Conspiracy

The weekend is over and I am thrilled.

I had fun this weekend, but the plot also thickens.

Bad things that have happened recently:

1. No hot water in apartment.

2. No heat in apartment.

3. Cockroach infestation in apartment (traps are not working! will have to involve super; this is not only gross but makes me feel gross - I run a tight, clean ship in that apartment and I can't comprehend why these roaches are torturing me! D blames renovations in the building but I can't help but take it personally).

4. IPod battery in the process of dying.

5. Eye-piece protector on digital camera vanished and cannot be replaced unless I want to pay $150, which is freaking absurd.

6. Bird crapped all over fabulous pink coat. I was supposed to meet D at the 8th Avenue stop on the blue line to go to some galleries. We decided to meet underground as the weather looked ominous. I was at 34th Street, about to get on the train when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and she said "Ma'am, I don't know if anyone's told you this, but a bird shit all over your pink coat." Oh my god! Ma'am?!?! Oh my god... the PINK COAT! I quickly ran into the Tick Tock Diner, where I assessed the situation, which was bad bad bad. It was BROWN, all over my coat, and in three places! I ripped the coat off and went home. I had to make the snap decision that salvaging the coat was more important than meeting D on time. I don't have enough money to be replacing a coat, and I am too attached to that coat to just give up on it. I called D and left him a message, fully knowing he'd never get it since he was underground. I ran home, freezing since I didn't want to wear the coat. I cleaned it off with a combination of water, Tide, and hand soap, all the while throwing shit-filled paper towels into the toilet bowl.

7. Toilet bowl overflowed due to bird shit-filled paper towels.

8. As I was leaving the apartment, running, to meet D, I noticed that bird shit was also all over my pants. D was not underground when I got there. I figured he'd given up and just left after I was 45 minutes late. I decided, on a whim, to go outside to see if he'd left a message, and I ran into him as he was getting my messages. This was actually a good thing, because had I gone out any other exit I would have checked my messages, there wouldn't have been a message from him since he was literally in the process of checking his messages, and I'd have gone home, thinking he was mad. So this was a good thing.

9. Got caught in a rain storm on Saturday night while waiting in line for half an hour.

10. Watch stopped. Not because of battery - battery is new-ish, so I think watch is no longer for this world.

11. Credit card(s) didn't work at the movie ticket kiosk, which means that I'll probably have to contest the charges on all the cards because you know when machines tell you they don't work they are actually taking your money. Seven times.

12. Change explosion from bag due to mystery hole. So embarrassing. Still have no idea from where change fountain originated. Luckily E was there to pick up stray quarters and dimes and to prevent my having a total meltdown.

This being said, some good things this weekend:

1. New glasses - a big hit!

2. Winterized!!! Although - this should go in the first list - only have one of favorite pink mittens, which is suspicious given that I packed them to move. Why would I have packed only one? As of right now I have only a spring coat and fingerless gloves, which is not ideal given the weather.

3. PhotoPlus Expo (free!!!) at Javitz Center - shock to confidence but very exciting nonetheless, mainly because I got to indulge my desire to attend a conference at the Javitz Center and learned that the food court at the Javitz Center is extreme. It was overwhelming and stressful and since I don't have my own real camera yet, it was fairly pointless. I did, however, sign up for the ICP's mailing list.



4. Galleries - saw some lame stuff but also some good and/or freaky stuff and got to hold D's hand, which made me happy because I haven't seen that much of him lately. He tried to cheer me up about the Pink Coat Calamity, and I said "Dude, you have to just let me be upset about this for five minutes," and within five minutes of silence I was fine.

5. Pumpkins! And tango in Chelsea Market!!





6. Dinner party!!!

7. Demetri Martin!!! I got in trouble for taking this photo. I wasn't even using the flash (obviously). Demetri Martin is clearly and mostly influenced by Mitch Hedberg, so his show caused much happiness. I guess they're calling his brand of humor "observational." I'd never heard of him because I guess having heard of him requires a TV - he writes for Conan. He's doing a month-long residency at the Village Theater. I laughed so hard I almost passed out because I couldn't breathe correctly.



Here is a gratuitous photo of Jonathan Safran-Foer from Barnes and Noble last week. I meant to write lots about this last week but didn't get to upload the photos until last night.



There is a backlash against this boy and it troubles me. I have been thinking a lot about the backlash phenomenon as of late. If you thought something was good, why does what's happened since discolor what once pleased you? Everything is Illuminated is a good book. End of story. People liked it when it came out. Are people annoyed that he's successful? Are people annoyed by his demeanor? Even still, does this mean the book is bad? No.

It's like this with music too. VB said, as a possible conversation topic to deflect tension, "We could just talk about how much we all think Weezer sucks!" I said "I don't think Weezer sucks." Bench Buddy said "So I guess you're just ignoring the last two albums?" "Yes, I liked the first one." "But doesn't the recent crap ruin it for you?" "No, because the first album is good." We then discussed Death Cab for Cutie, and I was like "Look, yeah, they sold out, and that's weak, but that doesn't mean the first couple albums are now void. I loved them. I listened to them all the time. I still think they're good."

Same thing with Liz Phair. I don't know what is up with her right now and I am disappointed in and by her, but I still listen to the first three albums in heavy rotation.

Incidentally, Anne Patchett was there for the reading and said something about Jonathan Safran-Foer dating another author. Does anyone know who he's dating?

8. Saw Mirrormask.

9. Took pictures. It's been too long. Class has discouraged me. But I actually my homework this weekend (some of it, not all). This is "High Key #3."



10. Finally told D that I've been less-than-satisfied with NYC and he said all the right things, which surprised me in such a lovely way and made me happier.

So that's that.

The heat is on in the apartment (finally!), the coat has been dropped off for dry cleaning, I might go home to ease the homesickness and nostalgia and trick myself into thinking things are cozy because its fall - I will walk on rugs and sit near the fire and hear silence outside at 3am, I am looking forward to a party in my old house and to being able to be in someone else's house without feeling claustrophobic, I will become a person who doesn't need a watch and will just accept that my camera is unsightly, I will talk to my super tonight about roaches and will take a personal day when someone shows up to spray my apartment, I will make plans in NYC and will have things to look forward to and will pursue further education and then fabulous new business idea and change life and make loads of money and have job satisfaction and then I won't have to worry about money or the uncertain future.

Right.

OK!

With that, I should work. Mondays are so difficult.