I've been psyched about this for months. I basically made D go, and said "You are going to be in this spelling bee, and you are going to win!"
I went with the intention of drinking and laughing lots, and taking photos. I'd envisioned it taking place in the club where the horrid open mics occurred (it was at the same center near Central Park West), with hundreds of people, and a lottery determining who got to enter the spelling bee.
D and I hadn't had time to practice our drunk spelling beforehand, so en route to the spelling bee we spelled everything we spoke about.
When we arrived, we were slightly shocked to see that the spelling bee would be held in a very tiny conference room, and that there only about 20 people involved.
This, of course, meant that I had to be in the spelling bee.
Horror of horrors. My fear of public speaking/performance is more of a fear of public anything. And if a microphone is involved, forget it! The setup for this was a small stage on which was only a microphone. Luckily we didn't have to sit on the stage. We were all seated in the audience, drinks in hand, and would be called up when it was our turn.
There were two different types of rounds - the first was just words picked from the official spelling bee list. The second, and far more fun, was a roll-the-dice round, where the number you rolled determined the word category from which you'd have to spell a word. The categories were alcohol, things that are uncomfortable, band names, characters from mythology, and former child stars.
I did pretty well for a while. I got "sandpaper duvet" and "luau" and "gwar" and "streptococcus." I can't believe I got "streptococcus" correct. I feel like sober me would have tripped all over it, but drunk me spelled it with the utmost of confidence.
The beauty of this spelling bee was that you weren't out until you got two incorrect. D faltered early as he was unable to spell "Bonaduce" in "Danny Bonaduce."
When one girl had to spell "Hennessey" and jokingly asked for it to be used in a sentence, I said "Or, how about a hip hop lyric instead?" and a bunch of people, myself included, busted out with Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance." Best spelling bee of all time, folks.
Another girl had to spell "Snoop Doggy Dogg," and spelled it incorrectly. She spelled the final "Dogg" with only one "g." It was funny, given that earlier on I'd been joking about my inability to spell in public, and how my first word would most likely be "dog" and how I'd spell it "D-O-double-G." Heh. The MC was all "Dude, haven't you ever heard any of his songs? He always spells his name in them."
The MC's brother participated in the spelling bee and was hilarious. Seriously. This guy was the ultimate in comic relief. He got up and rolled "Former Child Stars" and got "Mayim Bialik." He said "If I don't spell that right in this place I'm going to get killed," which was funny given that the spelling bee was being held in a Jewish Cultural Center. He had no idea how to spell it, but we decided that if he could reenact the opening credits, complete with singing of the theme song and doing the Blossom dance, he could stay in. He unfortunately didn't do the dance very well, so got eliminated. Luckily, there were two girls there who could do the dance, so we were very entertained.
When it was down to five people remaining, we had to stand on the stage.
I had one wrong at this point. I'd misspelled "meticulosity" because, thinking of my friend Kris' made-up word "awesomenocity," I misspelled it as "M-E-T-I-C-U-L-O-C-I-T-Y." When the MC gave me the word, I said "You totally made that up! It's meticulousness!" Everyone agreed with me, but whatever. It is, however, a word. I just looked it up.
The second word I went out on I can't even remember, because I, and everyone else in there, had never heard of it. Never! I had him repeat it like 10 times and had him use it in a sentence and give me the definition and still nothing. No idea. Out. I think the MC had it in for me. I could have spelled any other word in the whole bee. Damn, son.
The finalists were D and this older woman who was an amazing speller.
D, drunker than I've ever seen him, spelled amazingly!
He was also doing The D Show, and I think it psyched the lady out. He was rolling around on the stage and being nuts. The crowd loved him.
When the lady got her first word wrong, D ran to the side of the stage and gave me a huge kiss, Rocky-style. It was awesome.
And then D won!!!
We had an awesome time, even though winning didn't actually involve a prize. I made a new friend, and D and I hung out with the MC, his funny brother, and the bartender afterwards. We got to drink the remaining wine, and had some cool conversations. Hopefully we'll see these people again. And hopefully there will be more spelling bees!!!
3 comments:
I won my school's spelling bee in 8th grade and was sent to regional competition. I got out on a very easy word. I have blocked the word from my memory because it's so emmbarrassing.
maybe i am falling into the trap here, euge, but is the word you spelled incorrectly embarrassing?
That is so awesome. I am so jealous. That looks like so much fun! One question, were you allowed to write down the word you were spelling? I'm guessing no. That is considered "cheating" in some circles. I can spell so well on paper and it is so much harder in my head.
Coincidentally, someone asked me to spell "cinnamon" recently and it brought back delicious memories of beating Thomas McClure, boy genius, at the sixth grade spelling bee! The word that trumped it for me was cinnamon. Crazy.
Post a Comment