Ethan Hawke, Craigslist and Cosmopolitans

I met E last night for dinner.

When E and I meet for dinner, we generally meet without a plan. We just say "Let's get dinner" and then hopefully find a place to eat. I don't know the city well enough yet to have specific destinations.

We met last night in Chelsea prior to going to the Upright Citizen's Brigade to enjoy some much needed laugher.

As usual, we began wandering around aimlessly but this time put a cap on for long we would wander prior to just backtracking and going to Burritoville.

Walking down 23rd Street, E turned to me and said "Did you see who that was?"

"What? No. What?"

"That was Ethan Hawke."

"Oh. My. GOD." Best celebrity sigthing thus far and I missed it!!! "Where!?" I demanded information.

"See that unkempt, hill billy-looking man in the baseball cap? That’s Ethan Hawke."

I quickly turned around and caught a glimpse of Ethan Hawke's back.

"Oh my god!" I said again. "Oh my god. Oh my! GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! I LOVE ETHAN HAWKE!!!"

"Do you want to stalk him?" offered E.

"YES!!! OH! MY GOD!" I was giddy. I explained to E that I have loved Ethan Hawke since the days of Dead Poets Society, in which he played Todd, the softspoken and adorable student who learns about confidence and friendship with the help of Robin Williams. I explained that I'd been so jealous that some of my coworkers had been in an elevator with Ethan Hawke in our building. I was suddenly 14 years old.

We backtracked. I hoped for some sort of elaborate stalking escapade that would give us invaluable information about Ethan Hawke's life that would ultimately culminate in Ethan Hawke and his friend sharing a burrito with us, and in Ethan Hawke becoming my new best friend.

E said "He looks homeless."

"Yes, he does" I agreed, as our stalking mission ended abruptly as Ethan Hawke and his friend got tickets to a movie at the Chelsea Cinema. "Do we have any spies in there? How are we going to know what movie he's going to?" I demanded. "You know, he's still hot even when he looks homeless. I love Ethan Hawke."

We hovered for a bit longer. I am the worst stalker ever. I couldn't contain myself. I kept saying "E, let's pretend like we're waiting for another friend to meet us and that's why we're just standing here..."

But I wasn't just standing there. I was rocking back and forth trying not to stare at him and repeating "Ohmygodiloveethanhawke."

It was interesting that nobody seemed to care that he was getting a ticket to a movie. E thinks that perhaps nobody recognized him in his surly outfit. I thought it was weird that Ethan Hawke had to get a ticket to a movie at all.

I said "E, I dare you to ask him to be an extra in your movie. I totally dare you. I will give you 10 bucks if you do. I will buy you dinner!" but clearly that particular dare was worth a lot more than dinner, so we didn't talk to Ethan Hawke and he therefore is not my new best friend.

Drat.

E and I grabbed dinner at an Indian restaurant, where I ended up leaving my sweatshirt because we were running late to meet R, R's girlfriend J who might actually be my new best friend, and D at the Upright Citizen's Brigade. I tried to blame Ethan Hawke for our being late but they would have none of it. "But we had to stalk him!" I explained.

The show last night at UCB was based on Craigslist. Basically, some dudes solicited sketch comedy on all of the Craigslists around the world and then staged the worst, most bizarre, and potentially funny skits they received. It was funny. Most funny, though, was this guy who set actual Craigslist postings to music.

Everyone was rabid for this guy, and I could think only two things about this:

1. That guy was good. Entertaining, funny, awesome, nervous, which I can appreciate.

2. I could totally do that. Like that's what I do, right? I set the absurd to music! For example, soon you will all be treated to my B side "Scary Eccentric Scientist" from last July. There's no reason I couldn't do something like that, right? It's not like the songs were musically ambitious or complex. As long as the content is good, people will respond to it. I could totally do that! I would totally do that, except that now the idea is taken. But maybe I could set blogs to music. I don't know. Either way, I am so going to an open mic next week.

I digress...

After reclaiming my sweatshirt from the Indian restaurant, the five of us went to have more than a few drinks.

I am a mess today, but I don't mind, because I needed to relax.

Conversation waivered between E's movie career, stereotypes, bestiality, and the importance of non-fucked up parenting.

After drinks D said "What was with your face?"

"What do you mean? My face?"

"During parts of the conversation you just had this face. I can't explain it."

I explained that I'd actually experienced some profound moments during the conversation about family. R's girlfriend J and I apparently have some shared skeletons, and there is something powerful about knowing that the person you are seated next to might actually understand you without your having to explain yourself, to justify yourself, to defend yourself.

It was a great night. I feel hungover but happy.

Yes. I feel happy. I think I suddenly feel like I belong.