anything, because if you do, you might not be able to take full advantage. Earlier in the evening, R said “Did you leave anyone behind in Boston?” and I was like “No, I don’t date effectively, and I wouldn’t do this unless I literally had nothing to lose.”

Then J is like “I can’t believe you’re from Boston.” “Why ever would you say that?” “I’ve seen you around – and when I saw you, I thought ‘That girl is so New York.’ Just the way you dress, and your vibe. Or CA. I could see you on your skateboard and then mixing music at night.” That made me happy. I am “so New York.”

And the reason I mention this conversation at all, really, is because of the following exchange. We were talking about my boss (this guy actually saw my resume and was apparently desperate to hire me, and I’m saddened about the timing of it all, because it would be very very fun to work with him) and this guy also made me honest so I said “I feel like I might be a bit much for him. Like he’s so cute and old and conservative and I’m, well, me” and J said “If you just be 100% you this company will be an infinitely better company.”

That will be in the movie too. J will be played by Jude Law (he doesn’t look like Jude Law but in the movie version I think Jude Law would do a good job with this character) and in the movie we will have this conversation and then my character will be like “J, I like you. I’d like to continue this conversation. At my apartment in Williamsburg.”

When I was leaving he’s like “Where do you work?” “7th floor. Come visit.” And he’s like “Cool, then, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I’m like “Word.” And he’s like “Did you just exit by saying ‘word?’” and I’m like “Yeah, word.” “That’s a Boston thing?” “No, just me” and he’s like “My friend who’s doing his post-doc in Boston says ‘word’ too” and I was like “No, you apparently just know the only two people on the planet who say ‘word.’ Word.”

Word.

I Am The Only Person In the World Who This Has Happened To

In the neverending DirectTV / Cingular saga, I decided yesterday that instead of jumping the gun and immediately buying a new phone to rectify the sudden lack of cell phone reception in my apartment, I would make some phone calls from work to figure out what my options were.

Phone Call 1: called Cingular. The college kid on the phone thought my complaint was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. He believed me, though. He was joking with me and said that my cell phone was acting out because it wasn't getting as much attention anymore now that I have TV. He said they would send me a new phone in the mail, but then realized he couldn't because I've had my phone for over a year. Curses. He said "I will put you in touch with Samsung and see what they can do."

Phone Call 2: called Samsung. This guy was very helpful but hadn't heard of DirectTV interfering with a cell phone. He did understand, though, about how my phone runs interference with electronics on a regular basis and gave me some tips. He tried to change a setting on my phone, but couldn't because my phone was set up in such a way that made the change impossible. He suggested that I call DirectTV and ask them to put "a filter" on the incoming signal.

Phone call 3: called DirectTV. This guy was a bastard. He totally didn't believe me and kept saying, really slowly, "I've never heard of anyone having a problem with their cell phone because of DirectTV." I said "Look, I don't know if its really the problem, but I'm just wondering if you can put a filter on the signal." He said he'd never heard of filters, and basically told me I was an idiot. The only useful thing he said was "Have you unplugged the receiver to see if you get signal?"

Uhhh.... no.

Hadn't done that. It had occurred to me to do that over the weekend, but I didn't because (a) I was concerned that unhooking the receiver would somehow obliterate DirectTV and given the drama it took to install it I didn't want to risk it and (b) I completely forgot.

Last night when I got home from work I unplugged the DirectTV receiver and instantly had 5 bars on my phone. Wtf? Granted, reception in the apartment wasn't as good as it was before, but unplugging it did have an affect on my phone.

So now I am torn, because I think my only option is to unplug the receiver whenever I want to use my cell phone. The good news it that the landline is installed, so I can take calls on it. But I can't make calls on it, because we are cheap and don't have long distance. But I don't want to opt out of my Cingular contract (money I don't have! and a pain in ass) and I don't want to opt out of the DirectTV contract (money I don't have as well as scheduling and surviving another cable installation which I just don't want to do).

And I don't know if I should call DirectTV back and be like "Fyi - I did my experiment and lo and behold you're freaking receiver interferes with my cell phone, bastards!"

The Commute

I was running a bit late to work this morning anyway. Not for any particular reason. Just because I felt like sleeping an extra ten minutes.

Took the L to 6th Ave, as I do every day, and waited to transfer to the red 1 or red 9 downtown to Houston Street. Like I do every day.

The 1 and 9 arrive on the right side of the tracks. There's a 2 and 3, also red, that arrive on the left side of the tracks. I don't really know where the 2 or 3 go, I just know the 2 and 3 don't go to work.

So I'm waiting there and a 9 comes on the left side of the tracks. Very confusing. I thought "Well, its a 9, so it must be a 9 even though its not where the 9 usually arrives." I got on, as did a bunch of people. The doors didn't close for a while, and people started getting shifty and confused a bunch of people jumped off of the train before the doors closed.

So this 9 wasn't actually a 9. It was 2 or 3, because it went express to somewhere. I don't know where it went. I just know it went right by Houston. And then right by a bunch of stops after Houston. Many mini heart attacks were had.

