Been away from blogging for a bit.
This is because I am working too much. I shouldn't complain - I am paid to work and not to blog or read other blogs, but I miss blogging and other blogs! Nevertheless...
Here are some things that have been happening:
I've been having lots of weird dreams, many about losing my job. Last night, however, I dreamt about a hockey game. Brad Pitt was on one of the teams.
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Magically I have stopped craving juice! The all-water beverage diet has become acceptable. I still, however, would give an arm for a cookie. Or a piece of candy. This world is cruel to people who aren't supposed to eat simple sugars. It's very difficult to eat out. I suppose this is all a blessing in disguise because it is clear that I will have to start bringing my lunch and will hence save money, although will be extremely uptight since I will have to eat with coworkers and will therefore be unable to relax at all during the day and more importantly will be unable to read. Why can't there be a quiet room anywhere? Even for the purpose of work! What if someone wants to read a paper in quiet? There is nowhere to go.
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The other night I had the unfortunate experience of wanting to cross the street while a garbage truck was emptying the city's public trash cans. One good thing about NYC is that there is a trash can on every street corner, so there's no excuse for trash on the ground. Except, of course, when the trash-man picks up the trash can and drops everything out of it, empties what remains into the garbage truck, and then puts the trash can back without picking up the mass of litter he dropped on the ground. I didn't pick it up because I was in a rush, but seriously. Shouldn't he have?
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As you know, many of my pet peeves involve elevator etiquette. I experienced a new one today. I got in, going down, on the 7th floor. There were 4 other people in the elevator. As soon as we started descending, one guy started frantically pressing "Door Open." I don't know why. The door was not going to open. And it wasn't going to open faster by pressing it repeatedly in advance. Maybe it would open fasted if he pressed it as soon as we got to the lobby, but why press it for the entire descent!?
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Working like an idiot. I have to try all of these new techniques and experiments and can't focus on any of them, which means they will all fail. There's no chance. I am having advance-stress about this. I am also unmotivated because of possible job loss. Why work like an idiot when there will be absolutely zero reward?
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We got to work on our own images last night in Photoshop class. This was a big waste of time for me, as most of the class is, as I could have been doing it at home, on the couch, which I don't get to sit on ever. Because we were working on our own images, people in the class started to be social for the first time. This one guy cornered the TA and they got to talking shop, and he said things like "They don't want to me to work in the city anymore. Do you understand what I'm saying? They don't want me to. I'm not supposed to be. Do you understand me? People will kill you in this industry. People want me dead, I'm not supposed to be working in this town. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Nope. Last time I checked being a photographer wasn't the same thing as being like a CIA operative or something.
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WC is coming into town this weekend so I will get to play tourist. He wants to see the Statue of Liberty and I have no idea how to do that. And I haven't had time to find out due to franticness at work.
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The Stills and Rogue Wave tonight in Hoboken! I mean The Stills and Rogue Wave tonight!!! In Hoboken.
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D is awesome and taped the National Spelling Bee for me last night while I was at work. He is even more awesome because he called as my class was ending to say "I wanted to come and meet you at class with your umbrella because its raining, but I can't find your umbrella. Call me if you know where it is and you want me to come and meet you." I adore him. Fortunately I had my umbrella with me, and fortunately one of the things I love to do in order to de-stress is walk in the rain, so I walked home in the rain without my umbrella and felt sane when I returned. We waited for the spelling bee to end, and then began watching the tape from the beginning. I fell in love with this 13-year-old boy named Michael Chrystie, and once he was out I lost interest. We kept watching for a bit but I had a headache so I decided to go to bed and watch the rest later, but I accidentally found out who won so now all the suspense is gone. I guess it doesn't matter, though, because I was already disappointed that Michael Chrystie didn't win. These kids are genuises. It's insane. They did this weird thing where the parents would sit on the stage waiting for the kids to go out, and when the kids went out they would walk over to their parents to be consoled and would stay with them for the rest of the bee, but there were no chairs for the kids! Weird.
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I haven't worked on the other blog either. Nor have I read or relaxed or really done anything I've set out to do since I got back from "vacation." Ugh. Next weekend. Next weekend I will be oh-so-productive and will feel good about things.
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Have good weekends, kids! Until next week...
