I've just notified people about this blog. Now I am paranoid. This is how I felt when people heard "Plumb Forgot." It was cool, yes, but I felt like someone was reading my diary. (well, at least at the time most people gave me a $5 donation to read my diary) I guess songs about "I, Robot" aren't as traumatic as songs about having your heart walked all over by an evil, terrible, insensitive, narcissistic bastard (s), but still. I wonder if anyone will listen to these. We'll see. Hopefully My Mundane Life In Song will become a global phenomenon.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
It Is Cool When Tons of Robots Climb On Things
Genre: Waltz
Date: 7.16.04
Description:
Last weekend I went to see "I, Robot." You can't even begin to fathom how excited I was about this. Canadian Jon (aka "SuperFly") was in town and we went to see it. As far as I know, nobody in the theater was impregnated. This song is my review of "I, Robot." And I don't care what anyone says - it was fun and the robots looked cool. (WARNING: there is a SPOILER in the song! but you should listen to it anyway because the plot of the movie is really inconsequential)
Lyrics:
Will Smith is flexing his robotic arm
Will Smith is gratuitously showering
And placing products such as Converse
But I liked the movie anyway
Cuz robots rule
And it is cool
When tons of robots climb on things
And take over
The people who made them
What's with the robot detsroying that guy's house
And why the kid? Oh - Viki did it
And is Will Smith really flexing his robotic arm again?
Robots rule
And it is cool
When robots fight and robots feel
Despite bad one liners
And bad acting and a bad screenplay
"I, Robot" was fun anyway
I'll take a robot story anyway
But only if they revolt against people
Date: 7.16.04
Description:
Last weekend I went to see "I, Robot." You can't even begin to fathom how excited I was about this. Canadian Jon (aka "SuperFly") was in town and we went to see it. As far as I know, nobody in the theater was impregnated. This song is my review of "I, Robot." And I don't care what anyone says - it was fun and the robots looked cool. (WARNING: there is a SPOILER in the song! but you should listen to it anyway because the plot of the movie is really inconsequential)
Lyrics:
Will Smith is flexing his robotic arm
Will Smith is gratuitously showering
And placing products such as Converse
But I liked the movie anyway
Cuz robots rule
And it is cool
When tons of robots climb on things
And take over
The people who made them
What's with the robot detsroying that guy's house
And why the kid? Oh - Viki did it
And is Will Smith really flexing his robotic arm again?
Robots rule
And it is cool
When robots fight and robots feel
Despite bad one liners
And bad acting and a bad screenplay
"I, Robot" was fun anyway
I'll take a robot story anyway
But only if they revolt against people
Passport Song
Genre: 80s pop song
Date: 7.15.04
Description:
My friend Nancy has recently moved to Europe to be with her fabulous boyfriend who she met in South America. Very long story, the net of which is that she will soon be living in France. She invited me to visit, but I couldn't go right away because, sadly, I did not have a passport. I know, I know - sad but true. I've never been anywhere that requires a passport. It finally came in the mail last week (it was debateable whether or not it would come since I don't have a driver's license and a state-issued ID that looks exaclty like a driver's license but has no expiration date may not have been good enough to get a passport blah blah). The picture is ok - its not bad considering they wouldn't retake it and I'm so ridiculously unphotogenic. The only problem is that there's this ridiculous stray section of hair right over my face. THE HORROR. So now I have a passport, and with it comes all of this pressure to travel! Everyone's like "Where are you going to go?" So many options. I just don't know. I definitely want to go to France at some point soon. But I don't know where my life is headed, and I just can't commit.
Lyrics:
When I got home from work today I received a nice surprise
My long awaited passport has arrived
Until 2014 I can go anywhere I want
As a US citizen I'll plan vacations
Or most likely I won't
Cuz I have noone to go with
Egypt, France, Australia, Kenya
Anywhere I want well maybe not Cuba
The world is mine
Italy it's about time
But I probably won't go there
Cuz I have noone to share it with
My passport is a ticket to feel even more pathetic
Date: 7.15.04
Description:
My friend Nancy has recently moved to Europe to be with her fabulous boyfriend who she met in South America. Very long story, the net of which is that she will soon be living in France. She invited me to visit, but I couldn't go right away because, sadly, I did not have a passport. I know, I know - sad but true. I've never been anywhere that requires a passport. It finally came in the mail last week (it was debateable whether or not it would come since I don't have a driver's license and a state-issued ID that looks exaclty like a driver's license but has no expiration date may not have been good enough to get a passport blah blah). The picture is ok - its not bad considering they wouldn't retake it and I'm so ridiculously unphotogenic. The only problem is that there's this ridiculous stray section of hair right over my face. THE HORROR. So now I have a passport, and with it comes all of this pressure to travel! Everyone's like "Where are you going to go?" So many options. I just don't know. I definitely want to go to France at some point soon. But I don't know where my life is headed, and I just can't commit.