I realized, though, that this was a very crafty thing for the MTA to do because:

What had happened, apparently, was a 9 train had stalled on the right side of the tracks after Houston, thus making it impossible for trains to travel on the right side of the tracks. I know this because we blew by the stalled train while I was on my train. Instead of announcing that there were no 1's or 9's anymore, they sent a 9 on another track so people would mistakenly get onto it, go express to the next available stop, and then be able to get off at that stop, cross over to the uptown direction and take a 1 or 9 on the tracks that were actually working.

Crafty, yes, but I was having a fit because I had no idea where I was going, how long it would take, how long it would take to get to work from wherever I was, would I even be able to get back, etc. I checked out the map and I was pretty far downtown, but it only took me about 5 minutes to get to work once I got on the 1 downtown. I did not call in late, however, because it wasn't my fault and I figure everyone was having the same problem. Right. No need to call in late two times in less than a week and a half.

Open Up Your Chest

Yes, M, you are right, because Jimmy is straight out of a movie.

In the movie version he is played by Morgan Freeman. He is smaller and older than Morgan Freeman, but he has that vibe. Think of a 5'7'' and thinner Morgan Freeman aging jazz musician talking really slowly and wisely kind of guy.

He just stopped by and said "How's the lonely?"

I told him I was feeling better because I'd gone to the movies, which was a normal activitiy for non-lonely people. I told him about Saun of the Dead, which obviously he hadn't heard of.

He said "Just what you need. Open up your chest and laugh a little."

Yes, Jimmy, yes.

He told me I was looking better today. When I asked him how he was doing, he said "I'm still here. Last night, I got out some food for dinner. Then, found myself a bag of potato chips and two tootsie rolls and that was my dinner."

Awesome.

I don't know who should play me in the movie, though. Hmm... things to think about.... but Ione Skye is going to play M. Or maybe Mary Louise Parker because I haven't seen Ione Skye anywhere lately.

Bollocks

Roommate and I went to the movies last night. We saw "Saun of the Dead." You all must see it. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. The first 1/3 of this movie is absolutely exquisite.

The previews included "Seed of Chucky," "Blade 3" (and I swear Parker Posey is in this - wtf?), some ghost movie with Michael Keaton, I forget what else. Something I wanted to see. My brain is so on overload right now.

But yes. "Saun of the Dead." Hilarious British Zombie Romantic Comedy. I wish I was British because then I'd be inherently interesting and witty and charming. It had its cheesy moments, but, again, brilliant idea and brilliant Act I.

The best thing about going to the movies was this: when it was over, I felt completely normal. For the first time since I moved here I feel like I live in NY! I pointed this out to Roommate, and she said "That is because we went to the movies, which is an activity people do where they live, and not when they're on vacation. " Good point.

OK. All of you must now run out at see "Saun of the Dead."

Metro Animal Story

Did anybody read this animal story in the Metro this morning?

Man mistakenly cuts off penis, dog eats it

Bucharest An elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said yesterday. It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him away at night. "I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu said. "I cut it... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Wrong on so many levels. So many. Ear plugs, sir. Ear plugs. No chicken-neck-cutting.

No, You Don't Know

So older-than-dirt Jimmy just came by and said "What's what? You look beaten down."

I said "I'm, well, I'm lonely."

He said "I get lonely myself at times. Then I just jump straight up into the next thing."

Yes, Jimmy, yes.

He explained to me that only 3/10 of his family remains, and that his father, mother, and a bunch of siblings all died one after the other. He told me that he never cried until this one day at church, not too long ago at a Mother's Day mass, the preacher was going on and on and on about mothers. Jimmy left the church in the middle of the sermon, went to his car, and started to cry in his car.

People came after him. People said "We know how you feel."

Jimmy said "No, you don't know. You don't know how I feel."

Then he said to me "But I know how you feel. I know how it feels to be lonely. You'll find the next thing soon."

Alphabet of Nations

They Might Be Giants is like an intravenous injection of HAPPY.

I think "Birdhouse in Your Soul" might be one of the best songs ever. Although, you can't jump to the entire song once you've, ahem, hit a certain, ahem, age. Such as 28. Oh well.

So M & A came to visit this weekend and we had a lovely time. It was so nice to have company and to actually interact with people. They brought me the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD as a housewarming gift, but, sadly, A determined that my DVD player/karaoke machine is, in fact, broken so I can't watch them. Sadness and weeping. Need to buy: DVD player, karaoke machine, couch, walls, coffee table, lamp, adaptors for power supply, new cell phone, friends.

We went to see They Might Be Giants at the Irving Plaza on Saturday night. I wore my fabulous new and truly outrageous Jem t-shirt that I bought in Soho on Friday night. M copied me and wore her hair in buns. We looked adorable and like we were 15 years old.

