Ulcer

My head is going to explode.

Readers, I ask you this. When faced with the prospect of paying double rent for eternity, is it ridiculous to discriminate against a potential apartment-inhabitant because her name is "Barbie?" Do I really want someone named "Barbie" living in my apartment? I think not, but I called her anyway.

I am trying to be multi-tasker extraordinaire, and I want to crumble.

I was being address-changer of super ability, until we (we! both our names on the envelope!) received a copy of our lease in the mail yesterday, only to learn that the realtors had given us the incorrect zip code. When D left, I yelled "Motherfu*****ers!" at the top of my lungs and threw the lease across the room, then sat down and quietly re-changed whatever addresses could be re-changed without arousing suspicion.

Today I've been making calls to change addresses. Again.

I am also trying to be super-realtor, and to rent my apartment on my own. This is difficult when you have a landlord who is prone to yelling at you and prone to wanting to f*ck you over as much as possible for breaking your lease. Which I guess is understandable, because it is not nice to break a lease.

The thing that irks me most about this (and there are so many things of irksome nature) is that they stand to profit by my leaving. They are going to charge the new tenant $220 a month more than I pay, so by my breaking the lease a year early they will make an extra $2640 for doing absolutely nothing. And then they're charging me on top of that to break the lease.

Also irksome is the fact that "the management" wants to go through a realtor, and if I find a tenant, the tenant still has to go through the realtor and pay an exorbitant fee even though the realtors didn't do anything.

I am also trying to be master-coordinator, coordinating multiple moves (we did Move 1 last night) and have the godforsaken piano moved, which is causing me no end of agita. I wanted to hire the same guys who moved it before, because they were awesome and friendly and trustworthy and, most importantly, accomodating.

I emailed them last week and they wrote back saying "We can move your apartment on Saturday! If not Saturday, then Tuesday. Give us a call on Saturday."

I called on Saturday and there was no response.

I emailed and said "Let's do Tuesday."

No response.

I called on Monday:

Me: Can we still do it tomorrow?
Him: Yes, oh, yes, sorry I didn't call you back this weekend. I didn't forget. We can do it Tuesday. What time works for you?

I listed the times. He said he'd call back Monday afternoon to confirm.

Guess what? You guessed it! He didn't call.

I called on Tuesday morning.

Him: Oh... right...You said after 5:30?
Me: Yes, after 5:30. Tonight.
Him: OK, yes, we'll do it tonight. I'll call you later to tell you the time.

No call.

I called at 5:30.

Him: Oh... well... we're still tooling around in NJ. Moving pianos. I'll call you later to let you know what time. What's the latest we can do it?
Me: 8:00.

He called (miracle!) at 7:30.

Him: We're still in NJ. Can we do it at 9:00?
Me: No.

Absolutely not! Because you know it would have been more like 10:00, and I think its horribly impolite to move anything at that hour, especially a giant piano that involves many men grunting etc.

Him: How about tomorrow?"
Me: When?
Him: Morning?
Me: What time?
Him: Well, before work. What time you need to be in work at?
Me: 10:00, at the latest.
Him: So we could move it at 9:30?
Me: No. Start moving it at 8:30 at the latest so I can leave the new place by 9:30.
Him: Oh... well... I'll give you a call tonight to let you know if we can do that. That way we can do it first thing tomorrow.

Did he call? OF COURSE NOT!!!!

He did call this afternoon "confirming" to move it tonight, but again he didn't know what time because he has a job in The Bronx and blah blah blah. I already hired another company, that committed to a window of time, and that's that. I left him a message and said "No, sorry, I called another company because you didn't call last night to confirm."

It makes me sad, because they were so very awesome before, and I really liked them, but whatever. Run your business like a business. Don't blow people off. Don't be noncomittal about my piano!!!

OK. I need to go to the post office to get a change-of-address correction form and eat some lunch and work work work and then get out of here to show my apartment to Barbie.