Where is the Indian Buffet?

Things from today:

Can’t stop thinking that Jude Law is the best looking person on the planet.

My coworkers were standing in my bay a couple of days ago and saying “We should all go out for lunch on Friday!” They didn’t ask me about it or really tell me, but I figured they’d just let me know on Friday. Today, they were all hovering in the bay at around 11:30 finalizing their lunch plans, which involved going out for Indian buffet. I thought “Indian food! I love Indian food! Yippee!” So they’re talking and still nobody mentions to me the lunch plans. Then at 12:00 they all just leave.

I had a few thoughts while this was all happening:

Maybe they think they told me. But still – if they did tell me, why wouldn’t they say “Hey – are you still coming?” or “Hey – are you sure you can’t come?” like they were saying to everyone else.

Maybe they think I don’t want to eat with them since I eat by myself. But, if this is the case, might they at least try once to invite me for lunch? Did it occur to them at all that I might not want to invite myself along?

Maybe they don’t know me well enough to invite me to lunch. But, might it not be a good way to get to know me?

I am really upset about this because I feel like the outcast new kid in school who doesn’t have the right outfit. And by right outfit, I mean “spouse.” Maybe they hate that I wear my hair in ponytails or they are jealous of my fabulous red hoodie or they don’t like that I ordered disposable cell counters for everyone. Regardless, this sucks.

I decided to reward myself by eating a burrito for lunch, so I went to this place slightly uptown called Tex Mex. It was awful. Worst burrito I’ve ever had. It didn’t even look like a burrito.

One good thing was that while in the burrito place a 14-year-old-kid looked at me, smiled, and said “Hi.” I smiled back and said “Hello, how are you?” and he said “Good. How are you?” I told him I was fine and then did everything I could not to say “Actually, I’m not fine, because you’re the first person who’s spoken to me in two weeks and my coworkers hate me and do you have any idea how much it means to me that you smiled?”

When I got back to my building, I decided to talk to the security guard in order to continue my long line of being friends with everyone non-science at my place of employment. Well, it’s not really that long a lineage, but it includes:

the crazy walk-around-security hip hop producer who worked at my company two companies ago and who was my new best friend after I ran into him at the LL Cool J show

the nutty guy who worked in the Rebecca’s Café downstairs two jobs ago who gave me awesome hip hop bootlegs

all of the fabulous admins from two jobs ago

the security guard in the lobby from one job ago who made me feel really good about life

I said hello and he said “So – you just started working here?” and I said “Yeah, I actually just moved here” and we got to talking about that, and Boston. Then he said “How do you like your new job?” and I downloaded and said “Too soon to tell – but I’m not sure I like my coworkers” and told him how I feel so overwhelmed and they’re not very accommodating.

Then he said “Well, that’s New York for you. Everyone is really selfish” and I told him about how I eat by myself and he said “Better that way. Everyone here is in such a rush that they don’t have time for anyone. Don’t think about anyone other than themselves.”

And then he said this:

“You just need one. It’s best that way. You only need one who you can trust.”

I think he’s right, and I think I’ve identified possibly three. It doesn’t need to be everyone. You just need someone.