I was kind of nervous about it because I was afraid the show would make me feel old, but it didn't, because They Might Be Giants themselves are old and their fans are therefore old. If anything, I'd say we were average age there, if not on the younger side. I was thinking that it must be hard to be They Might Be Giants, because they have so many songs that span so many years to choose from for their set list. How could you ever decide?

Irving Plaza was ok. Sort of like Avalon only deeper and with $9 Captain and Coke. It was cool before the show because they played Spaceballs without sound. Not a good venu for the short, though. There are things about being short that are good - such as the fact that you can look cute in hoodies and sleep on trains easily because you can curl up. But when it comes to shows, as a short person you really just go to listen. M was very nice and told me what was going on onstage.

The show was good. Again, They Might Be Giants just make you happy happy happy! Being at the show reminded me of why I moved to NYC.

Yesterday we went out for brunch and then went furniture shopping in Williamsburg, where M & A found this very cool Chinese buffet thing and/or a vintage bar to buy for their new apartment. They didn't buy either because both items are expensive and they needed to think about it. But I am thrilled for them, because now they are dual income and can actually consider buying these sorts of things. While they were doing this I bought an ice cream from an ice cream truck for $1 and kept wishing I was rich. We also found this amazing used book store
(well, more of a kioske) around the corner from my apartment.

After they left I wanted to make phone calls, but couldn't for obvious reasons. I ended up recording a new song which I hope to have up this week if our phone works and we can then get internet. Roommate and I also watched "Desperate Housewives" which was actually pretty good. Terri Hatcher is obscenely hot. If I could look like anyone in the world, it might have to be Terri Hatcher. She's a good combination of hot/adorable. That show also has many people from "Melrose Place" - Kimberly plays this uptight and perfect housewife type and The Gay Guy plays someone's husband. I think this could be this year's guilty pleasure.

A good weekend. Now its back to reality. Hmph.

Cable TV

On Saturday morning we got cable.

The cable dude called at 8:30 and said he was on the way and would be there in half an hour.

At 9:30 he called and said he was lost. He wasn't actually lost. He, like my parents, had driven by my building multiple times not thinking people could conceivably live in it.

He called again because he couldn't find the door.

Then he didn't call and didn't turn up, so I called him and found out he'd taken the wrong elevator and was locked in a stairwell. Who knew you could be locked in a stairwell in my building?

We had a dish already outside our window, which was good because we couldn't have had access to the roof due to the fact that the management and superintendent of our building do not work on Saturdays. I thought to myself "This will be so easy! He will just plug in the receiver and we will have cable!" Then I thought to myself "Wait a second - nothing about NY is easy so of course there will be drama."

At first there didn't seem to be any drama. Things seemed relatively straightforward. The cable dude was taking his sweet time and being all chatty, though, because he was a Computer Engineering Major at UMass and was psyched that I too went to UMass! He was amazed! I couldn't understand why he was so excited, but then it occurred to me that I've lived in an area for so long where pretty much everyone went to UMass. He just couldn't get over it. He said "You must have some crazy stories" and I said "Not really - unless you consider stories about studying CRAZY!"

He plugged in the receiver, and of course, no signal. None. Nothing he could do. He unscrewed something on the dish which involved his hanging out of the window and swearing for about 15 minutes. He was clearly afraid of heights. I was afraid for him.

When unscrewing the whatever didn't work, he announced that he was going to his truck.

He returned a few minutes later and decided that "someone played with this dish" and that he would take it out and put it back. Fine. This, unfortunately, involved my help and therefore my hanging out the window. I thought I was going to die. It was kind of funny, and kind of fun, since I was actually socializing with someone. But I was seriously freaking out.

Eventually the cable got hooked up and that was that. But let the stick beating begin - when the cable dude was leaving, he was all "Can I call you?" Heh. I said he could, not because I want him to, but because I couldn't really say "no" because he had just undergone a ridiculous amount of stress to install cable in my apartment. Like potential-life-ending stress. Plus, he already has my number and knows where I live so I figured I'd keep in amicable.

The reason I tell this story, though, is because as soon as he turned on the receiver in my apartment my cell phone stopped working. Like it went from 6 bars to none, maybe one, sometimes the grey bars that allow only emergency phone calls. And when I have one bar, I can't actually make phone calls. Like it will drop the call as soon as it starts ringing. I am pissed. I don't know if its a total coincidence or if the cable signal is actually now interfering with my cell phone. I called my cell phone carrier and they "sent a program" to my phone that "might help."

Ergh.

Nothing in this city is easy!!!!

It was extremely frustrating because I was waiting for M & A to arrive, and had no way to talk to them since our land line doesn't work either. I had to leave the apartment and walk a few blocks to call them. Then, when I got back, my cell phone miraculously worked again. I was relieved until the following morning when, of course, it no longer worked. It didn't work at all yesterday. It doesn't work only in the apartment.

In other tragic news, the inputs to my fabulous power supply at work do not accept the leads from my fabulous gel box, so that sucks. I think they make adaptors, but what a pain! I can't seem to get anything right in this city!!!!