Nice Weekend That Shouldn't Have Been Nice - Part 1

I had to make an unexpected trip to MA this weekend.

D and I headed up on Friday night, hoping to engage in some fabulous meteor gazing in my parents' backyard. Our plan was foiled by blocked skies, but we were still able to enjoy the country air and silence. I miss crickets. I really need to find a white noise radio thing that sounds like crickets, with the occasional lawn mower at around 8:30am that plays only on Sundays.

We borrowed my father's car on Saturday morning and headed down to RI, where we attended a memorial service. It was nice to see D's family, and it was even more nice to see D be human. D is perfectly put together, never flustered, never bothered, never compromised. I shouldn't say that it was nice to see him sad, but it was nice, for me, to feel like we have something in common. It was nice to experience this sort of thing together. It made me feel close to him when his voice cracked, and it made me feel like I mattered to him when he held my hand tightly.

After the service, D's mother said "We were thinking of going into Boston tomorrow. We were thinking you could show us around. We were thinking of stopping in Medway first to see your parents."

Whoa.

I had many thoughts about this in the following order:

1. They want to meet my parents? It's too soon!
2. Why do they want to meet my parents!?
3. I don't feel like this is the right time! It's too soon!
4. That's so freaking serious!
5. Aren't parents supposed to meet when things are serious?
6. Don't parents meet after some sort of engagement?
7. Wait - they want to meet MY parents?
8. Why do they want to meet MY parents?
9. Wait! Maybe they want to meet my parents because they actually like me and want to know my family!
10. Wait! This is a sign of acceptance, isn't it? Like they are admitting that I am dating their son and that perhaps I am a permanent fixture!
11. Wait! This is wicked awesome!
12. Wow! I am so moved that they want to meet my parents! This is actually really sweet of them!
13. Although slightly bizarre because they just declared that they are dropping by my parents' house.
14. This is great! I can't believe they want to meet my parents!
15. Now. How am I going to tell my mother, who cannot be at all spontaneous and who freaks out about the idea of anyone at all, even D, coming by the house, that D's parents and three aunts are coming over tomorrow?

After many secret meetings at the after-service-reception, we came up with an overly complicated plan for them to meet us in Medway after they went to church, after my parents had returned from church, after which they would follow us, by car, to Harvard Square to see Harvard, which they were really excited about. As D's father said "It's not so much that they want to experience Boston, they just want to take pictures. They want to say 'Look! Here I am at Harvard!' or 'This is me with the State House in the back of the photo.'"

When I called my mother and said "We are all going to Boston tomorrow! You should come!" she immediately responded with "NO!"

It wasn't planned and therefore it cannot occur. Plus, it involves the city. Ewww.

I then said "Oh, well, in that case, well, um, D's parents would like to, umm... well, see, they'd like to drop by the house to meet you."

"They want to meet us? Why?"

I tried to brush it off as extremely casual and mostly a drop-by (which is what it was - it was more of an organizational tactic than something dramatic and full of pressure), and said "Yeah, no food or anything. They're just going to stop by for a few minutes."

My mother, of course, got nervous. I said "I'll call you later" and then did just that on our way back from RI.

I said "Look, ma, I know this is sort of strange and unexpected and you don't need to freak out and this really means a lot to me and realistically there's never going to be an opportunity for you to meet them again and I really think its a nice thing that they want to meet you so nobody is going to worry about this."

She was, predictably, worried about the state of the house. She hadn't vacuumed! The sink is a mess! There's stuff everywhere! M and AM's stuff is all over the place! She doesn't want them to think that the house is a mess!

What entertained me was the extent to which D was worried. After I came to the realization that they wanted to meet my parents because they now acknowledge my existence, I couldn't be anything but blissful about it.

D, however, was nervous! This was new too. I kept asking him what he was nervous about. I kept saying "They're going to like each other. Our parents are exactly the same people! My mom is adorable, your mother is adorable. Yeah, Father is weird but you know, they're both engineers. They'll probably start calling each other on the phone and will eventually become best friends and then we'll feel weird about that." I decided, after watching him be nervous, that what was worrying him was being exposed. D values his privacy, values his mystery, and now my parents would know his parents. Too much information. Too invasive. This could, gasp, led to his being understood.

We grabbed dinner with my parents on Saturday night and retreated to my brother's room after the sad day. We discussed the plan for the following day and discussed ways to minimize parent-related stress. We decided that instead of rushing through the Boston photo tour, we'd take the 10:00pm train from 128 that would have us back in NYC by 2am. We had tickets for the 6:55pm train. I said "D, we should probably call just to make sure we can use the 6:55 tickets on the 10:00 train." "I'm sure we can." "I'm sure we can, too, but we should call just to make sure we get a spot." "It's a 10:00 train. It's not going to be sold out." "Yeah, but maybe we should just call. You know. Just to make sure. I just want to, you know, know that we have a way home." "Don't worry about it," he said.

Because D is chill and composed and because things work out for him, I trusted him and didn't worry.

We fell asleep instantly, drained from the day's activities.