After The Pixies show on Saturday night I stopped by one of the millions of Duane Reades near Penn Station to buy wrapping paper for Christmas presents. I bought fabulous wrapping paper, the type that is expected of my presents. I wasn't sure it would be enough, but figured I'd just get more if the need presented itself.
I wrapped the first batch of presents last night in my delirium, and confirmed that I didn't have enough paper.
"That's fine," I thought, "I'll go to CVS tomorrow and buy some more, and shall use the coupon I got after using my Extra Care Card last week! Wee hee! Four dollars off!!!"
When I woke up this morning, the presents that I had wrapped in the cool textured pink sparkly paper had unwrapped themselves! Apparently tape and this sort of paper don't get along. "Fine," I thought, "I'll just get more paper at CVS. I had to get more paper anyway."
Today it was 5 degrees out, and felt like many below. Many, many, many below.
I was in a minor panic because today was the only day I could buy wrapping paper, as tomorrow I have my fancy haircut after work (!) and then plans afterwards, and I might be heading back to MA on Wednesday night!
Normally this wouldn't cause a panic, but man. THE COLD. Did I mention it was cold today? Like fingers sticking to doors cold. Like contemplating not eating lunch so as not to have to go outside cold.
I decided to brave the obscene cold despite my sickness and went to CVS after work.
There was no decent wrapping paper. It was fifteen minutes of unnecessary not-on-the-commute walking, and I thought I was going to die.
"No worries," I thought, "There is a Duane Reade on 14th Street... only two blocks from the subway... I can handle two blocks... only two... extra
... blocks...."
I jumped on the train and went uptown two stops to the Duane Reade, which was ON FIRE. I'm not kidding. There was a fire in the building that houses the Duane Reade. Fire trucks, police cars, chaos, tape, pedestrians being shuffled out of the way. Wtf? This is the second time in my life that my destination has been on fire. Bizarre.
I walked two blocks west of where I was, hoping to find another one, but I couldn't. What are the odds of there not being a Duane Reade? I knew there was another one three or four blocks east, but man was it COLD.
Like freezing.
Like my eyes were numb freezing.
Like you feel like your face will crack off freezing.
Like you've lived your entire life in the Northeast and still find yourself ill equipped to handle such cold despite the fact that you are wearing 47 layers of stuff freezing.
I decided to go back to Williamsburg and treat myself to a potato knish and hot bowl of broccoli cheddar soup, but of course The Bagel Store had no soup left. I then went to the Williamsburg Pharmacy where I bought three rolls of wrapping paper (because they only freaking come in sets of three) even though I only wanted the red shiny roll. The other two rolls have hideous Christmas patterns.
I got home and unravelled the roll of red, shiny paper, which isn't even enough to wrap one freaking shirt box, which is what needs to be wrapped.
Hmmmmmmm.
I wouldn't be so cross if it wasn't so cold, and if everything in NY wasn't such a project! All I want is PRETTY SPARKLY WRAPPING PAPER!!! IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH!?!?!? CVS!!! Why have you failed me?!?! I have stuck by you in this Duane Reade Universe, but you have let me down. So disappointing.
Ahhh. I feel better after that rant. Why do the holidays make people crazy?
I think its because when its cold out all you want to do is be inside, under your covers while in your pajamas, taking shots of Nyquil while cuddling your stuffed animal or, better yet, a person. Instead you find yourself on an absurd quest in subzero conditions looking for an item that is going to be ripped to shreds and unappreciated but is super important to you because people always say "You always have the best looking presents!" You can't let the people down!
I guess it just sucks when you wasted your night walking around catching pneumonia and will still have ugly presents.
Oh well.
I am going to Nyquil now.
Word.
Monday, December 20, 2004
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5 comments:
You do have the best wrapped presents I have ever seen. I am sorry for your struggles. You may have thought of this already, but may I suggest that you try using a different kind of tape with the cool, sparkly, pink paper? I realize that doesn't solve the problem of the fact that you don't have enough paper... but maybe you should get new tape, too.
I am such a lazy wrapper. I buy bags, mostly, because that is easy and I have also found "pre-wrapped" boxes that I use. Lazy to the extreme.
Question, what was the other destination that was on fire? I think you posted that a while ago but I forget. Was it some bar or club that you and a friend were going to? That is a weird coicidence. How often are buildings on fire?
Or even crazier -- what if you have a stalker who sets things on fire to get your attention? He'd have to be psychic, though, to know where you were gonna go. Hmm... a psychic arsonist stalker... now all you need is Ashley Judd, and this movie just writes itself. (And it'll look like it, too!)
For a title, I'd recommend 'Kiss the Twisted Double Jeopardy'.
"Kiss the Twisted Double Jeopardy." Heh.
I was referring to the burning down of India Quality in Kenmore Square 7 or so years ago - do you remember that? I was like "Dudes, we HAVE to go to this awesome restaurant in Kenmore Square! It's the best Indian restaurant EVER!"
Someone said (maybe it was German?) "Do you think we should go? Apparently there was a big fire in Kenmore Square..."
I was like "Who cares? Kenmore Square is huge and I'm sure its been taken care of," so we went there and India Quality was GONE.
It had burnt down.
And then they rebuilt it, but it wasn't as awesome as the original.
Which reminds me - when they redid Deli Haus it also sucked. Deli Haus was the best thing in Boston. How dare they? Does anyone know if even the crappy one is still there? Kenmore is all new and posh now.
Hmph.
And, as far as buying new tape goes, I thought of this, but then I thought I didn't want to waste money on tape that still might not stick, because what if nothing sticks to this paper? Now that I have no money, I can't be frivolous about such things, which is really sad. Although, I should probably just ask Roommate if she has another type of tape. That would be a good idea.
I am a big believer in good ribbon. The paper is important, yes, but if you have nice ribbon, the presents look awesome. And I'm a huge fan of shiny carboard boxes which you can get at I Party and also at Drug Faire in New Providence. All you do is tie a fancy ribbon and everyone goes, "Oooo!" But the boxes are expensive, especially if you need a big one.
I feel a similar stress when picking out birthday cards, because I went on a streak where I picked out really really good ones for people, and everyone said how I get the best cards, and now I have to get the best cards or I'll feel like I let everyone down.
M
Deli Haus turned into IHOP which has been closed now for at least 5 years. I would love to know why noone has done anything with that yet.
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