Oy. I just got back from Princeton, where I enjoyed a lovely day of foliage and oooh-ing over the castle-like campus and shouting "Don't do it! It's meaningless! It's not worth the debt!" to potential students on tours and saying things like "Maybe I should just move out to the country" and then rethinking it when I realized that it takes only ten minutes to walk around the entire center of town. It was fabulously therapeutic to see Brother and to figure out just how close he now lives to me. It was also amazing to have three whole hours to myself in transit and to, gasp, read a book! In honor of recent discussions on the blog, I decided to start reading "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer which I've nearly finished in one day and which is dedicated to, ahem, Nicole.
I am back now, wrestling with various Halloween costumes that are in various states of disarray. Tangled wigs, dresses that once fit, costumes that were once sexy that now show my age. I used to love Halloween. I think I still love Halloween. I just hate Halloween in New York where everyone is oh-so-clever and oh-so-attractive. What's the fucking point?
I think the point is to rent some kids and take them trick-or-treating. But not here. Because who would want to go to strangers' apartments in this city?
I love Halloween. I love Halloween parties. I love seeing people out during the day in costumes. I love witches on the subway. I loved these things in Boston. In New York they only annoy me, because I feel like it is just one more way for all of these stupid people to draw attention to themselves.
The parade is tomorrow and I am excited. Anyone can march in it. I toyed with the idea, but then decided that unless my costume is a complete disguise, I'd rather die than be looked at. D will be marching. He is very excited. It is cute that he is so proud of his costume.
I can't believe that I have become the sort of person who thinks "Is this pink wig alone enough for a costume?"
I can't believe I have become the sort of person who doesn't make time for Halloween costume production.
I am looking forward to the parade, though. Do I wish I were going to a party at someone's house? Yes. Do I realize this is a near impossibility in this city? Yes. Do I know that if I had more friends there'd be a chance? Yes. Do I know that even if I were invited to parties that I wouldn't consider going even for a second because I would know that my costume would suck compared to everyone else's in this city? Fuck yeah.
I can't believe this city has made me insecure about Halloween. No wonder I've been in a bad mood.
Speaking of renting kids, Brother and I went to see the "Wallace and Gromit" movie this afternoon and there were kids in the movie theater! I haven't seen kids in a movie theater in ages!
I also saw "The Squid and the Whale" this weekend, which was amazing. I'll probably write more tomorrow when I am at work being contrary and not attending the ribbon-cutting ceremony in NJ because I am like the angsty kid at recess. I'd rather be left alone than play with the other kids. I will be busy writing depressing poetry while the other kids tour the new manufacturing plant.
I think I am going to read now.
Until tomororrow...
Sunday, October 30, 2005
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4 comments:
Oh, man. I was all excited about this Halloween, too, but then last week, both viable parties I could have gone to were cancelled. I didn't care about one of them, but the one I was looking forward to got cancelled in lieu of a Halloween-themed bar-crawl.
Also, feel lucky that you can be around people who think up of too-clever costumes. The RI crew and I were hanging around the other day, reminiscing about past costumes, and when I mentioned the Rorschach costume. I received blank stares, so I told them it was basically the inkblot test. When the stares remained blank, I described a possible situation:
Someone: Hmm. And what are you supposed to be?
Me: I don't know. What do *you* think I supposed to be?
And still nothing!
Welcome to my annual Halloween hell, Leah. Except that this year, I was all prepared ahead of time to wear a dress and carry a fake Oscar (purchased in L.A.) (I was going to say "purchased in not-fake L.A.," but I realized L.A. is too fake to make that statement), and be an Oscar winner. You know, prepared in case I got invited to a Halloween party. But then I didn't! No one likes me! But at lease I am spared the uncomfortableness of being the lame-o in the lame non-costume costume at the party.
Who is Nicole? I need to know everything about JSF that you know. What is D's costume? Maybe you could e-mail that information to me. Sorry to be a drag, but I hate Halloween and I hate costumes. I was invited to ONE party and I didn't go because I didn't want to dress up but I didn't want to offend the host by NOT dressing up. That's how lame I am! But, I went skiing, so that makes up for it.
By the way, Banalities, that is the BEST costume I've ever heard of. I want to poach the idea.
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