Friday, June 02, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Long Weekend Too Short - The Photo Version
A photo from when D and I were playing "Let's drive around to see which house we would like to buy but never could because real estate here is ridiculously expensive." This is the view from the lawn of a new house (a group of lots, really) that is being built that we would like to live in:
The diner where, after much strife, I was allowed to eat a breakfast burrito:
The manufacturing plant with which we were obsessed:
One of the 70 or so photos taken while golfing miniature-style:
One of the many sculptures of eyes outside the art museum at Williams:
Another one:
Top of Mt. Greylock:
I liked this trail because it looked like an antibody: (yes, I am a dweeb)
Random field we found while lost:
I think this was the only time I was truly relaxed over the entire weekend. D and I were there completely alone, aside from the million catepillars that crawled all over us the moment we sat down.
The trail where we found the crying kid who was abandoned by his thug teenaged brother:
There are a million more but they are even more boring than these.
The diner where, after much strife, I was allowed to eat a breakfast burrito:
The manufacturing plant with which we were obsessed:
One of the 70 or so photos taken while golfing miniature-style:
One of the many sculptures of eyes outside the art museum at Williams:
Another one:
Top of Mt. Greylock:
I liked this trail because it looked like an antibody: (yes, I am a dweeb)
Random field we found while lost:
I think this was the only time I was truly relaxed over the entire weekend. D and I were there completely alone, aside from the million catepillars that crawled all over us the moment we sat down.
The trail where we found the crying kid who was abandoned by his thug teenaged brother:
There are a million more but they are even more boring than these.
Commute
He read Descartes on the train, cross for a reason he wasn't explaining because he is a man and won't talk. I'd been on to him all morning. "How's your back?" No response. "Is everything ok?" I attempted all manner of silly hand-holding techniques as we engaged in the rare and bizarre event of commuting together. Still nothing. "I'm tired," he said, though he couldn't possibly be tired after having slept eight hours.
At the morning seminar his mouth was downturned and he seemed un-him. It's so distressing to see his good nature disappeared. If he can be counted on for anything, he can be counted on to be happy regardless of what torture he has endured at the hands of others. I wrote him notes and drew him pictures, I even contemplated passing him a note folded into a triangle that said "Omigod! Did you see Adam and Jenny in the hall this morning? Can you believe her makeup? Steve looks like SO HOT today. I hope he sits near us at lunch" but then thought better of it because can you imagine if it went down middle-school style and the CSO confiscated my note and read it out loud to the company?
I can't stand his moods. And it's not that I can't stand them in the way that he can't stand my moods. He'd rather I just not have moods. He doesn't think my moods are justified. He doesn't think moods at all are justified. He thinks everyone should just always be happy. It's not that I don't like being around him when he's in a bad mood. If anything I like when he's in a bad mood because it reminds me that he is human.
I can't stand his moods because I don't want him to be unhappy. Ever. Whatever the cause, his mood is justified. Whatever bothers him should be stopped, not discounted. I wish he would tell me what the moods are about so that I can kill whatever it is that causes them.
After the seminar I worked frantically, hoping to get some work done before the next one. I saw him out of the corner of my eye going into another room, and decided not to say anything. "Do not ask him if everything's alright," I thought, reminding myself of how annoying it is to be asked that question when everything is, in fact, alright.
Two seconds later he appeared in front of me. "Hello," I said. "Hi!" he said. "What are you doing here? Do you need something?" I asked, suspicious of his presence in my workspace. "No, I just came to see you. I came to find you." "What's going on?"
Commence downloading of work-related stress and subsequent return of good-natured, happy, wonderful boyfriend who needed to talk to me.
Yes.
Of course I wanted to shake him and say "Why don't you always do this please please please please PLEASE?" And I wanted to hug him in the lab, but that would have been even worse than passing a note.
At the morning seminar his mouth was downturned and he seemed un-him. It's so distressing to see his good nature disappeared. If he can be counted on for anything, he can be counted on to be happy regardless of what torture he has endured at the hands of others. I wrote him notes and drew him pictures, I even contemplated passing him a note folded into a triangle that said "Omigod! Did you see Adam and Jenny in the hall this morning? Can you believe her makeup? Steve looks like SO HOT today. I hope he sits near us at lunch" but then thought better of it because can you imagine if it went down middle-school style and the CSO confiscated my note and read it out loud to the company?
I can't stand his moods. And it's not that I can't stand them in the way that he can't stand my moods. He'd rather I just not have moods. He doesn't think my moods are justified. He doesn't think moods at all are justified. He thinks everyone should just always be happy. It's not that I don't like being around him when he's in a bad mood. If anything I like when he's in a bad mood because it reminds me that he is human.
I can't stand his moods because I don't want him to be unhappy. Ever. Whatever the cause, his mood is justified. Whatever bothers him should be stopped, not discounted. I wish he would tell me what the moods are about so that I can kill whatever it is that causes them.
