I spent the morning in the ER with D.
I don't know what's going on. All I know is that watching the person you love suffer is worse than suffering yourself and that the unknown is fucking scary.
I also know that it is ridiculous that they show talk shows in the emergency room. While I was there, I watched agitated people on Jerry Springer kick the crap out of each other. I then watched the guests of Maury Povich cry and slip into fits of hysteria. I kept wishing they'd put on the fishtank channel. I think people in hospital waiting rooms need serenity, not violence.
I also know that I am now back at work trying to get eight hours of work done in four hours while D is still at the hospital just waiting around feeling fine and hoping to get a fabulous magnetic picture of his brain.
Oooh! He just called and is having an MRI at 9:00. I can't believe we got there at 11:00 am and he's just going to get it at 9:00 pm. There is something thrilling and adorable about our plan to have me smuggle food into him during visitor's hours, which go from 8:00 to 8:15 pm.
In spite of being tense and emo today, I laughed like an idiot at the following:
http://www.koreus.com/files/200408/lego_thriller.html
You have to watch the entire thing, or at least until the dance number about 2/3 of the way through.
Have a nice weekend.
I will try to enjoy mine and not indulge my ulcer.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Carnegie Hall
I thought my birthday plans were going to be, well, a fancy dinner. D had said "Not that you don't dress nicely, but you might want to dress a little more, well, nicely than you usually do on your birthday."
I was excited about but flustered by having to dress up for something mysterious. I didn't make it through my entire class on Tuesday night for many reasons, including three old ladies wearing fur coats who yelled at me for eating a bagel during the movie, my subsequent starvation, my desire to blog, and my nervousness about finding the perfect outfit for my mystery date the following night.
On the train en route to mystery destination I started getting nervous. I was sensing an elaborateness surrounding the plan, as D said "We might want to grab a snack - this could be a while," which suggested something with a finite duration, and therefore tickets. Tickets? Does he know me well enough to buy tickets to something?
We got off the train and started walking and it soon became apparent that we were going to, gasp, Carnegie Hall!!!!!!
I have romantic and nostalgic feelings surrounding Carnegie Hall that are due solely to the Chipmunks Christmas Special from 1981, in which Dave books Alvin to play a harmonica solo at Carnegie Hall.
http://www.chipmunks.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=39&osCsid=7052b986225e9ada0e39c40439095967
Carnegie Hall!
I was flipping out. First of all, I was at the Carnegie Hall!
Second of all, how is it conceivable that someone took the time to devise this plan for me? How did I get this lucky? How is this even possible? I kept saying "I can't believe this is my life!"
Third of all, we walked up three flights of stairs to our box!!! You sit in boxes at Carnegie Hall on red velvet covered red chairs.
The performance was of Contemporary American Composers, including the debut of a symphony by Danny Elfman. The piece was exquisite. I was holding my breath throughout all six movements. I actually felt relieved when it ended, because I was emotionally on edge the entire time.
The best news of all, however, is that Danny Elfman is busily composing an Edward Scissorhands ballet!
Following the performance, D took me for dinner at Grilled Cheese NYC, where we ate grilled cheeses and sweet potato fries and where I kicked his ass not once but twice at Connect Four.
Is it possible for him to be any more perfect?
This birthday date completely made up for all of the emo birthdays past.
Maybe 29 is going to be ok.
I was excited about but flustered by having to dress up for something mysterious. I didn't make it through my entire class on Tuesday night for many reasons, including three old ladies wearing fur coats who yelled at me for eating a bagel during the movie, my subsequent starvation, my desire to blog, and my nervousness about finding the perfect outfit for my mystery date the following night.
On the train en route to mystery destination I started getting nervous. I was sensing an elaborateness surrounding the plan, as D said "We might want to grab a snack - this could be a while," which suggested something with a finite duration, and therefore tickets. Tickets? Does he know me well enough to buy tickets to something?
We got off the train and started walking and it soon became apparent that we were going to, gasp, Carnegie Hall!!!!!!
I have romantic and nostalgic feelings surrounding Carnegie Hall that are due solely to the Chipmunks Christmas Special from 1981, in which Dave books Alvin to play a harmonica solo at Carnegie Hall.
http://www.chipmunks.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=39&osCsid=7052b986225e9ada0e39c40439095967
Carnegie Hall!
