Debate 1

Lots and lots to say today. Lots.

I think that I’ll be telling this story to my future fictional phantom children someday when they say “Ma, what was it like when you first moved to NYC?”

Roommate and I were supposed to go out last night to play pool in the East Village with some Friends of Roommate who are in an all chick Depeche Mode cover band. We opted to stay in, however, due to various girl issues and to the general malaise we’ve been feeling about life as of late. Plus, we’d get to drink wine and watch the debate on our fabulous snowy TV that only gets CBS!

We watched and made fun of the end of Snowy Survivor while starting to drink.

Sitting there in the papasan chair while Roommate sat on the floor, I began to freak out because it seemed like Dubya was winning the debate. Not that he was being even semi-competent. It just seemed like Kerry was really nervous, and Dubya actually had some points (the horror). Although, Dubya’s reaction shots were awesome. He looked like an irritated four-year-old. I said “Do you think the rest of the country is distressed that the leader of the free world looks like a Keebler Elf?”

(I was also horrified by Jim Lehrer’s eyes – like he has beady beady beady freaky eyes, which look even more beady and freaky on snowy TV)

This prompted both Roommate and I to start drinking lots and lots. Lots. It was about 35 minutes into the debate when I said “I’m… not… going… to… make it….” and I then said “Do you know what we should do?” I don’t know what I was going to say, but Roommate said “Raise monkeys?”

This prompted me to launch into my tirade about how I hate how the media exploits monkeys. Which is not what I meant to say. If I’d been sober I’d have said how I hate how monkeys are dressed up as people and how it’s absurd that people think its funny when monkeys are dressed up as people, because it’s really not funny. Like really, what is funny about a monkey with a blonde wig and a pocketbook?

Things deteriorated from there. It became “Senator Kerry, what is your feeling on the domestic issue of Monkey-Xploitation?”

By the end of the debate we were trashed. I couldn't even get out of the chair. We were also depressed, because we thought Dubya had won, so we were slightly confused by the recap polls or whatever that said people’s opinions of Kerry had improved. Sweet! Don’t know why, because I was wrecked, but it was good, because I really needed to laugh.

We also had a fabulous drunken conversation about how surreal our lives are right now. It is so awesome to be able to share this insanity with someone who’s going through the exact same thing. It’s not easy here, and I can’t really explain it to anyone who’s not here. But she knows, and knowing is half the battle.