They said it would not be easy to find an apartment in NYC. I had no idea finding an apartment in NYC would be nothing like finding an apartment in Boston. Nothing. Different planets.
Rebecca and I headed down to the city this past weekend to look at places with my Future Roommate. We saw a total of three apartments – one was a 1 bedroom that could be converted into a small 2 bedroom (this is what they call a “convertible” apartment in NY lingo); one that had a shower in the kitchen and a bathroom that was basically a toilet and only a toilet (no windows, no sink) and didn’t really have two actual bedrooms; and one that was shaped like a donut. The realtor who was selling us the donut, Brian, had promised to show us three properties earlier in the week when I made the appointment, but when we showed up actually had nothing to show us. The donut was cool. It had potential. We threw down a security deposit on it and then thought better of it. I think we liked the idea of having a place more than the idea of this place in particular.
(Sidenote: Saw "Avenue Q" which was amazing - you should all see it - its like Sesame Street meets They Might Be Giants - relevant and brilliant!)
We headed back down yesterday by car to look at more places.
I woke up at 4:45 and met Future Roommate in Kendall Square at, gasp, 6 am. This means that I woke up FOUR HOURS EARLIER than I usually do. I was sick as a dog, and we were tired. We missed our exit off the Mass Pike, got back on, and then got on going the wrong way and therefore missed it again. We got into Williamsburg at around 11:30 and then headed into the city.
We were first met by Sam who was channeling Crispin Glover and who was wearing fabulous sunglasses with red lenses. He was ultra-cool, but was only able to show us a super-sterile place in the East Village. The apartment was AMAZING – glistening new, free utilities (including air conditioning!), gigantic, but more like a commune than a NY apartment with character. Later than day, Sam left me a voicemail apologizing for not showing us more places because we was dealing with "this pain in the ass who wanted a studio."
We were then blown off for our next appointment. Hmph.
Appointment Three was with Vic, a Russian who instantly fell in love with Future Roommate and who lied to us about only having first floor apartments when we told him we were sketched out by first floor apartments. He then called back and said, “Actually, I have an apartment on the second floor. And an apartment on the third floor. And an apartment on the fourth floor.”
Next was Sean, who we called spontaneously because Future Roommate liked his ads featuring Ninjas and seagulls. We met him at his apartment, where we were asked to remove our shoes so as not to damage the green-stained wood floor of his amazing loft. He showed us some raw loft space in Williamsburg that required walking up 75 million flights of stairs in 100 degree weather while I had a raging headache and massive congestion.
Then we met Brian again, who AGAIN really didn’t have anything to show us. We had tortured Brian the previous weekend so were quite amazed that he agreed to see us again. We think he has a love/hate thing with us. I really would have liked to have bought something from Brian just to prove we aren’t fickle, but whatever.
We then went back to Sean’s, where he showed us the view from the top of his building. We both sighed when we got up there. Exquisite. Hopefully he will invite us over so we can enjoy it in the future. This view was better than the view from atop Certain Someone’s apartment because you can see the water. Hmmmmmm.
He then took us to another loft space across from his, which houses male models and hopefully our future apartment!!!!! We both gasped when we walked into these lofts. They are AMAZING. I won’t go into it now so as not to jeopardize things.
We decided to talk things over before placing another hasty security deposit, so told Sean we’d talk about it over dinner. It was adorable because we were so excited about our new loft that we walked through the entirety of Williamsburg basically skipping and doing everything in our power not to do cartwheels and therefore walked by every restaurant. We finally ended up at a small Polish restaurant and decided to call Sean.
We had to go midtown to sign the paperwork. The three of us hopped the train and headed into the city. When we got there, Sean explained the following:
1. despite the fact that we are grownups we have to have a guarantor on our lease because we haven't started out new jobs yet
2. the guarantors have tomorrow and tomorrow only to get their paperwork together and have it notarized
3. our paperwork has to be in by tomorrow
4. we can't put a security deposit on it to take it off the market until we've met the landlord, so as far as we know, a bunch of other people could be meeting with the landlord tomorrow
5. we have to meet with the landlord tomorrow, godfather-style, to see if we are worth of living in his building
Not going to happen, because we don’t live in NY! And because there’s no way we can stay in NY the following day and start the paperwork rolling.
We decided that Future Roommate would stay and charm the landlord since she has more charisma than anyone you’ve ever met, and that I’d head back to Boston to get my share of the paperwork done and to feed my cells, because I still feel obligated to do work even though I only have a few days left.
While filling out the piles of paperwork, I checked the web.
No more Fung Wah buses until 11:30. Sketchy.
No more Peter Pan / Greyhound buses until the following day.
No more Amtrak until 3:30 am. Annoying.
I decided to fly. It was the only option. American Airlines had a 10:40 flight that put me in Boston at 11:30. Beautiful. I could take the T back and still get 7 hours of sleep before my dentist appointment. I left the office and realized I was right near the convention. Cops, people in camouflage, heavy artillery, and no cabs. None. No traffic. Just tons of republicans and armed people. Horrifying.
I walked for 20 blocks and finally caught a cab. I was delirious. I just wanted to die. I was so tired and so sick and so irritated about the whole notary thing. I took a cab to JFK that cost $45. I got to the American desk at about 9:15 and the 10:40 was FULL. I didn’t know what to do. I said “I am about to have a meltdown. I really don’t know what to do.” She said “You can take a Delta flight tomorrow at 6.” “Fine.” $230 later I had a ticket but nowhere to stay for the night since my cell phone wasn’t working so I couldn’t call Future Roommate or Certain Someone or anyone! $130 and a few tears later I had a distress room at the Radisson. Took the monorail to the convenience shuttle, the shuttle to the Radisson, got myself a courtesy toothbrush and passed out at about 10:30.
This morning I got up, again, at 4:30, jumped on a plane, got back to Somerville at about 7:45, went through piles of paperwork to find everything from W2s to bank statements to tax returns to offer letters to pay stubs, had plenty of time to get to the dentist but turned out my appointment was cancelled. Wtf?!??! So I went into work and I am still here and sick and tired and hoping Future Roommate’s meeting with the landlord went well.
If we don’t get this place I am seriously going to lose it.