I was flipping out. First of all, I was at the Carnegie Hall!
Second of all, how is it conceivable that someone took the time to devise this plan for me? How did I get this lucky? How is this even possible? I kept saying "I can't believe this is my life!"
Third of all, we walked up three flights of stairs to our box!!! You sit in boxes at Carnegie Hall on red velvet covered red chairs.
The performance was of Contemporary American Composers, including the debut of a symphony by Danny Elfman. The piece was exquisite. I was holding my breath throughout all six movements. I actually felt relieved when it ended, because I was emotionally on edge the entire time.
The best news of all, however, is that Danny Elfman is busily composing an Edward Scissorhands ballet!
Following the performance, D took me for dinner at Grilled Cheese NYC, where we ate grilled cheeses and sweet potato fries and where I kicked his ass not once but twice at Connect Four.
Is it possible for him to be any more perfect?
This birthday date completely made up for all of the emo birthdays past.
Maybe 29 is going to be ok.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
My Mundane Life In Song Would Like To Welcome...
... a very special guest, RR.
I love when the blog hosts guest writers.
RR has summarized her feelings about our weekend karaoke experience as follows:
Leah's Birthday Karaoke Extravaganza
Hit Lists
High Light Performances
Male
D's heartfelt rendition of Roy Orbinson's Crying… I dare you not to cry!
Bench Buddy's Pearl Jam...would have made Eddie proud and was right on and just what we needed.
Female
Leah's Creep….She is too hard on herself folks.
Leah's Buffalo Stance... "What's he like? What's he like anyway?!"
RR's Easy
Duets
RR and D's Hungry Like the Wolf
Leah and RR's Live to Tell...oh Madonna you know our pain. Thank you.
D and N's True nicely done among chaos… it is hard to make the crazy look less crazy but you did it and N's "I know it's true Hoos" were awesome.
Leah and D's Flame.. I was there folks and need to get a fire extinguisher.
Duets that would have Rocked Brooklyn leaving them talking...had we been called up or Named Liz.....
Leah and RR's Milkshake...we can teach you but we will have to charge!
I love when the blog hosts guest writers.
RR has summarized her feelings about our weekend karaoke experience as follows:
Leah's Birthday Karaoke Extravaganza
Hit Lists
High Light Performances
Male
D's heartfelt rendition of Roy Orbinson's Crying… I dare you not to cry!
Bench Buddy's Pearl Jam...would have made Eddie proud and was right on and just what we needed.
Female
Leah's Creep….She is too hard on herself folks.
Leah's Buffalo Stance... "What's he like? What's he like anyway?!"
RR's Easy
Duets
RR and D's Hungry Like the Wolf
Leah and RR's Live to Tell...oh Madonna you know our pain. Thank you.
D and N's True nicely done among chaos… it is hard to make the crazy look less crazy but you did it and N's "I know it's true Hoos" were awesome.
Leah and D's Flame.. I was there folks and need to get a fire extinguisher.
Duets that would have Rocked Brooklyn leaving them talking...had we been called up or Named Liz.....
Leah and RR's Milkshake...we can teach you but we will have to charge!
29
Whoa. I just turned 29.
Yep.
Wow.
When I was a little kid I always thought people who were 30 were really, really old. I still feel like a kid. I haven't figured anything out. I suppose I have one more year to get everything in order.
Late-20's are almost over. When did that happen?
I need to figure things out.
But only after I celebrate my birthday in early-20's style.
I wish I could be a spastic drunk instead of an introspective one.
The photos from my birthday party are not as fun as I'd like them to be, but I will share them anyway. I didn't do a good job of documenting everything since I was, well, distracted.
We started off with a small gathering and karaoke in the apartment. Much gratitude towards RR and her fabulous MTV-brand-karaoke-machine with superfluous video camera. At first we feared the camera and didn't quite know what to make of the machine's capacity for live video. Our disdain quickly turned into awe and we were hooked. Please note the pink post-it collage on the wall, again, courtesy of RR. Nobody signed up. And, because neither of us are LBF, we couldn't come up with any suggestions for people. This didn't, however, stop people from singing. I don't have many photos of people singing because I was busy tending to mingling and other hostess-like activities during this portion of the party.