Lyrics:
When I got home from work today I received a nice surprise
My long awaited passport has arrived
Until 2014 I can go anywhere I want
As a US citizen I'll plan vacations
Or most likely I won't
Cuz I have noone to go with
Egypt, France, Australia, Kenya
Anywhere I want well maybe not Cuba
The world is mine
Italy it's about time
But I probably won't go there
Cuz I have noone to share it with
My passport is a ticket to feel even more pathetic
The Only Love Song I've Ever Written
Genre: Pop Ballad
Date: 5.15.2004
Description:
When Rebecca and I went to New York City back in May, we were hoping to meet some fabulous, good looking city style sugar daddies. We didn't meet any sugar daddies, but we found something much better ....
Lyrics:
Three times ago in New York City
I fell madly in love
Oh Benicio! where have you been all my life?
Oh Benicio! you're the best I've ever had
There's no error and no confusion
We're always on the same page
I trust you, I love you, I want you every day
Oh Benicio
You're not the same color, texture, or planetary origin
As anything I've known before
Which gives you such an advantage over all men
You sing such lovely songs
You never do anything wrong
It's easy with you, you know what to do
You're there whenever I need you
I can't wait to get you alone
If only my roommates weren't at home
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you
Oh Benicio
I wish every girl could be just as lucky as me
And render men obsolete
Date: 5.15.2004
Description:
When Rebecca and I went to New York City back in May, we were hoping to meet some fabulous, good looking city style sugar daddies. We didn't meet any sugar daddies, but we found something much better ....
Lyrics:
Three times ago in New York City
I fell madly in love
Oh Benicio! where have you been all my life?
Oh Benicio! you're the best I've ever had
There's no error and no confusion
We're always on the same page
I trust you, I love you, I want you every day
Oh Benicio
You're not the same color, texture, or planetary origin
As anything I've known before
Which gives you such an advantage over all men
You sing such lovely songs
You never do anything wrong
It's easy with you, you know what to do
You're there whenever I need you
I can't wait to get you alone
If only my roommates weren't at home
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you
Oh Benicio
I wish every girl could be just as lucky as me
And render men obsolete
Mermaid Parade
Genre: Emo
Date: 6.26.04
Description:
Those of you who know me know that I love going to psychics. Not because I believe them, but more because its kind of like therapy. I've been wanting to write a song about going to a psychic for a long time. This song kind of sucks - I hate the arrangement, it's extremely melodramatic, but I'm putting it up anyway because this psychic I went to really freaked me out and ruined my day. But it felt good anyway.
Lyrics:
Time warp, hot dogs, Coney Island's in full force
Mermaids, bullets of paint and a fortune teller in full garb
I'll have her read my cards
She said "My dear, I can see you've been unlucky
So much pain, you poor poor thing
But my dear, you've had opportunities
You can't hold onto things
You don't let anyone know you
There are nice things for people to know...
"The one you're with now, it's in limbo,
he's not the one, just so you know
In 2005, the one will arrive,
and it will be for life...
"You thought you find your soulmate, pain pain pain
There's a woman who's wishing you pain pain pain
Your karma - it's bad
You resent your dad
You hate your career
You're searching, you're hoping to find yourself here...
"My dear, so much to fix
My dear, my dear, it will get better than this."
It was so fucked up how well she knew me
It felt so good to have somebody know me
Date: 6.26.04
Description:
Those of you who know me know that I love going to psychics. Not because I believe them, but more because its kind of like therapy. I've been wanting to write a song about going to a psychic for a long time. This song kind of sucks - I hate the arrangement, it's extremely melodramatic, but I'm putting it up anyway because this psychic I went to really freaked me out and ruined my day. But it felt good anyway.
Lyrics:
Time warp, hot dogs, Coney Island's in full force
Mermaids, bullets of paint and a fortune teller in full garb
I'll have her read my cards
She said "My dear, I can see you've been unlucky
So much pain, you poor poor thing
But my dear, you've had opportunities
You can't hold onto things
You don't let anyone know you
There are nice things for people to know...
