Bullies

I am thinking about:

- being socially bullied
- walking into preexisting situations
- people who use guilt to get what they want
- people who change depending on who they're around
- worrying about the feelings of people who I couldn't care less about, not because
I'm worried about their feelings, but because I'm worried about how their
feelings will affect my life

I am thinking that I miss a ton of people - sane, good, sweet, non-drama-welcoming people.

I Am Such a New Yorker

I was thinking about my blog the other day, and I thought "You know, I haven't had any wacky New York stories lately." I then wondered "Is that because things have gotten less wacky?" and then thought about it and decided "No, things are exactly the same as they've always been, it's just that I am used to them now."

I think I have become a New Yorker.

This thesis was confirmed last night after work.

I went to see the saddest movie of all time at the Film Forum. B said "Do you want to go see Mouchette? It will make us feel better about our lives."

I opted to go since I had nothing else planned and because I didn't particularly want to go directly home on such a beautiful night, even if my laundry was waiting to be picked up.

When we got there, B was shocked to find herself without cash at a cash-only theater. I told her I'd get her and that she could just pay me back. Film Forum has awesome popcorn, so we decided to split a small popcorn and each get our own drinks.

The popcorn and two drinks came out to $9.05.

I said "Hey, B, do you have a nickel?" I figured the least she could do was find a nickel for me since I was paying. I had a nickel, but didn't feel like rummaging through my belongings to find it.

She handed me a quarter.

Confused, I took it anyway, thankful for her contribution.

I handed the girl at the cash register $20.25.

She looked at me in horror.

"I don't want that from you."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't need twenty-five cents from you."

"Oh really?" I said without missing a beat. "What makes you think I need ninety-five cents from you?"

"Ugh," she groaned.

I stared her down. I was in consumer-bitch mode. Who is she to tell me what I can and cannot use to pay for things?

Nothing was happening, so I found a nickel and gave it to her.

On our way into the theater I said "B, I really want to fight that girl. Who does she think she is? What is her problem? Why can't I pay for something with a quarter? What the f is wrong with people at The Film Forum? 'Oh, I work at a snotty independent movie theater that shows old depressing movies and therefore I get to tell everyone what to do.'"

(Note: I love The Film Forum. I just hate this girl).

Anyway, the point of this story is not to point out further evidence regarding how people who work at stores and theaters and dentist offices and restaurants in New York City suck beyond all comprehension, but to point out how I said something equally stupid and equally bitchy to someone who gave me attitude.

I never would have done that as a Bostonian.

This means that the transformation into New Yorker may be nearly complete!

When I got home after the movie, wanting to kill myself after enduring Mouchette, I was greeted by three cockroaches (one in the living room, one on the cabinet, and one in the sink) and the revelation that there was still no hot water in my apartment. I cursed at and killed the roaches - two grownups and a baby, ate dinner, gathered some clothes, said farewell to the mountain of dishes that couldn't be washed and the roaches that would begin their nightly orgy as soon as I shut the light, and headed back down to D's to take a much-needed shower.

Ah, New York. How I love it so!

Who Shot Who?

Oh. My. God.

It's just been announced that this year's holiday party will be at the Copacabana!!!

It is insane that we know this given that it is only October 19th.

It is also insane because this means that I will have to have Barry Manilow in my head for a very, very, very long time.

Any time anyone makes reference to the company party I will have to break out in both song and dance.

I am very excited about the holiday party this year because (a) it's at the Copa, Copacabana... which is (b) the hottest spot right around the corner from my apartment! It is also exciting because (c) we are allowed to bring dates this year! which doesn't apply to me directly, but will mean that there will be opportunities to meet the significant others of coworkers! weee! and (d) it's on a Friday, which means that people will actually come this year and that (e) we can stay out all night, either at the Copa or somewhere else, without ruining the following day's work like last year.

I went to the Copa's website and it's awesomely cheesy because they actually have Barry's "Copacabana" playing, midi-style.

Yes.

I can't wait.

PJ's

Am I alone in thinking that pajamas rule?

Is there nothing better than coming home from work on a chilly winter night and putting on your pajamas?

I had to defend the virtues of pajamas last night and it confused me, because I really don't think that pajamas warrant a debate.

Potato

It's a perfect day. I spent an hour walking around the city this afternoon - through SoHo and then Chinatown - to get lenses for my new glasses. It's gorgeous outside. It's supposed to be even more beautiful tomorrow.

While I was wandering around the city, I couldn't stop thinking about Cape Cod Potato Chips.

Weird. I haven't had those since, like, middle school. I couldn't find them anywhere. I nearly went insane.