D baked this fabulous cake. It was orange, but not in honor of TheGates. It was delicious.
RR and I bought shark tatoos at the Folk Art Museum that afternoon. I was thrilled because a shark is actually one of my realistic tatoo options. We covered ourselves with tats and formed a gang. RR was Mama Shark, but she did not appear in photographs because as the Gang Leader she has to maintain an aura of mystery.
After everyone had gathered at The Loft, we headed out to Galapagos for some Sid and Buddy (well, I guess its now just Sid) karaoke. It was crowded when we got there so I knew there was no chance of getting to sing. I signed up for "Bandages" by Hot Hot Heat anyway. I challenged popular opinion that I should indicate that it was my birthday when I signed up, due to my not wanting to draw attention to myself. I hoped I'd get to sing but sadly I did not. But we still had fun. I think Bench Buddy had the most fun.
As usual, the people at Sid Karaoke were quite good. RR and I particularly enjoyed some girl's rendition of Fever.
The male sharks did as well.
D, who wasn't having the best time given his not feeling well and given my being drunk and full of drama, was about to leave when he was called up to sing "True" by Spandau Ballet. N joined him onstage, along with some woman who insisted on singing every single song. She was unbearable. D and N were, of course, adorable. This picture, however, is not.
Shortly after they sang we decided to leave, because RR and I were certain we, as The Sharks, might kill the woman who stole D and N's karaoke thunder. When we left Galapagos, there was a pristine coating of snow in the road. It is so rare to see snow so untouched. Immaculate. RR and N decided to make snow angels.
N's snow angel was very little and cute.
The Male Sharks copied them and made their own snow angels.
The girls tried to make snow sharks.
When I think of my 29th birthday party, I will think of walking back to The Loft in the snow behind everyone else. I felt like an observer instead of a participant. This is what my 29th birthday looked like.
29.
Whoa.
Yep.
Wow.
When I was a little kid I always thought people who were 30 were really, really old. I still feel like a kid. I haven't figured anything out. I suppose I have one more year to get everything in order.
Late-20's are almost over. When did that happen?
I need to figure things out.
But only after I celebrate my birthday in early-20's style.
I wish I could be a spastic drunk instead of an introspective one.
The photos from my birthday party are not as fun as I'd like them to be, but I will share them anyway. I didn't do a good job of documenting everything since I was, well, distracted.
We started off with a small gathering and karaoke in the apartment. Much gratitude towards RR and her fabulous MTV-brand-karaoke-machine with superfluous video camera. At first we feared the camera and didn't quite know what to make of the machine's capacity for live video. Our disdain quickly turned into awe and we were hooked. Please note the pink post-it collage on the wall, again, courtesy of RR. Nobody signed up. And, because neither of us are LBF, we couldn't come up with any suggestions for people. This didn't, however, stop people from singing. I don't have many photos of people singing because I was busy tending to mingling and other hostess-like activities during this portion of the party.
D baked this fabulous cake. It was orange, but not in honor of TheGates. It was delicious.
RR and I bought shark tatoos at the Folk Art Museum that afternoon. I was thrilled because a shark is actually one of my realistic tatoo options. We covered ourselves with tats and formed a gang. RR was Mama Shark, but she did not appear in photographs because as the Gang Leader she has to maintain an aura of mystery.
After everyone had gathered at The Loft, we headed out to Galapagos for some Sid and Buddy (well, I guess its now just Sid) karaoke. It was crowded when we got there so I knew there was no chance of getting to sing. I signed up for "Bandages" by Hot Hot Heat anyway. I challenged popular opinion that I should indicate that it was my birthday when I signed up, due to my not wanting to draw attention to myself. I hoped I'd get to sing but sadly I did not. But we still had fun. I think Bench Buddy had the most fun.
As usual, the people at Sid Karaoke were quite good. RR and I particularly enjoyed some girl's rendition of Fever.
The male sharks did as well.
