Three Cosmos and a Forkful of Mac and Cheese - Part 1

Last night was my company’s semi-annual drinkfest. It was held at a bar a block away from where we work. It was very New York – loungy, white furry walls, pink lighting, mirrors, sheets draped from the ceiling.

I think that it was, most likely, the most surreal night of my entire life. Every now and then, between sips of Cosmo, I’d think “Wait – where am I? Who are these people? What’s going on?” and then I’d have another sip and everything was fine.

It started at 5:30. I headed over with my new friend R. He’s cool. I really like him. He’s into photography and guitar and songwriting and show-going and does science for a day job. He’s one of those people who make me feel honest.

In there, I mostly clung to R and other people I already know, and met a few new people, which I will get to in a few paragraphs.

By 7:00 I was trashed and was dancing with a bunch of people I didn’t know. We were frantically moving lounge furniture out of the way to make space. It was awesome.

By 8:30, the party had turned into a raging hip hop / reggae dance party and I was blissed out. Again, every now and then I’d be dancing with someone and I’d think “Wait – who is this guy? What department does he work in? Have I already forgotten his name? Wait – I’m in New York City dancing to hip hop with my new coworkers!”

But it was good because I was drunk and could be like “Hey, dude, I know I’ve met you 40 times, but what’s your name again?” and that’s endearing to people when you (and they) are drunk.

I think I may have been Insane-New-Girl at the party, but I think that’s what needed to occur. Needed to show my true colors. Figure out who I might click with when I’m actually being myself instead of being my suspicious, overwhelmed, underimpressed science self.

One of the coolest things about this party was, pardon the cheesy use of the word, diversity. Definitely a more diverse crowd in NYC. And therefore a, ahem, better dancing crowd. I’m used to being a minority in science, but this was different. It was nice to see different colors and different personalities and, well, personalities.

There’s this one dude who works in legal – I finally asked him his name and said “Dude, I know I met you on my first day and also again tonight, but in my mind I can’t stop calling you Lord of the Lab Notebooks.” So H (his name starts with H and his actual name is very very very unfortunate and not at all indicative of his personality) rocks because at work he is all uptight, shirt tucked in, hair perfect, glasses-wearing legal person. Last night, he removed his glasses, unbuttoned his shirt, mussed up his hair, and just let loose. H is an amazing dancer. The women were rabid. He said to me “You’re good.” And then he pointed to me and said to other people “She’s good. It’s about time someone’s good.” That made me smile. I need to go dancing more often.

I also met this guy, J, who was a riot. He is a recent (and obvious) transplant from CA and kept calling me “Laura.” I wanted to be like “I’m sorry, my name is Leah, but you can call me ‘Val.’” Anyway, J was all wide-eyed and thrilled about NYC, and I said “But aren’t you freaking out?” And he was like “No, man, no. This is all divine intervention. Everything’s working for me. I moved here not knowing anyone, and the first day I started I walked out onto the sidewalk and turns out my best friend from high school, who I hadn’t seen in a decade, works in the building next door. And then my mother was reading the New York Times and said ‘Your high school sweetheart is getting married in NY! She’s in NY!’” Then he’s like “There’s so much here. So much to do, to see. Every morning I want to roll the dice.”
I’m like “Roll the dice?”

And he’s like “Yeah, man, I have this girlfriend in CA, but man, there are SO MANY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN NEW YORK I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

I’m like “Dude, I just met you, and I don’t know anything about you or your situation, but my advice is to, well, go enjoy NY and its beautiful women.”

I said this partially because I was drunk and was like “This man is beautiful.” Heh. But also because I meant it. I feel like moving to NY is like going to college – like you don’t want to come here with anything, because if you do, you might not be able to take full advantage. Earlier in the evening, R said “Did you leave anyone behind in Boston?” and I was like “No, I don’t date effectively, and I wouldn’t do this unless I literally had nothing to lose.”

Then J is like “I can’t believe you’re from Boston.” “Why ever would you say that?” “I’ve seen you around – and when I saw you, I thought ‘That girl is so New York.’ Just the way you dress, and your vibe. Or CA. I could see you on your skateboard and then mixing music at night.” That made me happy. I am “so New York.”

And the reason I mention this conversation at all, really, is because of the following exchange. We were talking about my boss (this guy actually saw my resume and was apparently desperate to hire me, and I’m saddened about the timing of it all, because it would be very very fun to work with him) and this guy also made me honest so I said “I feel like I might be a bit much for him. Like he’s so cute and old and conservative and I’m, well, me” and J said “If you just be 100% you this company will be an infinitely better company.”

That will be in the movie too. J will be played by Jude Law (he doesn’t look like Jude Law but in the movie version I think Jude Law would do a good job with this character) and in the movie we will have this conversation and then my character will be like “J, I like you. I’d like to continue this conversation. At my apartment in Williamsburg.”

When I was leaving he’s like “Where do you work?” “7th floor. Come visit.” And he’s like “Cool, then, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I’m like “Word.” And he’s like “Did you just exit by saying ‘word?’” and I’m like “Yeah, word.” “That’s a Boston thing?” “No, just me” and he’s like “My friend who’s doing his post-doc in Boston says ‘word’ too” and I was like “No, you apparently just know the only two people on the planet who say ‘word.’ Word.”

Word.