After the seminar I worked frantically, hoping to get some work done before the next one. I saw him out of the corner of my eye going into another room, and decided not to say anything. "Do not ask him if everything's alright," I thought, reminding myself of how annoying it is to be asked that question when everything is, in fact, alright.
Two seconds later he appeared in front of me. "Hello," I said. "Hi!" he said. "What are you doing here? Do you need something?" I asked, suspicious of his presence in my workspace. "No, I just came to see you. I came to find you." "What's going on?"
Commence downloading of work-related stress and subsequent return of good-natured, happy, wonderful boyfriend who needed to talk to me.
Yes.
Of course I wanted to shake him and say "Why don't you always do this please please please please PLEASE?" And I wanted to hug him in the lab, but that would have been even worse than passing a note.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Long Weekend Too Short - Part IV
- Woke up early in order to swim and go in the hot tub, but the weather was non-cooperative.
- Watched D devour all manner of pastries and chocolate muffins and juices and other continental breakfast items while suppressing overwhelming desire to cry and feel sorry for myself. I know it's not his fault. He can eat whatever he wants. But it is not easy, when starving, to watch someone (and everyone, really) consume consume consume without thought while you aren't able to eat anything. I wanted to leave, but instead sat quietly with him, not eating, while staring at the chocolate chip muffin. I don't think there's a way for him to be sensitive about this, and no, he should not have to suffer with me, but dear god this is not easy. It is easier now, though, after he offered later to come with me to the dietician in case I forget to ask certain questions and in case there is too much information for me to remember. It blows my mind when he is not completely oblvious, and I feel spoiled again.
- Almost threw a fit when we exited breakfast and the sun was shining, and there were 4 zillion kids swimming in the hot tub and all of the poolside chairs were taken by chatty tourists. D pressured me to swim, but I was all "Listen, I am so uptight right now and starving and just want out of this lame town with nothing to do so no I don't really want to go in the hot tub with screaming children and chatty tourists right now but you should." He did, and I bubble bathed again with my book until I almost passed out.
- Went to the Mass MoCA which was full of inaccessible art but at least it was something.
- Ate lunch at the Mass MoCA restaurant where I ate cheese and avocado and mistakenly drank a Guavatini and was drunk or recovering for the next few hours, craving carbs, and allowing myself a peanut butter cookie that helped for about 30 minutes and then ruined things for the rest of the day.
- Took scenic route to New Haven and how cute is old MA but there has to be a happy medium. I think real college towns are the happy medium. Ah, Northampton.
- Took train back from New Haven after D endured insane ordeal dropping off the car, but that's his story. Slept for most of the train ride after finishing Max Tivoli in tears.
- Put cheese on bread and ate it for dinner as there was no food and no motivation to procure it. Went to bed at 10:30, stretched out on the bed as though it was king sized. How quickly we get used to things. Woke up at around 4:00, sweating, consulted my clock and sighed when I saw that it was 82 degrees in the bedroom.
- Dreamt of putting together some party/meeting with hostile attendants.
- Woke feeling actually rested but not exactly relaxed. Ugh. No concrete vacation to look forward to. Rumors of Spain/England but I'll be amazed if the two of us pull this off. I hate being an uptight New Yorker who requires escape to unwind. I wonder if I'd have been so uptight in western MA had I gone there two years ago as a Bostonian. I feel like NYC has made me rather quick to experience moods and quick to resent anything that gets in the way of my being a serene individual. Would I have swum with a zillion tourists a few years ago? Yes, because swimming is swimming. Now nothing involving people has value, because my vacation was to get away from people. My vacation was to experience quiet. My vacation was to experience ease, something that was taken away by early-closing restaurants and teenagers abandoning little kids. Things were still a struggle on my vacation, and this is why I am still not relaxed.
- Looking forward to Labor Day.
- Watched D devour all manner of pastries and chocolate muffins and juices and other continental breakfast items while suppressing overwhelming desire to cry and feel sorry for myself. I know it's not his fault. He can eat whatever he wants. But it is not easy, when starving, to watch someone (and everyone, really) consume consume consume without thought while you aren't able to eat anything. I wanted to leave, but instead sat quietly with him, not eating, while staring at the chocolate chip muffin. I don't think there's a way for him to be sensitive about this, and no, he should not have to suffer with me, but dear god this is not easy. It is easier now, though, after he offered later to come with me to the dietician in case I forget to ask certain questions and in case there is too much information for me to remember. It blows my mind when he is not completely oblvious, and I feel spoiled again.
- Almost threw a fit when we exited breakfast and the sun was shining, and there were 4 zillion kids swimming in the hot tub and all of the poolside chairs were taken by chatty tourists. D pressured me to swim, but I was all "Listen, I am so uptight right now and starving and just want out of this lame town with nothing to do so no I don't really want to go in the hot tub with screaming children and chatty tourists right now but you should." He did, and I bubble bathed again with my book until I almost passed out.
