Crying At Work

So the apartment has not been rented, which means at least a month of double rent for yours truly.

Which means no Europe for me.

My boyfriend, who has a ton of money saved for buying a home outright and a ton of worthful stock he's excited to sell and an apartment that he rented with zero effort because my friend gave him a tenant and who will be going to Europe not once but twice this year, just called to tell me that his friend invited him to the world-premiere red carpet showing of Mission Impossible: 3 at The Ziegfeld, which we have both been very excited about and talking about non-stop for months and now he is going to see it with Tom Cruise and Philip Seymoure-Hoffman.

I said "Of course you should go." What am I supposed to say? No? We were supposed to do that together? Don't hang out with Tom Cruise?

"Are you going to be jealous?"

"Yes."

"Did that girl rent the apartment?"

"No."

"What about the other guy? Did you hear from him?"

"Of course not."

"Well, I'm pretty psyched. I guess since Tom Cruise is going to be there so I can't bring a weapon."

Silence.

"What? Don't you get it?"

"I think I should get off the phone. I'm going to start crying if I don't."

So he said "Oh, OK, bye," and hung up.

I am crying at work. Like actual tears streaming down my face. No sobbing, so that's good. I have to meet up with a girl to whom I am selling D's silverware, and then I am going to get my hair cut and be expected to be pleasant and fun.

I hope I don't see him today. All of this stress I am experiencing is unfairly being deflected onto him, but I guess when you're in a relationship and the source of your stress is the fact that you moved in with someone who is not experiencing the same stress, you tend to get a little bitter. I guess I naively thought we would share this, but apparently we don't.

OK. Now I am about to sob.

I have to pull it together to explain how I want someone to fix this horrific haircut that D gave me.