Wondering

I am wondering if $20 is too much to spend on a Phil Collins mousepad as a joke gift for a coworker. Is it? I think the funny is worth $20. But oh the things I could with $20. I just sold shelves via Craigslist last night for $20 and don't think that shelves are of the same worth as a Phil Collins mousepad.

I am also wondering if I am truly lame for having a favorite restaurant in the city that I go to all the time. There are no fewer than 18 zillion restaurants that I have yet to try yet I insist on eating the Latin Scramble for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and insist upon dragging out-of-town guests there. There's something to be said for being a regular. I know what's good (it's all good), I know what it will cost (cheap!), I know when to go to avoid crowds. I still, however, feel lame.

In addition, I am wondering why small free newspapers have to make news out of everything. For example, I read this morning that NYC is considering installing traffic lights that indicate to pedestrians how much time they have to walk across the street before they will be run down by a cab! Whoa! They have installed one in each of the five boroughs on a trial basis! That means that there are now five of them total in the entire city! How newsworthy! I am wondering, though, is it someone's job to stand there to see if pedestrians prefer the countdown to guessing and freaking out and nearly dying every time they cross the street? Is there someone standing on each side of the intersection with a survey asking pedestrians to rate their level of perceived safety? Will they install more of them only if nobody gets killed at these intersections? How long will the trials last? And why is this a big deal? Aren't these everywhere else in the world? I don't know. I'm pretty sure they're going to work.

I am obsessing over Yahoo Beta. I don't know how I ever lived without its tabs.

I am busily appreciating The Boss today and knocked on his office door to tell him so. I don't know what possessed me. Sometimes I am overcome with affection and feel the need to tell people. I also compulsively feel the need to make sure that awesome people feel awesome about themselves.

I am very excited about Borat and Volver.

I am excited to have learned that Gap online has pants for short people. Yes, readers, I shop at the Gap. But only for pants! Because of desperation! I'm not proud of this, but a girl needs pants.

I have straight hair today because I got up early so that I could have straight hair.

It's the weekend and I have no idea what's going on because this weekend's visitor isn't mine. Hopefully pants and Photo Expo and one or two movies and many good meals that may or may not involve Latin Scrambles.

I feel like I'm waiting for something but I'm not really sure what it is.

And on that note... I think I want to start my weekend.

Have wonderful days off, folks.

Blogging The Way I Used To Blog

Oh kids, am I emo.

There is something inherently sad about one's Boyfriend saying "I borrowed such-and-such CD from Female Friend! Do you want to hear it?" when you yourself own the CD. It is mainly sad that one and one's Boyfriend don't share a dialogue about such things, and that one's boyfriend and his Female Friend apparently do, and that one and one's Boyfriend apparently have something in common and don't even realize it because one and one's Boyfriend don't talk to each other about what one another is doing. "I have that CD," you say. "Oh." "It sucks," you say, because it really does and because you want to discredit Female Friend, even though you really like Female Friend, and actually admire her ability to elicit a reaction from your Boyfriend when you yourself can't.

I am making a new blog. He doesn't care. He doesn't ask. He never wants to hear the songs or inquire as to their progress. He asked if he could contribute a painting and to which I vindictively responded with "no" because he's not allowed to be part of it unless he's part of it. "That's not what it's about," I said, because that's not what it's about and it's not like he knows because he doesn't care.

We're all having trouble right now. Relationships are hard when things are falling apart and you need other things to be perfect in order for them to be worth it. You need men to be perfect to tolerate men at times like these. You need to feel loved and doted upon and respected when you learn that the person who made you doesn't feel these things for you. You need to have feelings returned because so many of your feelings throughout life haven't been reciprocated.

Big things are happening tomorrow. I'm trying not to think about them. I'm trying not to think about anything. I'm trying to relax. I'm trying not to have feelings or opinions about anything. When you feel like this the highs are so ridiculously high and the lows so terribly low. I drank a lot and said things I didn't mean to say but am glad that I did. I gushed with affection for new people and said "I want you to be my friends! Really, I do!" and we all smiled. I lashed out about the CD and got a lashing in return. I wasn't being personal but he was. I made a mistake but he doesn't care. I don't want to talk about it because I felt so good two hours ago and want to hold onto that because those are the feelings I need right now.