D, who wasn't having the best time given his not feeling well and given my being drunk and full of drama, was about to leave when he was called up to sing "True" by Spandau Ballet. N joined him onstage, along with some woman who insisted on singing every single song. She was unbearable. D and N were, of course, adorable. This picture, however, is not.
Shortly after they sang we decided to leave, because RR and I were certain we, as The Sharks, might kill the woman who stole D and N's karaoke thunder. When we left Galapagos, there was a pristine coating of snow in the road. It is so rare to see snow so untouched. Immaculate. RR and N decided to make snow angels.
N's snow angel was very little and cute.
The Male Sharks copied them and made their own snow angels.
The girls tried to make snow sharks.
When I think of my 29th birthday party, I will think of walking back to The Loft in the snow behind everyone else. I felt like an observer instead of a participant. This is what my 29th birthday looked like.
29.
Whoa.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
TheGatesTheGatesTheGates.... Again
On Saturday, RR and I went to see TheGates.
This was my second time seeing TheGates. I warned RR about not getting her hopes up.
Maybe I just don't like orange.
Here are some pictures:
Picture of pictures of TheGates:
Some people and some gates:
Some more people and some more gates:
"I am contemplating the deeper meaning of The Gates....
"... and I have decided that The Gates are totally, like, the best thing EVER!"
RR has much better photos, which I will post whenever she gets a chance to send them to me.
I'll also have photos, most likely a plethora of panoramas, to post after my parents' visit this coming weekend.
After TheGates, RR and I tried to go to the MOMA but failed miserably because of the crowds. Mobs. Insanity. We went to the Folk Art Museum instead, where we fell in love with The Blue Exhibit. I had a Sal Moment during which I almost thought it acceptable to photograph something at the museum. In the Blue Exhibit, they had a collection of various blue pigments with which I fell in love. Luckily RR has a high tech camera phone, and managed to covertly take this for me:
We then headed back to The Loft where we mutually experienced pre-party anxiety. I am so glad she was there to maintain some degree of sanity as I went through the normal emotions of pre-party panic followed by "what to wear" trauma followed by inability to function for the hour prior to and after the start of the party.
My main concern with this function was quantity. Because nobody from work responded to my invitation, I had no idea if anyone was coming. None. How do you plan a function when you have zero concept of the amount of attendees? My estimate was approximately 10 people, which ended up being the case.
But of course I was having the following panic attacks:
1. What if nobody came? It wouldn't be the end of the world because I'd have fun with D and RR no matter what.
2. What if everybody came and there was not enough food or alcohol?
3. What if people came and nobody had fun?
4. What if people came and they all hated each other?
5. What if what if what if things culminated in my crying at my own party?
The only portion of the list that ended up being relevant was, sadly, number 5.
The party ended up being just the right mixture - too much alcohol plus not enough karaoke plus missing my girlfriends plus cock blocking plus vile and attention-needy girls plus patient boys plus feeling like an outcast and not feeling like a queen on one's birthday - for misdirected tears.
All I have to say is that I am so lucky to have such wonderful girls. I have decided that I don't need new friends, because I already have the most amazing friends in the world. I love that they calm and validate the tears and know just what to say, because they know me.
Man. I am so tired.
These entries are so incoherent. I haven't slept much over the past week. I'd intended to sleep tonight but the blog takes priority! I guess its fitting that the entries are all over the place, because so was the weekend.
This was my second time seeing TheGates. I warned RR about not getting her hopes up.
Maybe I just don't like orange.
Here are some pictures:
Picture of pictures of TheGates:
Some people and some gates:
Some more people and some more gates:
"I am contemplating the deeper meaning of The Gates....
"... and I have decided that The Gates are totally, like, the best thing EVER!"
RR has much better photos, which I will post whenever she gets a chance to send them to me.
I'll also have photos, most likely a plethora of panoramas, to post after my parents' visit this coming weekend.
After TheGates, RR and I tried to go to the MOMA but failed miserably because of the crowds. Mobs. Insanity. We went to the Folk Art Museum instead, where we fell in love with The Blue Exhibit. I had a Sal Moment during which I almost thought it acceptable to photograph something at the museum. In the Blue Exhibit, they had a collection of various blue pigments with which I fell in love. Luckily RR has a high tech camera phone, and managed to covertly take this for me:
We then headed back to The Loft where we mutually experienced pre-party anxiety. I am so glad she was there to maintain some degree of sanity as I went through the normal emotions of pre-party panic followed by "what to wear" trauma followed by inability to function for the hour prior to and after the start of the party.
