I Guess Still Have the Ability

When N and P were in NYC over the holidays, N spoke of her having had some sort of heinous food poisoning that resulted in her having to be taken to the hospital. She threw up. Lots. P, however, didn't, and said that doctors say that some adults just don't have the ability to vomit.

I have a pretty good record as an adult. I told them this, and we hypothesized that I perhaps no longer have the requirement of vomiting during stomach ailments. I haven't thrown up since age 7 due to anything non-self-inflicted (read: anything other than alcohol or sadness). I threw up minorly when I had the kidney infection (but it was only when I had something to drink or eat and wasn't terribly dramatic).

My over-20-year string of good luck ended yesterday when I contracted the stomach flu by which everyone at work has been stricken. I forced myself to eat lunch at 2:00 when I realized that it hadn't even occurred to me to eat. I wasn't at all hungry, and when I started eating I realized something was wrong, very wrong. I forced down a yogurt, two bites of an apple, and one bite of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Half an hour later things didn't seem right, so I left work and 15 minutes later was jumping out of a cab to toss the yogurt, apple and peanut butter sandwich bites all over 27th street's sidewalk.

Did anyone help? No! What would I have given for a stick of gum or sip of water? Ah, New Yorkers, a fabulous breed. I suppose most people would feel that leaving someone to themselves would be best - as it is terribly embarrassing and personal and, well, just terrible. But maybe when I was done... a simple "Are you ok, miss?" would have made things far more ok. The cab driver at least waited for me, and asked if I was ok, and drove me home like a maniac, which was nice and the only time I appreciated a cab driver's driving like a maniac.

I spent the remainder of the day being sick or being on my back experiencing fevers and chills and aches and pains and general misery. I think the happiest moment of my life to date was when D got home from work. Just seeing him made me feel better. He is a rock star and returned from the grocery store with broths and Pedialyte and popsicles and psychic English muffins (how did he know that I like English muffins when sick? bless him!).

I am home sick today but not feeling as sick. It must have been a one day flu, but I don't want to risk making another scene on the sidewalk. Plus, I've had only half a banana, half an English muffin and a popsicle since yesterday morning so I may not be at my most coherent. Plus, one of my work-pet-peeves is when people come to work while sick, thus contaminating everyone.

The weekend was good. It was good because it was chill. I spent Friday night selling the piano to a rock star who is friends with one of my favorite artists (tears, heartache, etc.) and then finishing the convert-tapes-to-DVDs project and laughed over and over again at how absurd we all were. I've become so much more mellow with the years. It was hard to watch the love and creativity in my eyes. I have to figure out a way to get those things back.

I finished my book waiting up for D, who left the house at 7:00 to "grab a drink" with his friend M and didn't return until 2 am and didn't return any of my calls. It's not that I want to know where he is (or suspect him of being somewhere that is not where he said he would be), I just want to know that he's ok and would like to know when he's coming back. It's hard to sleep when you don't know if/when you'll be awoken. He made no mention of the messages the following morning, and I started getting mad. How could he not say "Sorry I didn't return your calls?" or "Why do you have to call me, you psycho?" He would have had no reason to say the latter as I had never called him like that before, and since he had called me earlier in the week when I said I'd be home by 10 but didn't get home until 11:30. Of course I returned his call as soon as I got it, because I didn't want him to worry and also I thought it was cute that he was concerned.

He eventually brought it up, saying he just got the messages (at 11:30 am). Understandable, as he rarely has his phone on and when he does tends to ignore it. I was glad he brought it up, because I was at a loss for what to do. I couldn't believe he was ignoring the messages, and couldn't tell if I was mad that he didn't return them or that he was pretending that they didn't exist.

I brunched with R as I'd made plans with him when mad at D. We then looked at glasses, and I found a pair that I want to buy while I still have vision insurance and am awaiting D's availability for a final consult. I rushed home to sell my broken camera via Craigslist, but the dude was a no-show. Curses.

I made phone calls for hours, and then D and I left the apartment to begin our NR birthday evening. NR's birthday party wasn't starting until 12:30 am, so we decided that the only way we would last that long would be to pack the night full of different events to give to us the momentum we would need. We started with dinner, but encountered the pre-theater crowd so ended up at a cute sandwich place that is our new favorite place. We then went to see "Reign Over Me," which wasn't a great movie but was very enjoyable so I loved it anyway. Don Cheadle is the best actor ever, and I never thought Adam Sandler would make me cry like a baby. It was a great New York movie, too. We headed to Dave and Buster's in the theater building, as we've walked by it a zillion times but had never been due to its cheesiness and also never having time, but we had hours to kill! We turned right around when we learned that there was a $5 cover. We went to the Hello Kitty store (again) and then ended up at this weird new French-bistro-style restaurant in Port Authority that we've been obsessed with, because wtf? We drank rums and diets and D initiated a talk about "the relationship" for the first time ever (he was inspired by the movie) and presented his different definitions of intimacy. Weird! PW showed up just as the conversation was getting good (and D was starting to see my point that we clearly don't know each other that well if I don't know whether or not we're engaged) and then we headed to Koreatown for some awesome karaoke.

D and I had placed bets as to how long we'd last - my vote was two hours, D's was three. He said "We always stay longer than we think we will because of the karaoke time warp." We stayed, of course, for four hours and were home by about 4:30 am and asleep by 5:00. We are too old for this.

We slept until noon and wasted the day doing nothing. The big event was the smoothest Craigslist transaction ever - dude called to ask where I lived and he was coincidentally 1.5 blocks away from my apartment, showed up one minute later, didn't even examine the photo albums, handed me a $20 and disappeared.

D came to the Amish Market with me because the week before I'd said "I think it would be nice to do something as a couple - like maybe we could go grocery shopping together some time." He's adorable for remembering. We made crepes and watched "Watership Down," which was trippy but not nearly as trippy as I'd remembered.

It's funny - in my mind the whole movie was half an hour of the little rabbit having a total psychotic break (in reality approximately 3 seconds), half an hour of the rabbit that had been attacked explaining the destruction of the rabbit fort (why can't I remember what its called now? in reality approximately one minute) and an hour of the dog tearing the rabbits to shreds (in reality approximately 2 seconds and no shreds). When I see things like this I realize how visceral things can be for children, and how things stick with children for eternity. When we watched "The Black Cauldron" as adults we were terribly disappointed because it wasn't scary. Ah, imagination.

That was the weekend, and yesterday was napping and misery and love.

Hopefully tonight I will get my deposit on the piano and will sell the broken camera and watch "Blood Diamond" and maybe, just maybe, I will write a song. Yes! I will write a song, because I am confined and alone.

Awesome.

Until tomorrow...