Contact Sheet

OK.

Melodrama over.

I picked up my first successful contact sheet on Friday afternoon and it came out magnificently. I will not be quitting my photography class. I will not be giving up on photography.

***

Speaking of photography, last week's class was on shutter speed and long exposures. You know. Light tricks. D and I spent last night taking long exposures of words written and shapes drawn in the sky with a laser pointer. We were giddy. I love when D gets so happy and smiles so hard that it hurts my face.

***

This lead to pre-sleeping discussions of photography and art photography and the personalities of photographers based on what they choose to photograph.

I think this then resulted in my having an extremely disturbing dream in which my superintendent, who is, in real life, the sweetest and most adorable 70-ish old lady, attempted to rape D while he slept on a field trip bus that was taking us to an unknown destination. I witnessed this happening - he was asleep in his seat and she approached him, started to remove his clothes, started to remove her clothes (ewwww). I just watched, not knowing what to do. I thought "If I wake him up, he's going to be traumatized on so many levels. He'll be horrified. It will shatter his entire philosophy of life. It will make him bitter and jaded. It will ruin him. There's a chance, if he wakes up, that he'll let her go through with this because he's too nice of a person and that will ruin me." So, instead of waking him up, I took out my camera and contemplated taking a photo.

Luckily I was able to wake myself up before anything further happened.

A gross dream with more symbolism than I care to deal with consciously.

***

I went to my first NYC wedding this weekend and it was awesome. It was in a midtown loft with a view of nothing since it was on the second floor, but who cares? The people were smart and beautiful and all have interesting jobs and personalities and glasses.

I cried more than I've ever cried at a wedding. I hadn't met the bride nor the groom prior to this night. I didn't know them at all, but still I was weeping when their mothers spoke during the ceremony. I wept when they read the vows they'd written to one another. I wept when the Unitarian Minister Dude talked about love and how crazy and wonderful it is.

I determined later on that I cried because I was jealous.

When D asked what I was jealous of, I said "I don't know" but thought "Love? Perfection? Their mothers? Their smart bohemian families. Their perfect hair. The way they love each other. The way they compliment each other. The way everyone here loves that they're in love. They way everyone is supporting them. The way their families are mutually thrilled with this union. The way they know they are lucky to have found each other. The way they acknowledge one another's weaknesses and find them lovely instead of burdensome. The way they talk about their future children. Commitment. Certainty. Hope. The way its so perfect for them today. The way they make it seem like it was always and will always be perfect."

Despite my jealousy, I had a great time. Met some cool people. Danced a bit and then watched Curb Your Enthusiasm back at my apartment.

***

Didn't do much else this weekend other than catch up on phone calls and run errands, including a trip to Williamsburg during which I had to kill time while waiting to find out that Beacon's Closet was giving me $12 for like three bags of awesome clothes. The clothes were awesome, but they weren't in the best condition. Small stains, that sort of thing. Maybe they don't want high maintenance clothing.

Regardless, I had to kill an hour and ended up killing two hours because, for the love of god, I tried on glasses at a place that has the best selection of glasses I've ever seen! I found an amazing pair on sale for $100. $100!!!! The exact kind I wanted! ON SALE!!! For very little!

I am going to go back this weekend with Sister and ask her what she thinks. If she likes them, I'll buy them. Who knows? Maybe I can sell my old ones or something.

I am an addict.

But they are so cute!!!

***

OK. I think that's all.

Try to survive Monday.