- Went to the Mass MoCA which was full of inaccessible art but at least it was something.
- Ate lunch at the Mass MoCA restaurant where I ate cheese and avocado and mistakenly drank a Guavatini and was drunk or recovering for the next few hours, craving carbs, and allowing myself a peanut butter cookie that helped for about 30 minutes and then ruined things for the rest of the day.
- Took scenic route to New Haven and how cute is old MA but there has to be a happy medium. I think real college towns are the happy medium. Ah, Northampton.
- Took train back from New Haven after D endured insane ordeal dropping off the car, but that's his story. Slept for most of the train ride after finishing Max Tivoli in tears.
- Put cheese on bread and ate it for dinner as there was no food and no motivation to procure it. Went to bed at 10:30, stretched out on the bed as though it was king sized. How quickly we get used to things. Woke up at around 4:00, sweating, consulted my clock and sighed when I saw that it was 82 degrees in the bedroom.
- Dreamt of putting together some party/meeting with hostile attendants.
- Woke feeling actually rested but not exactly relaxed. Ugh. No concrete vacation to look forward to. Rumors of Spain/England but I'll be amazed if the two of us pull this off. I hate being an uptight New Yorker who requires escape to unwind. I wonder if I'd have been so uptight in western MA had I gone there two years ago as a Bostonian. I feel like NYC has made me rather quick to experience moods and quick to resent anything that gets in the way of my being a serene individual. Would I have swum with a zillion tourists a few years ago? Yes, because swimming is swimming. Now nothing involving people has value, because my vacation was to get away from people. My vacation was to experience quiet. My vacation was to experience ease, something that was taken away by early-closing restaurants and teenagers abandoning little kids. Things were still a struggle on my vacation, and this is why I am still not relaxed.
- Looking forward to Labor Day.
Long Weekend Too Short - Part III
- Awoke and headed to Mt. Greylock, the highest point in MA. Gorgeous. Serene. Too many people.
- Ate Indian food with tofu! Yes!
- Bought a Father's Day card even though I suck and don't know when Father's Day is.
- Went on a small hike to a waterfall but we didn't make it to the waterfall because there was a 5-year-old-kid by himself. I said "I'm worried about that kid," and followed him, although I wasn't too enthused about wading through a river with my camera anyway. It turned out that the 5-year-old was with his teenaged brother and his stupid friends, who just lost track of him. Dear god I almost lost my mind. Luckily there was a mother on the trail with her many kids and she ripped the kid a new one. Phew. I gave them dirty looks though, and asked D, who has weird ideas regarding non-discipline, if he would consider disciplining his child if his child ever thought such a thing acceptable.
- Headed back to the hotel where we didn't go in the hot tub because the hot tub was closed! Bastards!
- Decided, then, to go to an earlier showing of X-Men 3 after dinner. But oh! How do you get dinner on a Sunday in a sleep town? You don't! Because everything is closed! BASTARDS!!! We ended up being forced to eat at the Holiday Inn restaurant, which wasn't completely terrible but where they only have carbs on the menu. I got a grilled cheese that was spicey. Right.
- Saw X-Men 3, at a theater where people were instead seeing things like Poseidon and The DaVinci Code. I've decided that they were all seeing those other movies because they all saw X-Men the night it opened since clearly there is nothing else to do. Enjoyed the movie despite the absurd science, gratuitous mutants, lame dialogue, and nonsensical occurances.
- Ran into the stupid kids from the trail as we left the theater! The kept staring at us and possibly antagonizing us. We didn't know why. They kept saying things like "Oh, I love you" and "Oh, you're so beautiful" and just staring at us. D said "Were those kids antagonizing us?" "Yes." "Why?" "I have no idea. Maybe they picked up on the vibes that I wanted to kill them on the trail." "I don't think so. They didn't seem mad at us." "Maybe they recognize us as not-from-around-here and are intrigued and have crushes on us. Because we're thin. And different." "Yes, I think that's it," he said, in all seriousness. I felt old and uptight and wanted to leave for NYC immediately.
- I also felt awful from the sandwich and said "Do you mind if we stop by the supermarket to get something to eat?" Silly me, because it was CLOSED. And so was everything else. We drove all the way back to the theater to stop by a gas station, where I bought nuts which didn't help because it was a lost cause by that point.
- Went back to the hotel, put on bathing suit and robe again, only to find that the hot tub was closed, STILL.
- Ate Indian food with tofu! Yes!