Blah.

I can't believe blog has become a vocabulary. It's a noun and a verb.

I'm going to go to bed early because I have to go to work early tomorrow.

Awshummmmm.

I have a feeling the weekend is going to suck, because I'll be being dragged around and I really don't want to be with things such as they are right now.

Until tomorrow, my dear little Pringles.

I Feel Guilty

I encountered weirdness on the subway this afternoon en route to a doctor's appointment.

On the platform just after letting myself through the turnstile, this guy on the other side said "Please open the door!"

"What?"

"Please open the door! He lost his rye!"

"What? I'm sorry?"

"He! He lost his rye, see?"

"What? I'm sorry I can't understand..."

There was a second man standing motionless and confused in the tunrstile (one of the floor-to-ceiling ones that cannot be jumped).

Ah! He lost his ride.

I think what was happening was that the first guy wanted me to push open the emergency door so that the second guy could get onto the train.

But.

How do I know that the second guy really lost his ride? And what does that even mean? What if it was a scam and he was trying to get through without paying? I do not support turnstile jumpers. In fact, I always want to fight people who sneak onto the train. Who do these people think they are? Nobody gets to ride for free! Not that I would actually fight, because obviously I would be detroyed and $2 for the MTA just isn't worth it.

Second of all, how do you lose your ride? Like was he not fast enough? Did he push the turnstile the wrong way?

Third of all, is it my responsibility to determine who does and does not ride the train?

And finally, there was no way I was going to push open the emergency door because it said "EMERGENCY EXIT PUSH TO OPEN ALARM WILL SOUND."

Wonder Years Moment: I am still freaked out about rollerskating (even though I've been having recurring dreams about rollerskating since I moved to NYC - tangent - I had a dream the other night that I was stung on the toe by a really small jellyfish and had to miss a Madonna concert because of it and Madonna was pissed) because circa first grade on a rollerskating field trip of some sort I skated out of control into the emergency door and the alarm sounded and everyone looked at me and started laughing.

I didn't want to be the loser who opens the emergency door. I didn't want everyone to look at me when the alarm went off. I didn't want to be responsible for forcing all of the MTA patrons to hear an alarm for the duration of their platform-waiting. No way!

Plus, I'm sure its against some sort of rule to open an emergency door when there's not an emergency.

Now. If I was D, I'd have thought "This door is not alarmed. I've never heard an alarm sound. It's no big deal." People with baby carriages must go through that door all the time, right? Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I think further down on the platform is a non-alarmed door. I should have suggested that to the guy, but I didn't think of it at the time.

Regardless...

I didn't open the door.

And how guilty I felt and still feel!

Seriously. I couldn't face the guy. I felt like such a jerk.

The first guy was begging me on behalf of the second guy. I said "Look, I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you! It says there's an alarm!" I walked away.

Then again, if the first guy was friends with the second guy, why didn't he just go through and open the emergency door?

I am still feeling bad about it, which is why I am blogging about it. I feel like I was a mean New Yorker, not helping this guy out. Who am I to determine what is right and wrong? Why am I protecting myself when someone just lost their precious $2 ride? Or did he? How did he?

I just don't know.

Yes, The Whole World Is in 3D But Still....

We went to see Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D last night to celebrate Halloween.

I kept wondering if there's anything at all dangerous about having goosebumps for an hour straight.

Oh how I love that movie. It's brilliant. Everything about it is perfect, and inspiring, because as a musical it is one of the best.

Yes, I felt like a bit of a loser being one of the only people sans costume in the entire city, but whatever. There are other things going on!

Such as the fact that I feel like death today. I can't keep my eyes open. I have difficulty with the time change, and so this might just be like jet lag. Whatever it is, it sucks. I may leave work early today to nap and then nap some more.

Such as the fact that there is nothing I've wanted more in the world than a lemon donut for the past few days. I fear that a donut might kill me, but since I already feel like death, why not? I may just have to buy one! And also a chocolate chip cookie. Right.

Such as the fact that I am emo. I am mainly emo on behalf of others, but I am emo too because I am close to these things and I should have opinions, even if I try desperately not to have them, and not think about things. These things are real.

Such as the fact that I don't have a band, and all of a sudden I really need one. How is it that I know fewer people here than I did in Boston who are musically inclined?

