What if Christian Slater Was Batman Instead?

Date: 6.19.05
Style: Cheesy and Sounds Like Every Other Song On This Blog!



Description:

I had an hour to kill yesterday while waiting for my friend SM (from MA!) to arrive at my apartment. I thought "What better way to kill time than to write a song about Christian Bale!?"

It's terrible. It's my first attempt at recording piano (no keyboard anymore - sniff sniff) so pardon the hissing in the background. I had to layer 4 piano tracks on top of one another in order to get enough volume to actually hear it.

The song itself is an abomination. But, who can resist a song about Christian Bale?

Lyrics:

Ever since the days of Disney musicals
In which you sold newspapers
You were young, you were misguided,
I was there, I was excited

And now you're Batman

I was there when you were swing dancing, you were a Nazi
And all the girls they were talking about that guy from Dead Poets Society
But I couldn't stop talking about you
I searched for a poster everywhere I went
Just like Gleaming the Cube
I couldn't find either but who cares
Who are those girls talking about now

They're talkin' bout Batman

The critics say you're the best
You'll save the franchise
And then you'll save all of us from Dukes of Hazard
And things like Episode III
The first two hours sucked
But I really liked the last fight
I was psyched when Natalie Portman died
And now I won't have to see it twice

Because I can see Batman

You can chase me down the stairs with a chainsaw any time of day
I'd be your girlfriend if you weighed only 128

I've been there through thick and thin
I even sat through Little Women
I'll be faithful to you Christian

Two decades of evolving fantasies
And now I can think of you as Batman

You're hot as Batman