- Bought a Father's Day card even though I suck and don't know when Father's Day is.
- Went on a small hike to a waterfall but we didn't make it to the waterfall because there was a 5-year-old-kid by himself. I said "I'm worried about that kid," and followed him, although I wasn't too enthused about wading through a river with my camera anyway. It turned out that the 5-year-old was with his teenaged brother and his stupid friends, who just lost track of him. Dear god I almost lost my mind. Luckily there was a mother on the trail with her many kids and she ripped the kid a new one. Phew. I gave them dirty looks though, and asked D, who has weird ideas regarding non-discipline, if he would consider disciplining his child if his child ever thought such a thing acceptable.
- Headed back to the hotel where we didn't go in the hot tub because the hot tub was closed! Bastards!
- Decided, then, to go to an earlier showing of X-Men 3 after dinner. But oh! How do you get dinner on a Sunday in a sleep town? You don't! Because everything is closed! BASTARDS!!! We ended up being forced to eat at the Holiday Inn restaurant, which wasn't completely terrible but where they only have carbs on the menu. I got a grilled cheese that was spicey. Right.
- Saw X-Men 3, at a theater where people were instead seeing things like Poseidon and The DaVinci Code. I've decided that they were all seeing those other movies because they all saw X-Men the night it opened since clearly there is nothing else to do. Enjoyed the movie despite the absurd science, gratuitous mutants, lame dialogue, and nonsensical occurances.
- Ran into the stupid kids from the trail as we left the theater! The kept staring at us and possibly antagonizing us. We didn't know why. They kept saying things like "Oh, I love you" and "Oh, you're so beautiful" and just staring at us. D said "Were those kids antagonizing us?" "Yes." "Why?" "I have no idea. Maybe they picked up on the vibes that I wanted to kill them on the trail." "I don't think so. They didn't seem mad at us." "Maybe they recognize us as not-from-around-here and are intrigued and have crushes on us. Because we're thin. And different." "Yes, I think that's it," he said, in all seriousness. I felt old and uptight and wanted to leave for NYC immediately.
- I also felt awful from the sandwich and said "Do you mind if we stop by the supermarket to get something to eat?" Silly me, because it was CLOSED. And so was everything else. We drove all the way back to the theater to stop by a gas station, where I bought nuts which didn't help because it was a lost cause by that point.
- Went back to the hotel, put on bathing suit and robe again, only to find that the hot tub was closed, STILL.
Long Weekend Too Short - Part II
- Woke up and tried to arrange accupuncture for my ailing boyfriend, massage for our stressed out backs, some manner of waxing but came up empty as we did not plan ahead.
- Decided instead to head to a recommended diner that claimed to serve brunch but did not. Luckily they had a breakfast burrito that was available all day, but only by request and only noncommittally, as in "I'll have to check with the cook..." as though scrambled eggs are impossible to concoct at 1:00 pm.
- Stopped by a weird manufacturing plant of some sort that enticed us on our way to the diner but had to turn around as it was "private property."
- Engaged in a hilarious game of mini golf where I, for the first time in my life, was slightly better than D at something. He schools me at all manner of everything, from music to art to life in general but when he said "I suck at mini golf" he apparently meant it, because I suck at mini golf but still beat him by a substantial margin even after having hit my ball straight off the course. Bizarrely a girl at another hole managed to get an accidental hole in one on our hole. We shared a laugh. We had much fun.
- Stopped by an ice cream stand and ordered smalls (cheating, yes, but I was on vacation!) that were completely insurmountable. We had to throw away about 2/3 of the ice cream in order to get to our coveted cones. This solved the "Why is everyone here so obese?" mystery that had been plaguing us all day.
- Headed into Williamstown to go to The Williams Art Museum, which was utterly lovely and perfectly sized.
- Blazed back to the hotel because D wanted to floss.
- Headed into Northampton (unchanged, thank god, because I couldn't have taken it had it been altered!) and determined, again, that we want to live there but what on earth will we do for jobs?! Headed to Turn It Up, which D deemd "a bad record store," and then met up with M, A, and H for dinner at Spaghetti Freddy's, where there was mysteriously no wait and where the breadsticks remain miraculous. Seriously. Yes, the entire contents of my dinner were dietarily unacceptable but vacation! I suffered for it, but it was worth it.
- Back at the hotel we passed out after attempting, again, to watch Clive Owen.
- Decided instead to head to a recommended diner that claimed to serve brunch but did not. Luckily they had a breakfast burrito that was available all day, but only by request and only noncommittally, as in "I'll have to check with the cook..." as though scrambled eggs are impossible to concoct at 1:00 pm.