"The one you're with now, it's in limbo,
he's not the one, just so you know
In 2005, the one will arrive,
and it will be for life...
"You thought you find your soulmate, pain pain pain
There's a woman who's wishing you pain pain pain
Your karma - it's bad
You resent your dad
You hate your career
You're searching, you're hoping to find yourself here...
"My dear, so much to fix
My dear, my dear, it will get better than this."
It was so fucked up how well she knew me
It felt so good to have somebody know me
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Online Ink Blot Test
Genre: Waltz
Date: 7.15.04
Description:
Got a link for an ink blot test in my email and had a few minutes to kill, so I took the test. It was extraordinarily stressful. I had no idea what things looked like. I was, however, really happy with my results:
Leah, your subconscious mind is driven most byImagination
This means you have a deep desire to use innovativeideas to enhance your life and influence the worldaround you. This drive influences you far more thanyou may realize on a conscious level.
Your need to be innovative drives how you look at newopportunities and the kinds of experiences in life youchoose to have. On an unconscious level, the reasonyou may be so driven by imagination is your fear ofdestruction, the opposite of creation. When you areunable to create due to restrictions imposed by yourenvironment or even ones you unwittingly impose onyourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You mayfind these feelings of unease only get better when youfind another outlet for your imagination.
With such a strong creative orientation, you arewilling to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at anygiven time. The world is a fuller, richer placebecause you can contribute new ideas to anyexperience. Your natural curiosity inspires thosearound you and encourages them to come up with ideasthey wouldn't have thought of without your help.
Though your unconscious mind is driven most stronglyby Imagination, there is much more to who you are atyour core.
If you would like to take the test, here is the link:
http://web.tickle.com/tests/inkblot/result.jsp
Lyrics:
Online ink blot test
Animals, moods, insects
Testicles and breasts
Fairies having sex
Online ink blot test
Causing me no end of stress
Do I see the right things?
Masks, seahorses, anatomy
Reactions
Subconscious
Demons, butterflies and people
Anger, love, fear, and arousal
I'm done with my ink blot test
The results are in
I guess I did ok
My subconscious is driven by imagination
Date: 7.15.04
Description:
Got a link for an ink blot test in my email and had a few minutes to kill, so I took the test. It was extraordinarily stressful. I had no idea what things looked like. I was, however, really happy with my results:
Leah, your subconscious mind is driven most byImagination
This means you have a deep desire to use innovativeideas to enhance your life and influence the worldaround you. This drive influences you far more thanyou may realize on a conscious level.
Your need to be innovative drives how you look at newopportunities and the kinds of experiences in life youchoose to have. On an unconscious level, the reasonyou may be so driven by imagination is your fear ofdestruction, the opposite of creation. When you areunable to create due to restrictions imposed by yourenvironment or even ones you unwittingly impose onyourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You mayfind these feelings of unease only get better when youfind another outlet for your imagination.
With such a strong creative orientation, you arewilling to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at anygiven time. The world is a fuller, richer placebecause you can contribute new ideas to anyexperience. Your natural curiosity inspires thosearound you and encourages them to come up with ideasthey wouldn't have thought of without your help.
Though your unconscious mind is driven most stronglyby Imagination, there is much more to who you are atyour core.
If you would like to take the test, here is the link:
http://web.tickle.com/tests/inkblot/result.jsp
Lyrics:
Online ink blot test
Animals, moods, insects
Testicles and breasts
Fairies having sex
Online ink blot test
Causing me no end of stress
Do I see the right things?
Masks, seahorses, anatomy
Reactions
Subconscious
Demons, butterflies and people
Anger, love, fear, and arousal
I'm done with my ink blot test
The results are in
I guess I did ok
My subconscious is driven by imagination
It's Halloween and Only I Know
Genre: Dance!
Date: 7.9.04
Description:
So my friend Lisa just uprooted her entire life and took a job in Maryland. Good for her! She's totally starting over - doesn't know anyone down there, but she knows she needs change. I am extremely envious. Hopefully my similar plan will come into effect soon. At any rate, as part of her going away activities she decided we should all go to ManRay. I'd never been. I figured it's something you have to do, at least once. So I went. I was very nervous - like I wasn't sure I had the right thing to wear, wasn't sure the people there would be able to tell I was an imposter, wasn't sure if there would be bondage-related activities going on in the restrooms. My repressed-Catholic self was really showing its anxious tendencies that night! Rebecca was kind enough to accompany me, and we had fun applying very dark makeup to our eyes and wearing, eureeka!, wigs. I guess wigs are our fetish. Strangely enough, I realized at the club that I do indeed have a fetish - boys in skirts. Don't know why. It was an experience - interesting, but just not my scene.
