I Wish You Saw My Room With Stuff In It

Genre: Cheesy Piano Song
Date: 9.15.04

(for those of you have forgotten how to do this, please click on the green arrow in front of Audioblog and you will be able to hear the song in very poor quality)

Description:

Much much much to say about this song.

Aesthetically, I wanted this song to be very lethargic and wistful, which is how I felt during my last few days in MA. I was so exhausted, so sentimental yet so dull to everything around me. That is why the song is so slow paced. My thoughts were so many and so sluggish during that time period.

Second, this song is the sequel to Drone, which you might remember as track 7 from Lollybanger's very first EP, Plumb Forgot. It is its successor because its pretty much about the same scenario, only with the roles reversed.

Third, I'm not going to say too much about what this song is about because its fairly obvious (and private, even though I've written a song about it and put it out there for the world to hear). My theory (now that this particular scenario has played out in my life many, many times - I am such a pattern) is that when confronted with the idea of someone leaving your life forever or with the idea that things are changing between you and someone else forever or with the idea that you might have missed out on something before the change and now's your very last chance!, people do insane things. You can't think straight when confronted with the severity and permanence of someone disappearing from your life. You do desperate, bizarre, ill-advised things.

Fourth, I don't think that these things are always desperate, bizarre, or ill-advised. I think, more likely, they are done to distract you from the fact that you are leaving everything behind or that someone is leaving you behind. You don't think about repercussions. You can only think about "now" because "now" is all that remains between you and that person.

Fifth, my last night at Hall Street was amazing fun and I will remember it crisply for the rest of my life. I will remember the subject matter of this song, as well as my darling roommates setting up a candle lit Chinese Food Vigil in the backyard, my sister and my LBF in Stah Mahket trying to find desserts that everyone could eat, MS stopping by and giving me a hug when I really needed it and telling me he was grateful to have gotten to know me, SM giving me a copy of Bjork's Medulla because he really wants me to like it, the piano movers showing up at 6:45 am and letting themselves into my apartment because I apparently drunkenly left the door open all night, sitting on my roommate's bed in the morning after an hour of sleep again feeling sentimental but sluggish while my roommates were being fabulously normal and cute as they cursed the fact that it was not a resident of Hall Street who christened the new shower curtain!

Hope you enjoy the song, and please let me know what you think. I am thrilled that there is music again. More to come soon....

Lyrics:

Is it only because I'm leaving and you no longer have to deal with me
All this time you've been wondering

I'm leaving tomorrow
I love you for taking my mind off of it

Is it only because I'm leaving and I no longer have to deal with it
All this time I've been curious

I'm leaving this morning
I love you for lying awake with me

No questions or consequences
We're just frantic to make up for lost time
We're manic and passionate

I'm leaving momentarily
Will I ever see you again?

Is it only because I'm leaving that we don't have to discuss what this is
I'd still like to know
And I'd still like to know you