- Stopped by a weird manufacturing plant of some sort that enticed us on our way to the diner but had to turn around as it was "private property."
- Engaged in a hilarious game of mini golf where I, for the first time in my life, was slightly better than D at something. He schools me at all manner of everything, from music to art to life in general but when he said "I suck at mini golf" he apparently meant it, because I suck at mini golf but still beat him by a substantial margin even after having hit my ball straight off the course. Bizarrely a girl at another hole managed to get an accidental hole in one on our hole. We shared a laugh. We had much fun.
- Stopped by an ice cream stand and ordered smalls (cheating, yes, but I was on vacation!) that were completely insurmountable. We had to throw away about 2/3 of the ice cream in order to get to our coveted cones. This solved the "Why is everyone here so obese?" mystery that had been plaguing us all day.
- Headed into Williamstown to go to The Williams Art Museum, which was utterly lovely and perfectly sized.
- Blazed back to the hotel because D wanted to floss.
- Headed into Northampton (unchanged, thank god, because I couldn't have taken it had it been altered!) and determined, again, that we want to live there but what on earth will we do for jobs?! Headed to Turn It Up, which D deemd "a bad record store," and then met up with M, A, and H for dinner at Spaghetti Freddy's, where there was mysteriously no wait and where the breadsticks remain miraculous. Seriously. Yes, the entire contents of my dinner were dietarily unacceptable but vacation! I suffered for it, but it was worth it.
- Back at the hotel we passed out after attempting, again, to watch Clive Owen.
Long Weekend Too Short - Part I
Yes, it was too short. Far too short. I am not relaxed. There was not enough time. There is never enough time.
Although I bet there would be enough time if one lived in western MA where everything closes at 8 pm.
Vacation in review (photos forthcoming):
- Woke up too early on Friday in order to get train from Grand Central to New Haven. On the way out the door D accidentally clocked me in the face with his extremely heavy duffel bag. We took a cab to Grand Central because I am slow when carrying a bag that weighs 1/3 of my body. D walked ahead of me through Grand Central without noticing that I was lagging behind due to my heavy bag. It felt as though I was being dragged around. I finished reading The Voice on the train and started reading The Confessions of Max Tivoli, and oh! the guilty pleasure of a romance novel disguised as serious fiction.
- We picked up the car in New Haven and I decided that I don't want to live there. We stopped at a Mexican restaurant where I made my own burrito and became less bitchy after finally eating something. D suggested that we go to Amherst because he wants to know everything about me. I consented to the detour because it meant a lot to him, and because he said "But you said the best cookies ever are at UMass!" "Yes, I did," I said, "but I can't eat cookies anymore." "Not even the best cookies ever?" "Yes, you're right," I said, and we headed in the direction of Amherst. I hadn't counted onrevisiting a place I lived for four years not feeling at all like vacation.
- We drove through Hadley and I was mortified. Media Play is gone. Everything is gone, replaced by chains and big business and freaking Target and Best Buy and other businesses that have no business being in Hadley. The movie theater has changed. D said "It's because college students have more money now." "Fuckers," I said. We parked near Hasbrouke because it was raining. Lots. We ran around the construction surrounding the campus center and I practically skipped into The Blue Wall, where I was mortified to find that the bakery is gone! GONE! Entirely! "Maybe they're at The Hatch now?" I said. I ran through the arcade in The Student Union and The Hatch was closed! NOOOO!!!! I stopped at the table that was distributing caps and gowns and said "Look, this is a weird question, but anyway, I went here a million years ago and The Blue Wall had the best chocolate chip cookies in the world and... do you know if I can get them somewhere else? Like did they move the bakery?" She said they were still available, wrapped individually, in The Blue Wall deli section. Yes! We ran back and no, there weren't any. NOOOO!!!!
- D wanted to go into town to check out some bike shop after we drove by Orchard Hill. I was surprised to see D overwhelmed by something. "It's so big..." he said, losing his sense of direction. I stood out in the rain staring at Amherst while he stared at bikes. We went to Mystery Train together. D went to Food For Thought and whatever that other record store was next door. While he spent too much money on used CDs, I spent too much money on clothes at Zanna. I finally bought a pair of shorts (I haven't bought shorts in like 7 years - nobody looks good in shorts! nobody!). I chatted with the ladies behind the desk about my nostalgia for the town. "I'm happy you're still here," I said. "Everything is changing."
- D wanted food so we went to Antonio's but he was too overwhelmed, again. "Let's go to Amber Waves," I suggested. It was gone. I think I knew that, but I was hopeful. We ended up at some new Thai place that had decent enough noodles and what D claimed was the best Thai iced tea he had ever had. We went to Newbury Comics and then got back on the road.
