- Woke up early in order to swim and go in the hot tub, but the weather was non-cooperative.
- Watched D devour all manner of pastries and chocolate muffins and juices and other continental breakfast items while suppressing overwhelming desire to cry and feel sorry for myself. I know it's not his fault. He can eat whatever he wants. But it is not easy, when starving, to watch someone (and everyone, really) consume consume consume without thought while you aren't able to eat anything. I wanted to leave, but instead sat quietly with him, not eating, while staring at the chocolate chip muffin. I don't think there's a way for him to be sensitive about this, and no, he should not have to suffer with me, but dear god this is not easy. It is easier now, though, after he offered later to come with me to the dietician in case I forget to ask certain questions and in case there is too much information for me to remember. It blows my mind when he is not completely oblvious, and I feel spoiled again.
- Almost threw a fit when we exited breakfast and the sun was shining, and there were 4 zillion kids swimming in the hot tub and all of the poolside chairs were taken by chatty tourists. D pressured me to swim, but I was all "Listen, I am so uptight right now and starving and just want out of this lame town with nothing to do so no I don't really want to go in the hot tub with screaming children and chatty tourists right now but you should." He did, and I bubble bathed again with my book until I almost passed out.
- Went to the Mass MoCA which was full of inaccessible art but at least it was something.
- Ate lunch at the Mass MoCA restaurant where I ate cheese and avocado and mistakenly drank a Guavatini and was drunk or recovering for the next few hours, craving carbs, and allowing myself a peanut butter cookie that helped for about 30 minutes and then ruined things for the rest of the day.
- Took scenic route to New Haven and how cute is old MA but there has to be a happy medium. I think real college towns are the happy medium. Ah, Northampton.
- Took train back from New Haven after D endured insane ordeal dropping off the car, but that's his story. Slept for most of the train ride after finishing Max Tivoli in tears.
- Put cheese on bread and ate it for dinner as there was no food and no motivation to procure it. Went to bed at 10:30, stretched out on the bed as though it was king sized. How quickly we get used to things. Woke up at around 4:00, sweating, consulted my clock and sighed when I saw that it was 82 degrees in the bedroom.
- Dreamt of putting together some party/meeting with hostile attendants.
- Woke feeling actually rested but not exactly relaxed. Ugh. No concrete vacation to look forward to. Rumors of Spain/England but I'll be amazed if the two of us pull this off. I hate being an uptight New Yorker who requires escape to unwind. I wonder if I'd have been so uptight in western MA had I gone there two years ago as a Bostonian. I feel like NYC has made me rather quick to experience moods and quick to resent anything that gets in the way of my being a serene individual. Would I have swum with a zillion tourists a few years ago? Yes, because swimming is swimming. Now nothing involving people has value, because my vacation was to get away from people. My vacation was to experience quiet. My vacation was to experience ease, something that was taken away by early-closing restaurants and teenagers abandoning little kids. Things were still a struggle on my vacation, and this is why I am still not relaxed.
- Looking forward to Labor Day.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
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2 comments:
did you like where you stayed? i've been wanting to do the same thing. great idea on the new haven train so you don't have to drive the whole stupid way.
ummm... well... it depends what you want. we stayed in north adams and it was bo-ring and not particularly nature-y. i feel like i'd have preferred to be utterly remote rather than somewhat remote without any appeal. the lack-of-food was a big issue. it wouldn't have been that big a deal had our hotel had room service or even a vending machine, but no. the hotel itself was nice, right across from the MoCA. it had a pool, sauna, hot tub, and the rooms were lovely, with DVD/CD players! yes! and renting a car from new haven saved us like $300!!! because renting a car from NYC is RIDICULOUS. i think we decided, though, that should we ever do this again we would take the train to poughkeepsie and rent a car there, because it would be faster.
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