My main concern with this function was quantity. Because nobody from work responded to my invitation, I had no idea if anyone was coming. None. How do you plan a function when you have zero concept of the amount of attendees? My estimate was approximately 10 people, which ended up being the case.
But of course I was having the following panic attacks:
1. What if nobody came? It wouldn't be the end of the world because I'd have fun with D and RR no matter what.
2. What if everybody came and there was not enough food or alcohol?
3. What if people came and nobody had fun?
4. What if people came and they all hated each other?
5. What if what if what if things culminated in my crying at my own party?
The only portion of the list that ended up being relevant was, sadly, number 5.
The party ended up being just the right mixture - too much alcohol plus not enough karaoke plus missing my girlfriends plus cock blocking plus vile and attention-needy girls plus patient boys plus feeling like an outcast and not feeling like a queen on one's birthday - for misdirected tears.
All I have to say is that I am so lucky to have such wonderful girls. I have decided that I don't need new friends, because I already have the most amazing friends in the world. I love that they calm and validate the tears and know just what to say, because they know me.
Man. I am so tired.
These entries are so incoherent. I haven't slept much over the past week. I'd intended to sleep tonight but the blog takes priority! I guess its fitting that the entries are all over the place, because so was the weekend.
Winds of Change
After the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, it was time for the karaoke party prequel!
D, RR and I travelled back to Williamsburg, where we enjoyed chocolate covered strawberries (and bananas!) courtesy of RR and got our karaoke on.
Roommate and her new Boy/Toy were at the Loft. They definitely thought we were nerds, but that didn't stop them from joining in.
In fact, Boy/Toy can really sing.
And, for the second time in one weekend, I sang Poison by Bel Biv Devoe.
And also Buffalo Stance.
And D and I performed a stunning duet of The Flame.
And RR and I kicked ass during La Isla Bonita:
And I learned that I should never ever sing Creep, no matter how well I think I can sing along with Thom Yorke.
We were exhausted, but that didn't stop RR from beautifully executing her own version of The Scorpion's Winds of Change:
Nothing stops karaoke!!!!! We won't stop! You can't stop us now!!!!
D, RR and I travelled back to Williamsburg, where we enjoyed chocolate covered strawberries (and bananas!) courtesy of RR and got our karaoke on.
Roommate and her new Boy/Toy were at the Loft. They definitely thought we were nerds, but that didn't stop them from joining in.
In fact, Boy/Toy can really sing.
And, for the second time in one weekend, I sang Poison by Bel Biv Devoe.
And also Buffalo Stance.
And D and I performed a stunning duet of The Flame.
And RR and I kicked ass during La Isla Bonita:
And I learned that I should never ever sing Creep, no matter how well I think I can sing along with Thom Yorke.
We were exhausted, but that didn't stop RR from beautifully executing her own version of The Scorpion's Winds of Change:
Nothing stops karaoke!!!!! We won't stop! You can't stop us now!!!!
A-W-K-W-A-R-D
My birthday weekend commenced on Saturday morning, when D and I woke up early and cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. For D, the major motivating force was ridding The Loft of Roommate-associated-clutter and cat-associated unsightliness. Bless him and his OCD tendencies and his love of vacuuming. The Loft looks amazing, and playing house with him in this huge space was one of the weekend's major highlights.
A major motivating factor for me was anticipating the arrival of RR, my dear, wonderful and insanely-missed friend from Boston. She arrived Saturday afternoon with karaoke machine in tow and tons of love to give. We caught up, set up the karaoke machine, got ready, and headed out for our evening with the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players!
Since relocating to New York, I have flip flopped my inability to estimate how long things will take. When I lived in Boston I was notoriously early for things. I was always the one waiting. I'd say "Man, I am going to be at work all day - this experiment is going to take 9 hours!" so I'd rush and then be done in 5 hours. Here, I'm like "Oh yeah, I'll be there in 20 minutes" and it will take an hour. I am never on time. I think its because I haven't quite developed the ability to compare how long things should take to how long things actually take. Because I can see Manhattan from my window, it should take me only seconds, in theory, to get there. Tis not the case.