Lyrics:
I am sitting on a velvet couch not wanting to dance
While everyone around me is in a rhythmic trance
And the girl sitting next to me is not wearing pants
Here you can be whoever you want to be
As long as you are dark and angsty
At the fetish club it's interesting but not at all fun
Here I am a tourist, my lips are too pink
Unisex bathrooms not sure what I think
Men in latex skirts and robot shirts
Medieval corsets, lace and capes
Dark makeup on pale faces
For me its an opportunity to wear the skanky outift that I'd never wear as me
And actually the girl with the spinal column tatoo is cool
It must have been painful
I guess pain is a fetish I really just don't get this
Consumed with envy
Jealous that they've all found where they fit
In my wig and leggings I sit
Watching them dance alone, blissfully
I am wishing wishing wishing for a hip hop club that doesn't require a uniform
Until then I'll be stuck wiping black from eyes for the rest of the time
At the fetish club there's a show
It's like its Halloween and
Only I know....
Date: 7.9.04
Description:
So my friend Lisa just uprooted her entire life and took a job in Maryland. Good for her! She's totally starting over - doesn't know anyone down there, but she knows she needs change. I am extremely envious. Hopefully my similar plan will come into effect soon. At any rate, as part of her going away activities she decided we should all go to ManRay. I'd never been. I figured it's something you have to do, at least once. So I went. I was very nervous - like I wasn't sure I had the right thing to wear, wasn't sure the people there would be able to tell I was an imposter, wasn't sure if there would be bondage-related activities going on in the restrooms. My repressed-Catholic self was really showing its anxious tendencies that night! Rebecca was kind enough to accompany me, and we had fun applying very dark makeup to our eyes and wearing, eureeka!, wigs. I guess wigs are our fetish. Strangely enough, I realized at the club that I do indeed have a fetish - boys in skirts. Don't know why. It was an experience - interesting, but just not my scene.
Lyrics:
I am sitting on a velvet couch not wanting to dance
While everyone around me is in a rhythmic trance
And the girl sitting next to me is not wearing pants
Here you can be whoever you want to be
As long as you are dark and angsty
At the fetish club it's interesting but not at all fun
Here I am a tourist, my lips are too pink
Unisex bathrooms not sure what I think
Men in latex skirts and robot shirts
Medieval corsets, lace and capes
Dark makeup on pale faces
For me its an opportunity to wear the skanky outift that I'd never wear as me
And actually the girl with the spinal column tatoo is cool
It must have been painful
I guess pain is a fetish I really just don't get this
Consumed with envy
Jealous that they've all found where they fit
In my wig and leggings I sit
Watching them dance alone, blissfully
I am wishing wishing wishing for a hip hop club that doesn't require a uniform
Until then I'll be stuck wiping black from eyes for the rest of the time
At the fetish club there's a show
It's like its Halloween and
Only I know....
Nuclear Football
Alternate Title: What I Learned Because The Stupid Boy Did Not Call
Genre: Musical
Date: 7.8.04
Description:
So two weeks ago a certain someone told me he'd call on a particular night and didn't. Because I am lame and wanted to talk to him, I stayed in that night. With nothing to do, I found myself watching The History Channel on which was a fabulous documentary about the nuclear football. Because I am a girl, I didn't know anything about this! I really thought there was a button somewhere, but no. There is a dude who follows the president at all times with a briefcase that has inside it the directions for declaring nuclear war! Crazy. Of course I am now obsessed and had to write a song.
Lyrics:
Oh nuclear football you have the power to kill us all
Pretending to be a briefcase you can destroy the entire human race
You were born during the Kennedy administration
To protect our beloved nation from the reddening threats of Communism
Oh communism!
Those were the days when we feared real actual missiles
Instead of fabricating ones
Weapons of mass convenience!
In you are some memos along with a phone
The president alone he will read the words
Then he can obliterate Earth if it seems like the right thing to do
He's carrying the codes with his Master Card
If you're the lucky guy who's sought to carry it
You sir should be ready to follow the president
Every single minute
But what happens to you?
