Podcast

Even though I knew it would happen I'm not quite prepared. There are rumblings today, everyone's heard something, it's going down tomorrow, but it sounds like everything might be coming up roses. If nothing goes down I will be disappointed, but if something goes down I think I'll feel like I've been punched in the stomach no matter what it is. I'm not prepared even though I've considered every scenario 14,000 times.

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I had Ethiopian food last night for the first time and am unsure of how I managed to live beforehand. The restaurant is right below my apartment! Woop!

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I am trying to learn Italian via Podcast. I've been accused of being "wicked smaht" before, but not so when it comes to learning languages. I am completely incapable of speaking foreign languages. I can understand, but I fear the day when I should actually have to say something beyond "Ciao!" D, of course, has picked up the entirety of the Italian language in two days and keeps trying to talk to me, but I am helpless without my guidebook or Podcast. The Podcasts are awesome, though, because they allow me to speak Italian phrases out loud on the train and scare commuters. It's awesome. Actually, Podcasts are awesome. I've been staying away from them because I thought they were too high-tech, but dear god you can get anything as a Podcast!

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Lately I have been absentminded. I exercised (!) the other night (!!) and afterwards decided that I should put the Italy cruise on my calendar so as not to make plans for those weeks. I flipped to September and realized, of course of course of course is it possible for me to suck any more?, that I will be on a boat in the Mediterranean the day of RP's wedding. I suck! What is wrong with me? I've been trying to understand the virtues of spontaneity and not planning and not thinking ahead so as to keep options open for wonderful things that might pop up and I've been trying ever-so-hard to adapt and now look what I've done! It would have been different had I made the active decision to miss RP's wedding in favor of the cruise, but this sucks. Hard. I hope she doesn't defriend me. She sent a save-the-date like 6 months ago and I did not save the date. I obsessed about it in the shower, trying to figure out what is wrong with my brain and how this can be happening to me, and realized when I got out that I had only shaved one leg. What is wrong with me!?

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So yeah, exercise. I started one tape. Yes, a tape, to save money on a gym membership or whatever people do, and I like one of them. It's dance! Woo! It's still dorky enough that I will only do it when there is no risk of D's being at home, but it's acceptable. My body didn't hurt enough the following day, though, so I probably have to do more. I also bought a weight-lifting one but sat through it once and realized I cannot lift weights. Well, I can, but not the way SHE wanted me to. No way. I'll have to find a good beginning tape that doesn't require equipment other than weights. Seriously. Shouldn't they tell you this before you buy the tape?

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Today I had to explain to D that the goal is not to cheat the diet. The goal is to adhere to the diet as best as possible so as to be a healthy person, and to cheat only when I absolutely cannot survive without five reverse fudge-striped cookies that are calling to me from the topmost shelf. I was ecstatic this morning when the dietician told me that if I had to eat ice cream, then Mr. Softee was "not so bad" since soft ice cream is mostly air and therefore less terrible than hard ice cream. I wanted to hug her.

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I am not going to class tonight because I want to read about carbohydrates and maybe read some Italian verbs and also some fiction and possibly movie reviews. I want not to waste 3 hours of my life for the 20 minutes during which I will learn something. I've been slacking off on life because I've been being too social and need to just decompress and process what's coming tomorrow before the mayhem of the weekend begins. I think I am not going to the party tomorrow night because VB will be in attendance and I cannot (will not) cope with confrontation and eye rolling. Plus I need to buy a dress (would be so nice to get that over with and not have to wander around the city all weekend) and to finish writing my musical version of "Shopgirl" aka "Creepy Movie" for all ya'll.

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The weekend will be good. D will be away. Brother will be in town hoping people will buy his book. There will be a movie shoot and I will be there, gawking and photographing and hoping for a glimpse of the superhero. Hopefully I'll have time to read things and record things and buy new foods. I hope to watch a movie at IFC and attend the convention, dine with friends, sleep late on Saturday and even later on Sunday. I think I'll have nothing to worry about this weekend.

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