Anyway, RR and I were supposed to meet D at Fez Under Time at 7:00. When we got to the L, I looked at the clock, which said 6:50. I knew it would take us at least half an hour to get there. I said "Is that right?" Sadly it was. The L didn't come for a while, of course, and I was feeling really guilty for keeping D waiting. Again. Like I always do.
When we got off the L at Union Square, we were supposed to switch to the 6. We were in a rush, and RR, who has longer legs than me, got ahead of me and ran to catch a train. She bolted down the stairs. I followed after her, but couldn't keep up. Next thing I knew she was running onto the wrong train. Sloooooooow mooooooootion... "Noooo.... not that one!" I yelled, but it was too late! The doors closed on RR before I could get on the train, and she was gone.
I was frantic. I was like "Somebody tell me where that train goes!" There were these four fabulously New York construction men there, laughing at me. They told me that the train went to Astor. "What's that?!?!?" I was afraid it was Brooklyn. It was, apparently, only one stop away, so I decided to take the next train to Astor, which was hopefully what RR did as well. The four men continued to make fun of me until the next train came. They told me I was a bad host, that it was my duty as a New Yorker to hold my guests' hands. I said "No, not my fault, she got cocky!" and they said "No way, man, you're just becoming a New Yorker" and "What kind of friend are you?" and "How could you?" and "Good luck, she's going to kick your ass." I was crying tears of laughter by the time I got on the next train.
RR was nowhere to be found on the platform at Astor. D called and I was like "I can't talk to you right now I have lost RR and I don't know what to do where she is shit i suck oh my god."
RR had apparently gone to the other side of the platform and saw me looking around, so she called and we were reunited.
We ended up being really really really late.
D had been late as well, but because he was sick. Again. My heart is breaking.
I couldn't decide between being worried to the point of having another meltdown or being giddy about having lost RR and having felt like the subject of a funny play about becoming a New Yorker.
When we got into Fez Under Time, there was a line. Not cool since we had reserved tickets, which means we should have gotten a seat. I was holding onto D because I was afraid he was going to pass out or something, when some dude approached RR. He seemed to know her. She seemed horrified by his very presence. She clenched her teeth and tried desperately to conceal her awkwardness, but needless to say she didn't do a good job. Apparently some dude she knows from Boston heard what she was doing and decided to just turn up unannounced and unplanned, which really wigged out RR.
A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
We couldn't get seats at first, so we stood by the bar and listened to the awful opening band while we jealously watched The Trachtenburg Daughter eat a gigantic plateful of spaghetti.
We eventually spotted three seats - not together - and decided to sit down because we were worried about D and starving.
And then - the show! If you do not know about the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, please consult:
http://www.slideshowplayers.com/
RR and I had seen them over a year ago during a snowstorm in Cambridge at the Middle East. We were simultaneously amused and horrified by them. At one point The Father called attention to us during the show and we were terrified, but not to the point that we weren't thrilled about the possibility of seeing them again.
The show was good. They played "Look At Me," which is our favorite. The Father was his usual punchy self only this time, unlike in Cambridge, he was a slightly more organized and therefore appealing punchy. He was funny, especially when talking about TheGates. If he wasn't so smart the banter might become exhausting, but he's witty and bizarre and lovely. He appeals to a specific sense of humor which I happen to have. Readers, this is not for everyone.
Towards the end of the set, The Father initiated a question-and-answer session, which included questions from the audience such as "Why are there only white people in your slides?" and a question to the daughter asking if she has aspirations involving something other than music. I think everyone worries about her. She answered "I would like to be an actor."
Things are clearly much worse than any of us could have imagined.
A major motivating factor for me was anticipating the arrival of RR, my dear, wonderful and insanely-missed friend from Boston. She arrived Saturday afternoon with karaoke machine in tow and tons of love to give. We caught up, set up the karaoke machine, got ready, and headed out for our evening with the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players!