Such as the fact that I am socially strected too thin.

Such as the fact that I am trying to set up the new blog.

Such as the fact that I still have finished my art project from the weekend.

OK. I should be working so I can leave early.

Until tomorrow...

Blog Address Change

OK. It's official. As of Friday you can find My Mundane Life In Song at:

theelusivepringle.blogspot.com

My Mundane Life In Song will still exist, but it will only be music, for the time being.

Breaking In Is Hard To Do

Here are some good and bad things about the weekend:

The Good:
1. Rather than steal my wallet, a kind man on the street tapped me on the shoulder to inform me that my bag was open.
2. The Puffy Chair. I want to be a Duplass.
3. Clean clothes... and sheets!
4. Finishing a song that I love and getting positive feedback.
5. Breaking in Fluevogs.
6. Rain not actually raining.
7. Gael Garcia Bernal in Babel.
8. The wedding and club scene in Babel.
9. Thinking about characters over a frittata.
10. Barbie photo shoot.
11. Dreaming about lunch with Clive Owen and Jude Law.
12. An extra hour of sleep.
13. An art project accomplished!
14. Wandering aimlessly.
15. Wandering aimlessly and ending up at a musical.
16. Spontaneity!
17. Crying as soon as Try To Remember began, and realizing that I wasn’t the only one.
18. The author is in the musical! Oh my!
19. Dinner with NR.
20. A phone call to keep me company walking across the island.
21. Very very very exciting email received.
22. Practicing because maybe, maybe, maybe this can happen.
23. My own reunion and something to the effect of “I realized how empty things were before I met you. I wish I met you sooner, but not really, because then we probably would have broken up.”
24. Catching up because three days somehow feel like eternity.
25. Discussing how it is weird how three days somehow feel like eternity.
26. Feeling truly loved.
27. Feeling hope.
28. Smiling and staying up too late and not caring at all.

Here are some not-wonderful things about the weekend:

1. No plain paper towels. Why must they all have cornucopias on them?
2. I saw a preview for a movie involving yet another Culkin. There seems to be an endless supply of them for the world to mess up.
3. People not following through with a Craigslist purchase.
4. The Gap sucking (even moreso than usual) and changing their sizes such that I can no longer fit into even the smallest pair of pants they sell. Where am I supposed to get pants? I’m not complaining about being small. I am aware that it is far worse to be tall – you cannot make clothes bigger and it is relatively easy to make them smaller. But I would like, for once, to just find clothes that fit.
5. Subsequent body image issues and near-tears.
6. Breaking in Fluevogs. Stairs are not easy.
7. Feeling a bit aimless.
8. Feeling a bit lonely and therefore feeling a bit like a loser.
9. Gael Garcia Bernal in The King. The movie was raw torture. Not his fault, I still love him.
10. Parting ways with the Barbie McDonald’s.
11. Missing M's phone call.
12. Dreaming about being cheated on.
13. Being desperate in dream about lunch with Clive Owen and Jude Law and wanting Jude Law to notice me and not knowing how to get him to notice me because for some inexplicable reason the awesome leg warmers I was wearing in the dream were ineffective.
14. Portion of art project on the floor.
15. Exciting email causing induction of immediate ulcer and reevaluating of life.
16. Weekend not being long enough.

My Very First Photo Shoot

I had my first opportunity to be part of a photo shoot this weekend.

The models were great to work with. They were professional, cooperative, and, well, blonde. Not the types of people one would expect to find eating at McDonald's, but I guess they stay so thin due to purging.

Here are some of the results:



Heh. Awesome. I had a lot of free time this weekend.

And now I am so craving french fries from McDonald's. Not that I will have them, because as a former employee of McD's I tend to trip out just walking into one of them.

Rename The Blog Contest

OK kids. I don't know if anyone is still reading, but in case you are, I thought I'd notify you that for reasons that haven't quite been ironed out, the blog may have to change its name soon. If you check My Mundane Life In Song in the near future and the blog seems bizarre, do not fret! It will have been relocated.

I'm thinking of calling it The Elusive Pringle.

Unless, of course, YOU dear reader, have a better idea! I'm open to suggestions.

So unless you hear otherwise, the new blog will be found at theelusivepringle.blogspot.com if My Mundane Life In Song becomes different.