Last night....

... I had this dream, in which I was walking to class in the snow. It was snowing so hard. The city was a sheet of ice. Per usual, I was dressed inappropriately and wearing chucks in the dead of winter. I kept slipping around. The wind was fierce. People were being blown over, dropping to my left and right. At one point the wind was so fierce that it actually dragged me across the ice and almost into the road. I held onto a traffic light for dear life for a few moments while the wind gusted.

I finally arrived at the class, which was being held at this giant theater with red velvet curtains and balconies. Very fancy. I waited in a long line populated by various society folk wearing fur coats and finally found my way to a seat. I looked across the aisle, and realized I was sitting across from Michael Imperioli from The Sopranos. He looked just like he looks on TV and in the movies. I kept having thoughts like "I should say something to him, and then we can be friends, and then someday our kids can play together and they can share Italian American traditions. How lovely would that be!"

While trying not to stare, I realized that he was seated next to Warren Beatty. No - wait - it wasn't Warren Beatty, but he looked a lot like Warren Beatty. I kept thinking "I somehow know this man who is not Warren Beatty, but who is he?"

It finally occurred to me that it was John Shea, the actor who played Lex Luther on the early 90's TV sensation Lois and Clark, which is one of my favorite shows of all time. Comics and Teri Hatcher - does life get any better? I kept having thoughts like "I should say something to him, and tell him how much I loved Lois and Clark and how I loved the complexity he brought to Lex Luther." Instead I said nothing and tried not to stare, and waited patiently for class to begin.

Class began pompously. The professor said that he'd had dinner with Dr. Ruth earlier in the week, and that she'd told him to "warm up the crowd" by telling a joke. He told Dr. Ruth's joke, which was actually quite funny, and then gave a brief history of "the movies," which included various anecdotes about Edison and nickelodeons and Hollywoodland.

We watched a movie, and at the end, the professor reappeared and said "Well, I have to say, I think Dr. Ruth's joke really set the tone for the evening and for the entire class, and we should thank her!"

Dr. Ruth then appeared from behind the red velvet curtains, carrying a dozen red roses. All 4 feet and 8 inches of her looked adorable in her hot pink suit.

She said, in her unmistakable Dr. Ruth accent, "I haff to commend you all - for coming outtt in the vind and snow on suchh an awfful nightt - I promisss you that you will all haf GREAT SEX for the rest of your lives!"

I then went back out into the snow, where my Spidey Sense started tingling. A man approached me on the street and said "Hi!" and I said "Hello," and kept walking. He stopped and said "Come on, baby, can't I come home with you to warm you up?" I kept walking, not looking back, but I could tell that he was following me. He eventually gave up and turned around, which was good, because I didn't want the dream to end in violence.

Then I woke up.

Not really.

Then I got to D's and said "What a freaking weird night."

Weird night, eh? Ah, New York.

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Incidentally, the movie we saw was called "In My Country" and starred Juliette Binoche and Samuel L. Jackson in a story that follows two journalists as they experience the post-apartheid Reconciliation, a series of trials in which those who committed atrocities confronted their victims and were then granted amnesty.

Conceptually interesting - I didn't even know that these trials happened.

Instead of actually being interesting, though, it resorted to awful cliches and romance and didn't have the depth that a story that takes place during this time should have.

Additionally, I had a really hard time with some of the South African accents. Some of them were good, but I couldn't understand some of the people. They didn't sound South African. Juliette Binoche's accent sounded like a combination of Scottish and Russian.

Please do not see it.

Thank you.