Today

I....

1. ...am thinking "It's good to be small because nobody ever asks you to help them move!"

2. ...am thrilled to have seen a mid-40's man walking down the street carrying a bag in his right hand and shaving his head with his left hand. Seriously. Walking at a completely normal rate whilst shaving his head with an electric razor.

3. ...am wondering "What do normal people do when told by a doctor 'You have cancer'?" Am betting they don't think "Huh."

4. ...am officially feeling like a grown-up for the first time in my life because I considered my response to #3 realistically for the first time in my life. Have decided that the sudden realization of mortality is a part of adulthood.

5. ...am glad that I don't have to realistically consider my response to the question posed in #3 but

6. ...am wondering, if I did have to respond to the statement in #3, how to change the response from "Huh" to "I know exactly what I will do with my last moments" or "I know exactly who I will spend my last moments with" or "I will kick the ass of cancer because I have so much to live for!"

7. ...am getting psyched about NetFlix and can't wait to construct an elaborate spreadsheet detailing all of the movies I need to see.

8. ...am wishing for a world without deductibles, because in a world without deductibles, I could have cable for a year instead.

9. ...am wondering why everyone in the world wants to buy my bookshelves but nobody wants my fabulous pink lampshade from Miami.

10. ...am wondering how I am working, well, how I am even awake, given that I am the most tired I've ever been in my life.

11. ...am thinking about Martin Short, who was in class last night. Am thinking about his philosophy of success, and think that I might employ the Martin-Short-Method of life assessment. It involves a report card. I think its a great idea, but my grades-to-be are already scaring me. Am thinking Martin Short would be a good writer of a self-help book.

12. ...am thinking that it is INSANE that another person at work has exactly what D had a few months back. Am wishing I was a member of the CDC and could track this virus or bacteria to the source and STOP IT! Am paranoid that this suggests that I could, ahem, contract it. Am thrilled by the fact that someone has indicated that "other people have reported similar symptoms." Outbreak! It could be a freak coincidence, but really. How exciting.

13. ...am hungry.

14. ...am procrastinating lunch for some reason.

15. ...am wondering what to rename "MyMundaneLifeInSong.com" given that I have sold my keyboard to afford moving the piano, which means that there will be no music! Well, there could be music, and then an internet cafe to post music. Any ideas? MyMundaneLifeInBlog? I don't know. Brain... has... ceased... functioning....

16. ...am annoyed by feeling that I have been reduced to a person who only packs, coordinates moves, and gets medical tests. I feel boring. I feel like I haven't had fun in ages. I feel like I am only dates and times and phone calls and confirmations and planning. I want to just go to a movie. Or see the Basquiat show. Or walk around aimlessly instead of in search of CD envelopes.

17. ...am mystified as to how Best Buy has sold out of CD envelopes! I have converted to a new system for CD storage that I am excited about (although not as excited as I was yesterday after D said last night when he said "I don't like the way it looks. I am going to make my own," which made me feel like I am without taste and also without function and made me feel like I wanted to cry) but that requires CD envelopes. I don't like the paper ones. Makes me nervous. Scratches. No good! I want the cloth-y ones. You know the kind. Anyway, I did a pilot of this system last Tuesday on my way to class - bought one container, bought one set of envelopes (I toyed with buying many envelopes but thought "Well, what if I hate it? Plus, they have about 50 BOXES OF ENVELOPES, so I can just come back whenever and buy tons of them"), went home on Wednesday and decided "Yes! This is good for now." I ordered more boxes online (because Best Buy had only one in stock) and then went back for envelopes on Sunday. There were NONE! Seriosly, there were TONS OF THEM on Tuesday. I bought three boxes of rainbow ones (hideous, but literally all they had) and decided to go back last night after the restocking I was convinced would occur. Again, NONE. Weird.

18. ...am certain there is a counterpart of me out there in NYC who had the exact same "Eureeka!" moment about his CD's as I did at the exact same moment, and went back on Saturday and bought 5000 CD envelopes. I don't know if I should hate him or love him. I think love.

19. ...am now really hungry and am going to go to lunch.

20. ...am sad I couldn't think of 20 things. Boring boring boring moving-doctor's-appointment-robot. Awful.