People

Now. I'm not one to hate people in general, or think that people are generally incompetent, or to think that people are undeserving of chances. I ususally give people the benefit of the doubt.

Nor am I an aggressive consumer. I try to be nice, patient, understanding. Nobody likes working. Nobody loves being at their job.

Last night, however, I lost my shit for the first time as a consumer.

The scenario was as follows:

Me. Trying to pick up some photos I'd ordered online through Kodak Gallery, which I'd had shipped to the CVS around the corner from work. I've done this many times. You select the photos you want developed online, they send you an email telling you when they've arrived at CVS. Easy.

I received the email on Wednesday, but waited until Thursday to pick the photos up just to make sure that they'd actually be there.

I got to CVS and walked upstairs to the photo desk. There was not an employee. I looked around but saw noone. I waited patiently for a few minutes and still nobody appeared. I walked downstairs and asked the CVS employee who uselessly stands near the door "Do you know if anyone's working at the photo desk?"

He asked someone behind a cash register. They shook their head. "No," he said.

"Oh."

"Did you need something?"

"Yes."

"What do you need?"

"Well, I just wanted to pick up my film that I had developed."

"Huh."

"Do you think you could get them for me?"

I was already frustrated at this point, because I should have just snuck behind the counter and taken them myself. They were prepaid, so I'd have had no guilt. I was also annoyed that he didn't immediately say "I'll get them for you!" because finding photos doesn't really require a skill. The only thing you need to know is the alphabet.

And so it began.

You know the story. There are a bunch of baskets. Each represents a letter or two. There were about 20 envelopes in the "L" basket.

He looked at three of them and was absolutely dumbfounded.

He kept looking at me and then back to the three envelopes.

"How do you spell your name again?"

"L-A-R..." I kept repeating.

He kept looking at the same three envelopes.

"I don't think they're here..."

"No, they're here. I got the email stating that they are here."

He looked, then, at two more envelopes.

"It would be a rather large envelope. 100 or so photos."

"I don't think they're here. How do you spell your last name again?"

"L-A-R..." I said instead of screaming "HOW ABOUT YOU LOOK AT ALL OF THE FREAKING ENVELOPES INSTEAD OF THE FIRST THREE YOU IDIOT!?"

"They're not here."

"Yes, they are. Look. They would be in a yellow envelope. I ordered them online so they won't be in those blue envelopes you're looking at."

He grabbed a yellow envelope from "R" and said "Like this?"

"Yes, like that," I said, as he returned it and then looked at the blue and red envelopes in the L basket. "No, just look at the yellow ones."

"It's not here."

"Yes, it is. I've done this a million times. They're here."

He didn't look at the yellow envelopes.

"Do you want to come back tomorrow and see if they're here?"

"No, I need them TONIGHT" I said, lying. What I should have said was "Are you saying that when I come back tomorrow there will be someone who will actually look at the envelopes and give me my photos?"

"Well, they're not here."

I said "Listen, if they're not here tonight, they're not going to be here tomorrow."

"They're not here."

"Do you think maybe you could look at all of the envelopes, please?"

He looked at four or five of them.

"They're not here."

"Yes, they are."

"No," and then ask the person behind me if they need help.

This is when I got insane. "Listen, how about I just go back there and look through the envelopes? I'm sure they're there."

"They're not."

I said "Listen, how about you do me a favor and look at that giant yellow envelope on the side of the L basket and see what it says." There was a huge yellow envelope separated out from the other envelopes, on its own, on its side on the side of the basket with a smaller envelope attached to it.

He grabbed it and said "No, this isn't you."

I said "Can I just look at it?"

And it was, of course, mine. With a big freaking L-A-R on it. I said "You know what? These ARE MINE! See? This is my name." I threw the other envelope at him and ran out of there.

***

Incompetent. This job is not hard. This job requires zero skills. Zero! Literacy at most. Maybe I am being a snob, but I feel like CVS employees should be able to read.

***

I almost lost it.

***

This morning I was sort of out of it after having been up later than I should have been. I needed to get money for the weekend, so walked into the Bank of America ATM on 34th Street in a daze. I approached the "All Transactions" machine and a guy groaned. I hadn't seen him. He was finishing his deposit slip. I said "Oh! I'm sorry!" as I backed away from the ATM. He said "I just have to do this really quickly..." and I was like "No, really, totally my fault. Go nuts. I'm sorry..."

As he made his deposit, the other ATM opened up and I withdrew my cash. On the street after I'd finished, he came up to me and said "You have yourself a nice day, ok?"

Which, of course, guaranteed that I had a nice day, because how nice of him! I'd had such a bad night, and I was happy to have someone be kind to me.

***

I was in a daze on Wednesday after having been sick on Tuesday. I really shouldn't have been at work. I wasn't at my most functional.

I didn't have much time for lunch as I was trying to finish Tuesday's and Wednesday's work in one day while delirious. I decided to grab a quick slice of pizza at the pizza place downstairs.

After ordering my pizza, I went grab a coke from the cooler, which was three steps away from the cashier to my right, behind me. Three steps!

I turned around, slowly (since I was delirious), when this giant woman, who'd been at the cooler, turned around in the opposite direction and slammed right into me. She nearly knocked me over.

I lost my footing because I was in a daze.

In slooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww motion I almost fell onto two men seated next to the scene. It was one of those cartoon moments - where a building is about to topple but doesn't quite - and I was looking at them hoping that I wouldn't end up in one of their laps with my pizza on the other's lap.

When I didn't fall over, the woman said "Girl, I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, my fault, I'm really out of it right now."

"No, no, I weigh a hundred pounds more than you."

"No, really, its ok."

"Girl, you need to put some MEAT. ON. YOU." She laughed. So did I.

Heh.

I smiled and sat with some strangers since there wasn't really anywhere to sit, and everyone was all "Are you ok?" "Are you alright?" "That was crazy!" and it made me really happy, because everyone was nice.

***

So yeah. Incompetent people. Nice people.

I've been here a year and my assessment of the people in NYC is as follows:

Strangers are nice. People are much more talkative with strangers on the street. People are approachable. You can walk into any bar or restaurant or movie by yourself and find someone to talk to.

Incompetence level, however, is high. Since moving here, I've had to deal with the bitchiest, most incompetent, most impatient people in the world.

I don't know what any of this means.

I do know, however, that I am still a bit delirious and not fully recovered from the flu-ish thing.

***

I am off to The Parents' this weekend to go through old toys and notebooks and goodies so that they will throw away and save what is appropriate. They may actually be moving after 10 years of threating to do so! Very exciting. I am hoping to make a killing on EBay with all of the nostalgia I dig up. Wish me luck! I'm sure I will have more photos of He-Man action figures than you can stand next week.