- We got to the hotel at around 8:30. They had DVD's available, including a DVD of a fireplace. Heh. It seemed decent enough. The room was fabulous, the bathroom bigger than my former apartment, complete with tub and gigantic shower stall with verticle gigantic shower head. Delicious.
- Things took a turn for the worse when we learned that restaurants in the area stop seating at 9:00. I was starving, of course. They had given us chocolates but needless to say I couldn't eat those. D said "I'll go to the grocery store. What do you want?" "I don't know!" I said, "I can't eat anything anymore!" We went back and forth for about half an hour and finally I said "Why don't you just go and get something for yourself?" He did.
- I spent the next half an hour crying and feeling bad for myself, until I sat in the bathtub where I cried all of the hunger and craving out before D's return.
- D returned with a sub from Subway. "The supermarket, and everything else, is closed," he said. "Do you want me to get you a sub?" "No," I said, "Because I don't want to eat at a chain on vacation." He ate his sub while I read more of my guilty pleasure, trying not to focus on the food I wasn't eating.
- I was exhausted but couldn't sleep, because I kept thinking of the last one and how he'd searched the entire planet for calcium-less multivitamins and turned up one day with chewable gummy children's vitamins saying "You have to take these because I want you to be healthy and not have any kidney stones" and how I gave him such a big hug and how ridiculously spoiled I was before this and how in the past the bathtub was something very, very, very exciting and how I felt very pretty and very important. I snuck out into the rain and ended up reading in the lobby cottage until around 3:30 am, when D appeared and said he was "worried" and wanted to know what was going on and when I started to tell him he seemed disinterested. I consented to going back to bed if and only if we could watch our Clive Owen rental, which turned out to be boring and sleep-inducing, thankfully.
Although I bet there would be enough time if one lived in western MA where everything closes at 8 pm.
Vacation in review (photos forthcoming):
- Woke up too early on Friday in order to get train from Grand Central to New Haven. On the way out the door D accidentally clocked me in the face with his extremely heavy duffel bag. We took a cab to Grand Central because I am slow when carrying a bag that weighs 1/3 of my body. D walked ahead of me through Grand Central without noticing that I was lagging behind due to my heavy bag. It felt as though I was being dragged around. I finished reading The Voice on the train and started reading The Confessions of Max Tivoli, and oh! the guilty pleasure of a romance novel disguised as serious fiction.
- We picked up the car in New Haven and I decided that I don't want to live there. We stopped at a Mexican restaurant where I made my own burrito and became less bitchy after finally eating something. D suggested that we go to Amherst because he wants to know everything about me. I consented to the detour because it meant a lot to him, and because he said "But you said the best cookies ever are at UMass!" "Yes, I did," I said, "but I can't eat cookies anymore." "Not even the best cookies ever?" "Yes, you're right," I said, and we headed in the direction of Amherst. I hadn't counted onrevisiting a place I lived for four years not feeling at all like vacation.
- We drove through Hadley and I was mortified. Media Play is gone. Everything is gone, replaced by chains and big business and freaking Target and Best Buy and other businesses that have no business being in Hadley. The movie theater has changed. D said "It's because college students have more money now." "Fuckers," I said. We parked near Hasbrouke because it was raining. Lots. We ran around the construction surrounding the campus center and I practically skipped into The Blue Wall, where I was mortified to find that the bakery is gone! GONE! Entirely! "Maybe they're at The Hatch now?" I said. I ran through the arcade in The Student Union and The Hatch was closed! NOOOO!!!! I stopped at the table that was distributing caps and gowns and said "Look, this is a weird question, but anyway, I went here a million years ago and The Blue Wall had the best chocolate chip cookies in the world and... do you know if I can get them somewhere else? Like did they move the bakery?" She said they were still available, wrapped individually, in The Blue Wall deli section. Yes! We ran back and no, there weren't any. NOOOO!!!!
- D wanted to go into town to check out some bike shop after we drove by Orchard Hill. I was surprised to see D overwhelmed by something. "It's so big..." he said, losing his sense of direction. I stood out in the rain staring at Amherst while he stared at bikes. We went to Mystery Train together. D went to Food For Thought and whatever that other record store was next door. While he spent too much money on used CDs, I spent too much money on clothes at Zanna. I finally bought a pair of shorts (I haven't bought shorts in like 7 years - nobody looks good in shorts! nobody!). I chatted with the ladies behind the desk about my nostalgia for the town. "I'm happy you're still here," I said. "Everything is changing."