Since relocating to New York, I have flip flopped my inability to estimate how long things will take. When I lived in Boston I was notoriously early for things. I was always the one waiting. I'd say "Man, I am going to be at work all day - this experiment is going to take 9 hours!" so I'd rush and then be done in 5 hours. Here, I'm like "Oh yeah, I'll be there in 20 minutes" and it will take an hour. I am never on time. I think its because I haven't quite developed the ability to compare how long things should take to how long things actually take. Because I can see Manhattan from my window, it should take me only seconds, in theory, to get there. Tis not the case.
Anyway, RR and I were supposed to meet D at Fez Under Time at 7:00. When we got to the L, I looked at the clock, which said 6:50. I knew it would take us at least half an hour to get there. I said "Is that right?" Sadly it was. The L didn't come for a while, of course, and I was feeling really guilty for keeping D waiting. Again. Like I always do.
When we got off the L at Union Square, we were supposed to switch to the 6. We were in a rush, and RR, who has longer legs than me, got ahead of me and ran to catch a train. She bolted down the stairs. I followed after her, but couldn't keep up. Next thing I knew she was running onto the wrong train. Sloooooooow mooooooootion... "Noooo.... not that one!" I yelled, but it was too late! The doors closed on RR before I could get on the train, and she was gone.
I was frantic. I was like "Somebody tell me where that train goes!" There were these four fabulously New York construction men there, laughing at me. They told me that the train went to Astor. "What's that?!?!?" I was afraid it was Brooklyn. It was, apparently, only one stop away, so I decided to take the next train to Astor, which was hopefully what RR did as well. The four men continued to make fun of me until the next train came. They told me I was a bad host, that it was my duty as a New Yorker to hold my guests' hands. I said "No, not my fault, she got cocky!" and they said "No way, man, you're just becoming a New Yorker" and "What kind of friend are you?" and "How could you?" and "Good luck, she's going to kick your ass." I was crying tears of laughter by the time I got on the next train.
RR was nowhere to be found on the platform at Astor. D called and I was like "I can't talk to you right now I have lost RR and I don't know what to do where she is shit i suck oh my god."
RR had apparently gone to the other side of the platform and saw me looking around, so she called and we were reunited.
We ended up being really really really late.
D had been late as well, but because he was sick. Again. My heart is breaking.
I couldn't decide between being worried to the point of having another meltdown or being giddy about having lost RR and having felt like the subject of a funny play about becoming a New Yorker.
When we got into Fez Under Time, there was a line. Not cool since we had reserved tickets, which means we should have gotten a seat. I was holding onto D because I was afraid he was going to pass out or something, when some dude approached RR. He seemed to know her. She seemed horrified by his very presence. She clenched her teeth and tried desperately to conceal her awkwardness, but needless to say she didn't do a good job. Apparently some dude she knows from Boston heard what she was doing and decided to just turn up unannounced and unplanned, which really wigged out RR.
A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
We couldn't get seats at first, so we stood by the bar and listened to the awful opening band while we jealously watched The Trachtenburg Daughter eat a gigantic plateful of spaghetti.
We eventually spotted three seats - not together - and decided to sit down because we were worried about D and starving.
And then - the show! If you do not know about the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, please consult:
http://www.slideshowplayers.com/
RR and I had seen them over a year ago during a snowstorm in Cambridge at the Middle East. We were simultaneously amused and horrified by them. At one point The Father called attention to us during the show and we were terrified, but not to the point that we weren't thrilled about the possibility of seeing them again.
The show was good. They played "Look At Me," which is our favorite. The Father was his usual punchy self only this time, unlike in Cambridge, he was a slightly more organized and therefore appealing punchy. He was funny, especially when talking about TheGates. If he wasn't so smart the banter might become exhausting, but he's witty and bizarre and lovely. He appeals to a specific sense of humor which I happen to have. Readers, this is not for everyone.
Towards the end of the set, The Father initiated a question-and-answer session, which included questions from the audience such as "Why are there only white people in your slides?" and a question to the daughter asking if she has aspirations involving something other than music. I think everyone worries about her. She answered "I would like to be an actor."
Things are clearly much worse than any of us could have imagined.
