How Much Do You Want For This?

How am I supposed to know?

I braved the downpour last night to display a fraction of my childhood possessions to some judges at a vintage toy store.

Guy 1, behind the counter, was encouraging and enthusiastic.

Guy 2 - not all there, in a clinical sense, but very Star Wars enthusiastic.

Guy 3 was the messenger, the man designated to go through my nostalgia and determine what is and is not worth the time of The Owner.

He took out a tray, cleaned it off, and said "Now I will go through your stuff."

While this was happening, Guy 1 said "What do you want for those?" I ended up selling the stained tauntaun, discolored white abominable snowman guy who slays the tauntaun, and the big green lizard thing from Star Wars that appears for like two seconds in the film to him for a total of $15. I was thrilled, as he was buying them for his 5 year old son who, for some wonderful reason, adores the old toys. My heart was warmed.

Meanwhile Guy 3 picked through my toys, separating them on a basis unbeknownst to me.

"How much do you want for these?"

"I don't know... how much should I want?"

"I can't tell you. You tell me how much you want and then I tell you whether or not we can do it."

Dear god. How am I supposed to know? $1 a figure? $2? More for the pins? What about the Micro Machines playsets?

I had no idea. What's best in a situation like this? Lowball so its a sure sell or highball on the off chance that they'll give you a ridiculous amount of money?

No. Clue.

While I considered my options, they kept saying "Do you really want to sell these?" "Why are you selling these?" "Isn't it killing you to get rid of these?" "I have no choice!" I kept saying. I have no choice. Choice with regard to certain matters in my life has been removed. Thank you, Parents, for making things even more difficult than they need to be.

I deliberated. I agonized, trying to put a price on my childhood. I looked at the infinite collection of vintage toys they were selling, trying to get an idea of what the mark up would be, what things were worth.

"These are GI Joe guns," said Guy 3, judgmental.

I made something up. I was firm.

He said "So you want $101 for all of this?"

"Uh... yeah, I guess."

Right. I wanted $101. That's what my Star Wars collection was worth. "Hey, let's just say $100," I said, sarcastically generous.

He said "There's no way he'll give you that. Look, we don't want these (he separated out figures that they had many of and that were missing capes and weapons and helmets)... that will bring it down to $89. How about that?" I nodded.

He excused himself to call The Owner. I heard him saying things like "She Ra's but the hair isn't as mint as the ones that came in last week... The Garbage Pail Kids might be first edition... the pins are in perfect condition... Jabba... complete Vader... no helmets..."

In the meantime, Guy 1 bought a Micro Machines C-3PO/Cantina playset and the Max Rebo Band for $10. Guy 2 bought a Micro Machines R2-D2/Jabba's Palace playset and a commemorative coin.

Guy 3 returned and said "He'll give you $40 for all of it or $20 for Jabba and the Ewoks."

No!

Again I deliberated, in agony. $40 for everything? For 40 action figures and 8 She Ra's and 7 pins and the coins and the loose Micro Machines and the Micro Machines and the Garbage Pail Kids?

I kept asking them what they thought I should do.

They kept saying "We really can't tell you."

I was tempted. $40 to just be finished. $40 to not have to deal with Ebay, at least for these toys. $40 to a store that would turn around and sell them for triple that, at least.

I couldn't decide. I went back and forth.

I decided to take the $20 and just take everything back home with me, where it will sit for eternity not being sold on Ebay.

Guy 3 said "I think you made the right decision. Now. How much can I buy a She Ra for?"

Sweet.