- D wanted food so we went to Antonio's but he was too overwhelmed, again. "Let's go to Amber Waves," I suggested. It was gone. I think I knew that, but I was hopeful. We ended up at some new Thai place that had decent enough noodles and what D claimed was the best Thai iced tea he had ever had. We went to Newbury Comics and then got back on the road.
- We got to the hotel at around 8:30. They had DVD's available, including a DVD of a fireplace. Heh. It seemed decent enough. The room was fabulous, the bathroom bigger than my former apartment, complete with tub and gigantic shower stall with verticle gigantic shower head. Delicious.
- Things took a turn for the worse when we learned that restaurants in the area stop seating at 9:00. I was starving, of course. They had given us chocolates but needless to say I couldn't eat those. D said "I'll go to the grocery store. What do you want?" "I don't know!" I said, "I can't eat anything anymore!" We went back and forth for about half an hour and finally I said "Why don't you just go and get something for yourself?" He did.
- I spent the next half an hour crying and feeling bad for myself, until I sat in the bathtub where I cried all of the hunger and craving out before D's return.
- D returned with a sub from Subway. "The supermarket, and everything else, is closed," he said. "Do you want me to get you a sub?" "No," I said, "Because I don't want to eat at a chain on vacation." He ate his sub while I read more of my guilty pleasure, trying not to focus on the food I wasn't eating.
- I was exhausted but couldn't sleep, because I kept thinking of the last one and how he'd searched the entire planet for calcium-less multivitamins and turned up one day with chewable gummy children's vitamins saying "You have to take these because I want you to be healthy and not have any kidney stones" and how I gave him such a big hug and how ridiculously spoiled I was before this and how in the past the bathtub was something very, very, very exciting and how I felt very pretty and very important. I snuck out into the rain and ended up reading in the lobby cottage until around 3:30 am, when D appeared and said he was "worried" and wanted to know what was going on and when I started to tell him he seemed disinterested. I consented to going back to bed if and only if we could watch our Clive Owen rental, which turned out to be boring and sleep-inducing, thankfully.
Humidity
I spent a great portion of my free time at work over the past month searching for the perfect alarm clock. I decided that I absolutely required, without compromise, an alarm clock with dual alarms and different sonic options for alarm that would also tell me the weather. After much investigation, I found an awesome one from Sony that looked like it met all of my criteria, but when I saw it in person I decided that it was too big.
I couldn't find an alarm clock that indicated the weather that was also cool.
I didn't know what to do.
D and I, while looking for curtains, found ourselves in this cool modern furniture type store in Hell's Kitchen. The store had an amazing collection of funky/darling alarm clocks, none of which met any of my criteria.
I ended up buying one anyway. It's awesome. It is white, modern, minimal, and doesn't light up unless you press a button. When you do press the button, the display alternates between a bunch of different colors, including purple. It's hypnotic. I love this clock.
It does not, however, have a dual alarm. Nor does it have options for alarm volume or alarm content. It doesn't even have a radio. But it is so cute to look at.
What it does have is an internal temperature sensor. It displays the temperature and humidity of the room that it's in. I instantly became obsessed, poking D to say "Can you believe it's 76 degrees in here?" or "It's down to 67! No wonder we need the blanket!" or "Whoa! 76% humidity inside? Is that possible?" I suggested collecting data and plotting quality of sleep vs. temperature. D is unimpressed, but is happy that I am happy.
The reason I mention any of this is because last night, with the air conditioner on, it was 81 degrees in my bedroom. This summer is going to be ugly.
I couldn't find an alarm clock that indicated the weather that was also cool.
I didn't know what to do.
D and I, while looking for curtains, found ourselves in this cool modern furniture type store in Hell's Kitchen. The store had an amazing collection of funky/darling alarm clocks, none of which met any of my criteria.
I ended up buying one anyway. It's awesome. It is white, modern, minimal, and doesn't light up unless you press a button. When you do press the button, the display alternates between a bunch of different colors, including purple. It's hypnotic. I love this clock.
It does not, however, have a dual alarm. Nor does it have options for alarm volume or alarm content. It doesn't even have a radio. But it is so cute to look at.
What it does have is an internal temperature sensor. It displays the temperature and humidity of the room that it's in. I instantly became obsessed, poking D to say "Can you believe it's 76 degrees in here?" or "It's down to 67! No wonder we need the blanket!" or "Whoa! 76% humidity inside? Is that possible?" I suggested collecting data and plotting quality of sleep vs. temperature. D is unimpressed, but is happy that I am happy.
The reason I mention any of this is because last night, with the air conditioner on, it was 81 degrees in my bedroom. This summer is going to be ugly.
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