Harlem Globetrotters
D and I, along with some of our coworkers, had tickets to see the Harlem Globetrotters on Friday night! I was so very excited. I love when nostalgia can be that powerful.
Prior to the game, D, Bench Buddy and I went to D's for drinks and conversation. We busily drank and discussed Bench Buddy's premise that love, hate, and indifference are like an isoceles triangle, with love and hate being the bottom and very close together and therefore readily and often interchangeable, and indifference being very far away and therefore harder to achieve. Ah, Bench Buddy. And then we sang Poison by Bel Biv Devoe.
The conversation and drinks made us late for the game, which started at 8:00. We got to Madison Square Garden at around 8:30. Once we found our way inside, which was far more difficult than we'd anticipated, we were baffled by the amount of people who were in the hallways. We deduced that it was halftime, and I felt stupid for having thought that a Harlem Globetrotters game would be as long as an NBA game. I said "I guess it makes sense that the halves would only be 20 minutes, but man, that's disappointing."
We met our other coworkers at the seats and they kept being like "Man, you guys are so late!"
I said "How were we supposed to know that the half would only be 20 minutes? We're not that late! Did we miss the hiding-the-ball trick?"
After like five minutes of discussion regarding our being late, it was revealed that the game started at 7:00. Oops.
Nevertheless, it was fun. There was much more, well, hip hop than I expected. Also, during the half, horrid pop music was playing and little kids were going nuts singing along with Ashlee Simpson. I fear for the youth. The game was fun - lots of dancing, antics, banter, and much less basketball than I remembered.
Here is some dancing:
It was fun.
Some questions, though:
1. Who are the Harlem Globetrotters? Like did they play basketball in college and almost made it into the NBA?
2. Do the Harlem Globetrotters score easily with chicks? Like does that work if you're in a bar and someone asks what you do - do girls think its hot if you're a Globetrotter? Or do people think its lame?
3. Do they make Nationals t-shirts? If they do, we are going to buy them and cheer for the Nationals next time.
4. Bench Buddy claims that the Nationals won once and only once - was this on purpose or did the Globetrotters have a bad night and the Nationals accidentally won?
Things to ponder before bringing future children to a Globetrotters game.
Prior to the game, D, Bench Buddy and I went to D's for drinks and conversation. We busily drank and discussed Bench Buddy's premise that love, hate, and indifference are like an isoceles triangle, with love and hate being the bottom and very close together and therefore readily and often interchangeable, and indifference being very far away and therefore harder to achieve. Ah, Bench Buddy. And then we sang Poison by Bel Biv Devoe.
The conversation and drinks made us late for the game, which started at 8:00. We got to Madison Square Garden at around 8:30. Once we found our way inside, which was far more difficult than we'd anticipated, we were baffled by the amount of people who were in the hallways. We deduced that it was halftime, and I felt stupid for having thought that a Harlem Globetrotters game would be as long as an NBA game. I said "I guess it makes sense that the halves would only be 20 minutes, but man, that's disappointing."
We met our other coworkers at the seats and they kept being like "Man, you guys are so late!"
I said "How were we supposed to know that the half would only be 20 minutes? We're not that late! Did we miss the hiding-the-ball trick?"
After like five minutes of discussion regarding our being late, it was revealed that the game started at 7:00. Oops.
Nevertheless, it was fun. There was much more, well, hip hop than I expected. Also, during the half, horrid pop music was playing and little kids were going nuts singing along with Ashlee Simpson. I fear for the youth. The game was fun - lots of dancing, antics, banter, and much less basketball than I remembered.
Here is some dancing:
It was fun.
Some questions, though:
1. Who are the Harlem Globetrotters? Like did they play basketball in college and almost made it into the NBA?
2. Do the Harlem Globetrotters score easily with chicks? Like does that work if you're in a bar and someone asks what you do - do girls think its hot if you're a Globetrotter? Or do people think its lame?
3. Do they make Nationals t-shirts? If they do, we are going to buy them and cheer for the Nationals next time.
4. Bench Buddy claims that the Nationals won once and only once - was this on purpose or did the Globetrotters have a bad night and the Nationals accidentally won?
Things to ponder before bringing future children to a Globetrotters game.
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