Disoriented

What is it about travelling that convinces me that I haven't figured anything out?

I suppose its natural to have no desire to return to one's actual life when one is away from it. I suppose that's the point of taking time away.

Perhaps the key is to take enough time away. Then, presumably, one starts missing one's actual life.

Is that how it's supposed to work?

When I first arrived in Florida, I said things like "I can't believe that people live like this!" and "Why would anyone want this?" and "What if you want to go to a different supermarket?" and "Why does anyone need a three car garage?"

After a day and a half, I instead was saying things like "If I lived here, I'd be so relaxed" and "I'd stare out at this lake and maybe even fish and not think of anything but the stars" and "I'd be giddy watching those construction workers all day" and "Perhaps my snow-builds-character-theory is misinformed."

I am back from the orange-grove painted and perfectly landscaped world of sunny and sparkly Florida. I am disoriented by New York City's dark skies and the rain and the city sounds I'd quickly forgotten.

It's amazing how quickly you can get used to something that is nothing like your life.

It's amazing how quickly you can forget science, and how quickly you can get wrapped
up in fantasies involving everything but what you actually have.

It's amazing how much it saddened me to receive D's voicemail just now that said "Hi - insert secret affectionate and terribly cute pet name here - its beautiful and sunny and we're going to Disney World today so hopefully I'll talk to you tonight." My sadness didn't come from missing him or the sun. I thought "Man, I'd love to go to Disney World." Wtf!? I don't like Disney World! I thought the overabundance of Disney knick-knacks and wall adornments that cluttered my first post-college apartment and annoyed the hell out of me had cured me of any nostalgia that could ever make its way to the surface, but no! I want to go to Disney World.

Damn you, perfect Florida, for making me want to retire right now.