I must have been craving salty.

It was a girl's birthday at work today, and someone sent her a giant chocolate chip cookie. You know the kind - it substitutes for a cake and has frosting. Yum.

As we inhaled the cookie, this guy from another department said "Does anyone here bake their own chocolate chip cookies?"

Nobody answered.

"Well, you know what makes them better? Adding 3x the amount of salt that is called for in the recipe."

Nobody responded.

I thought to myself "Oh my god... I bet that's his family's secret ingredient for the best chocolate chip cookies ever and he's just told all of us!"

And then "Wait - there's salt in chocolate chip cookies? What?"

Yeah. I've never baked chocolate chip cookies or cookies of any kind that weren't already in the form of a tube or sheet.

So now you all know - add 3x the amount of salt that is called for in your chocolate chip cookie recipe and you will be amazed! And you have My Mundane Life In Song to thank for it!

Let me know if you try it and if it makes them 3x as good.

Therapy

I am so ashamed.

Prior to my viewing of Capote this weekend, I saw a preview for a movie called Prime. It's written by the same guy who wrote Boiler Room, which I liked if only because of the hip hop-heavy soundtrack.

The movie stars Meryl Streep, who I irrationally resent because my freshman year boyfriend forced me to watch Bridges of Madison County because Meryl Streep was supposed to be Italian. This excited him greatly as he was, in reality, Italian, and was enamored with all things Italian, including, apparently, fake Italians. I hated every minute of it mainly because Meryl Streep annoyed me so very much (although I should mention that I caught a bit of it when I still had TV and cried like a baby - this is apparently one of those movies that actually gets better with age - I think I get it more now - as opposed to the sort of movie that gets worse with age such as The Black Cauldron, which I saw recently and which broke my heart as I loved it as a kid and now realize it sort of sucks).

Back to the lecture at hand...

The movie features Meryl Streep as a therapist. Uma Thurman is her patient. My guess is that Uma plays a divorcee who's getting back into the dating scene. Meryl Streep encourages her to pursue a fling with a man who is much younger than her (how much do we love that Uma is playing the older woman?) who, surprise!, turns out to be Meryl Streep's son.

Now.

I have three thoughts about this:

1. Best movie idea ever! Why didn't I think of this? and

2. Best movie idea ever. I can't believe this hasn't already been done! and

3. I can't believe I am excited about a cheesy romantic comedy starring Meryl Streep.

Seriously. This movie is going to suck so hard but the premise and the preview are so funny! Plus, it involves therapy! Awesome!

I also saw a preview last night before Serenity that is of interest... yes, folks, yet another Jake Gylenhaal movie to feel guilty about. In this one, our hero plays a soldier in Iraq. It sort of reminded me of Three Kings. Looks cool. I can't wait.

Speaking of which, this is cute:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaims, "that's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.

Finally, the president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Heh. That made me laugh yesterday.

OK. I'm off to get lenses for yet another pair of new glasses.

Until tomorrow...

Maybe It's the Nose

When I saw The Boss this morning, he said "Leah Lar, I was flipping through the channels yesterday and 'Pretty Woman' was on, and you know? You look just like Julia Roberts!"

"No I don't," I said.

"No, you really do. You don't think so?"

"No, I really don't."

"Guys, don't you think she does?" he asked Bench Buddy and Newest Guy.

"Well, maybe if you had different hair..."

"Or were taller..."

"Really?" said Boss.

Finally we all said "Well, maybe. Yeah. Sort of!" so as not to hurt his feelings.

I am so very flattered, because as we all know I love Julia. I still wanted to fight him about it, because I obviously look nothing like Julia Roberts. Nothing! I couldn't look less like Julia Roberts. He's wrong, but he was so cute and pleased with himself that we all had to let it go.

This being said, I have a cousin who I think looks like Julia Roberts (nobody else thinks that she does), so I guess that there's a chance that I may look a bit like Julia Roberts. Maybe in the nose.

Or maybe not at all.

Women Are Organic, Men Are Robots

The weekend thus far....

1. a fatal hit and run involving a bus just outside my apartment

2. "Firefly" = awesome! thanks, Banalities

3. a friend being used

4. THE SUN!!!!

5. a sad breakup

6. an engagement of which I approve - I am the first to have seen the ring! yay!

7. hit on by not one but two waitresses?

8. a new friend

9. "we should do this more often." there are so many things i should do more often.

10. lack-of-cab epidemic still in full force. why aren't there any cabs lately?

i love blogging after rum. makes me feel like less of an old-ish lady.

talk to you on monday!