When the president has interns to do
When Reagan was shot the hospital took his clothes
And with them your codes! Oh our nuclear woes
Elder Bush left you on the tennis court
Clinton lost your codes when he lost his wallet
The Soviets had one too it went missing during the coup
More like a laptop, more high tech than you!
But the scariest thing of all is that the only president
Who may have seen your documents in Dubya
Who read your contents to Dubya ("nuke-u-lar")
Nuclear football
Kerry save us all!
The only reason I know this at all is because that stupid boy didn't call!
Nuclear football nuclear football
Genre: Musical
Date: 7.8.04
Description:
So two weeks ago a certain someone told me he'd call on a particular night and didn't. Because I am lame and wanted to talk to him, I stayed in that night. With nothing to do, I found myself watching The History Channel on which was a fabulous documentary about the nuclear football. Because I am a girl, I didn't know anything about this! I really thought there was a button somewhere, but no. There is a dude who follows the president at all times with a briefcase that has inside it the directions for declaring nuclear war! Crazy. Of course I am now obsessed and had to write a song.
Lyrics:
Oh nuclear football you have the power to kill us all
Pretending to be a briefcase you can destroy the entire human race
You were born during the Kennedy administration
To protect our beloved nation from the reddening threats of Communism
Oh communism!
Those were the days when we feared real actual missiles
Instead of fabricating ones
Weapons of mass convenience!
In you are some memos along with a phone
The president alone he will read the words
Then he can obliterate Earth if it seems like the right thing to do
He's carrying the codes with his Master Card
If you're the lucky guy who's sought to carry it
You sir should be ready to follow the president
Every single minute
But what happens to you?
When the president has interns to do
When Reagan was shot the hospital took his clothes
And with them your codes! Oh our nuclear woes
Elder Bush left you on the tennis court
Clinton lost your codes when he lost his wallet
The Soviets had one too it went missing during the coup
More like a laptop, more high tech than you!
But the scariest thing of all is that the only president
Who may have seen your documents in Dubya
Who read your contents to Dubya ("nuke-u-lar")
Nuclear football
Kerry save us all!
The only reason I know this at all is because that stupid boy didn't call!
Nuclear football nuclear football
Brooklyn Bridge
Genre: Emo
Date: 6.26.04
Description:
This is a melodramatic piano number about the last time I was in New York City. Being there is great. New York is my muse right now. When I'm there, though, I really have no idea who I am. On this particular occasion, I was visiting with a boy and we weren't clicking. It's asking a lot to click with someone you barely know for an entire weekend, especially when I am displaced and living someone else's life for a few days. We went for pizza in Brooklyn and we discussed that we weren't clicking. Then he suggested we walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, which I was very excited about! I thought it was would amazing - nice, romantic, something I'd remember forever. It was amazing - the view was heaven and it wasn't at all scary. And I will remember it forever, because it was so beautiful, but also because I felt so alone up there with him. That's what this song is about.
Lyrics:
From Brooklyn to Manhattan you're three steps in front of me
I'd like to stand in the middle
I don't know which way I'm going
And I'm not sure that I care about anything other than the aching I feel
For you to look back, for you to notice me
Such a silly fantasy
But if I'm going to go there, I'll go there all the way
In it you could take my hand, you could look back and say
"I'm happy you're here in New York with me."
From Brooklyn to Manhattan you're three steps in front of me
You're always way in front of me
Date: 6.26.04
Description:
This is a melodramatic piano number about the last time I was in New York City. Being there is great. New York is my muse right now. When I'm there, though, I really have no idea who I am. On this particular occasion, I was visiting with a boy and we weren't clicking. It's asking a lot to click with someone you barely know for an entire weekend, especially when I am displaced and living someone else's life for a few days. We went for pizza in Brooklyn and we discussed that we weren't clicking. Then he suggested we walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, which I was very excited about! I thought it was would amazing - nice, romantic, something I'd remember forever. It was amazing - the view was heaven and it wasn't at all scary. And I will remember it forever, because it was so beautiful, but also because I felt so alone up there with him. That's what this song is about.
Lyrics:
From Brooklyn to Manhattan you're three steps in front of me
I'd like to stand in the middle
I don't know which way I'm going
And I'm not sure that I care about anything other than the aching I feel
For you to look back, for you to notice me
Such a silly fantasy
But if I'm going to go there, I'll go there all the way
In it you could take my hand, you could look back and say
"I'm happy you're here in New York with me."
From Brooklyn to Manhattan you're three steps in front of me
You're always way in front of me
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