Parents' Visit to NYC - Take 2

(Note: this entry is LONG and is mainly for me, but feel free to read as much as you can about my family's visit to NYC!)

My parents and siblings had planned on spending a couple of days with me in NYC, assuming, of course, the weather held out and everything would go smoothly. I don't know why parents are so obsessed and fearful of weather. "Yes, we are very excited about coming to NY, but you never know - there could be a blizzard, in which case we will not. We'll just have to see."

They are planning to come for my birthday, but only, of course, if it is not snowing. And they are worried now. They are adorable.

We arrived on Wednesday after a noneventful trip in the Camry. My father kept saying "We're going to hit traffic. It's going to be terrible," and I kept saying "No, Dad, there's really not going to be any, because we're not going to be in the city, and we're going to be hitting Brooklyn at around 4, and nobody's working, and plus nobody in New York has a car, I really wouldn't worry." Still he insisted. The traffic was going to be cataclysmic! What would we do? Woe is us! Of course there was no traffic.

He had directions printed out, and handed them to my sister in the backseat because she is the only one who is trustworthy with directions. She read him the directions, and still he asked to see them and said things like "Are you sure?" to which Sister responded "Dad, I KNOW HOW TO READ NUMBERS!!!! AHHHHHH!"

When we got to Brooklyn we were all starving and irritable, so we snacked on the rations my mother brought, which were enough food to feed like 43 people for a week. She called me on Tuesday from the supermarket and asked "What do you kids eat?" because she wanted to provide food, and I was like "Ma, really, don't worry, there is food in NY" but her motherly instincts would allow her to be nothing less than prepared for war. She is lovely because she bought a gallon of milk and then soy milk for my brother. She also brought cheese curls and Tostitos and both mild and medium salsas. And Oatmeal. And bananas, which were a big hit.

We chilled out for a while and then it was time for dinner! Brother wasn't feeling particularly well, so we decided to have some comfort food, but the comfort food place was closed! Which is weird, because its called Anytime, but is not, apparently, opened at any time. Anytime is across from Sea, which is a horribly trendy and delicious Thai restaurant that is bizarrely enough reasonably priced. My parents, for the first time ever, ate Thai food! And they liked it!!! Breakthrough!

On Thursday morning I asked my father to take me to the post office, because I had a piece of certified mail there that had been waiting for me for months. I never went because I wasn't sure where the post office was, nor was I available during the hours it was open. He was cool with it, but kept saying "Do you know where the post office is?" I knew where it was because I'd consulted a map, but when we got to where I thought it was things ceased being a grid and I was confused. I apologized, and said "All we have to do is swing back around and take that other street" which became my father saying "Do you really know what you're doing? We should ask for directions." "Dad, its right back there." "No, we should ask someone if they know where the post office is." "It's RIGHT THERE. Just go down this street." "No, I'm pulling over and asking." "Dad, nobody is going to know where the post office is!" He asked a bunch of people, none of whom knew where the post office was. I'd nearly convinced him to drive when someone knocked on the window (someone we'd asked a few moments back for the location of the post office) and said "The post office- its right there - I can see it!"

Yep. It was a few blocks behind us, exactly where I thought it was. My father said "Yeah, why don't you just get out and walk. I'll just wait here." So I did. And then waited in the post office for 30 minutes only to find that the piece of mail had been sent back, and that the post office had never sent the final notification. I tried to be mad, but I was beat down by other things, mainly being made to feel clueless.

We then went to the Museum of Natural History, which is my favoritest place in the world and which is very well lit. (Ironically, in the very same exhibit that I praised as "well laid out" that was misheard as "well lit" by M some years back, my brother said "this exhibit has the worst layout ever.") We'd originally planned on going to the new MOMA, but I decided at the last minute that the MOMA is not parent-friendly and that it would be better to check it out at some point with my siblings when the parents were not present. The family adored the museum.

Afterwards, we were slated to check out the tree in Rockefeller Center but everyone was too tired. I didn't care, as I've seen it before. We decided to go to dinner, which, of course, was a major project. I said "There's an awesome Italian restaurant in Union Square that I went to with M and A. We should go there." My father was skeptical - I still don't know if he was concerned about the cost or my ability to discern quality dining from poor dining, which is ridiculous as my father thinks Pizzeria Uno is fine dining. He just wasn't into it, and wanted to go back to Little Italy, which is not my favorite place.

I said "Look, I don't want to go to Little Italy. We did that last time you were here and don't you want to do something different?"

God forbid.

My father said, in the lobby of the museum, "I am going to ask some people where there's a restaurant," just NOT UNDERSTANDING THE POINT OF NY!!! I swear. I was mortified. MORTIFIED.

"Please, Dad, DON'T."

Don't embarrass me. I don't want to be 13 again. I don't want someone to say "Sir, there are 5 million restaurants within a five minute walk from here. Just walk. Your daughter must be an idiot if she doesn't realize that."

I said "Here's what we will do - we are going to walk the length of Columbus Ave. from this stop to the next stop, and if we don't find a cool restaurant to eat at, we will go to Little Italy."

My father cannot handle spontaneity. My mother, on the other hand, when in New York becomes spontaneous and unafraid and marvelled by the world. She is amazing here. I love having her around.

We found a cool restaurant that wasn't approved of by my father, so he started asking people. Some guy on the street who my father determined was completely trustworthy recommended a place 5 blocks down. My father told me where it was, and I humored him and said we'd go, and all the way up he kept saying "Do you know where you're going?" Steaming. Steaming the whole way.

The place sucked, and we ended up at the original place, which was exquisite.

Heh.

On the way out of the subway station in Williamsburg my parents lagged behind. Sister and I walked on ahead, outside of the station, and then heard my mother calling after us "Wait..." "What?" "Wait..."

No idea.

So we walked back in, and turned out my father had found a Metro card on the subway and was testing it to see if there was any money left on it. He was standing in a sea of tossed Metro cards. I nearly cried. "Dad, there's NO MONEY on it. People just toss them!" but he insisted on checking them. When I told Boyfriend about this, he thought it was nice because he is nonjudgmental and gives people the benefit of the doubt and said "It's cute - your father was trying to find a Metro card for you!" and I was like "You must be on crack if you think he was going to give it to me. He was trying to find free rides for the next time he and my mother are here."

Again, mortified.

On Friday morning we tried to have comfort food again, but Anytime was still not open. We ended up at Relish. It was a Friday afternoon, and my father said "I want breakfast. Why don't they have breakfast? Where is the breakfast menu? I want a breakfast menu." He actually got up to demand a breakfast menu, but I talked him down by saying "Dad, it's LUNCH. It's not the weekend. There are eggs on this menu. That's the best you're going to do." "Well, they should have a breakfast menu." "No, because its lunch, and there are breakfast items on this menu."

The waitress came over and said "What can I get for you?" and my father said "Well, I'd like some breakfast and what are you going to do about it?"

She said "Sir, there are egg dishes on the menu" and my father sighed dramatically and ordered scrambled eggs.

Yes, yell at the waitress to get breakfast.

Yes.

Yes. This is how to treat people. This is how to get spit in your food.

I was so embarrassed. I seriously felt like a teenager, when you feel like your parents are designed exclusively to embarrass you and when you pretend like you don't know them. I kept thinking "I can never eat here again."

It was a nice visit, but overdosing on family can really mess you up. The stress level increases as you are made to feel more and more like a child by your parents, who are the only people who can do this to you.

The lovely thing, though, is that my mother made me feel like a grownup. It's the first time I've entertained my entire family - had them stay over, provided for them, etc. - and my mother was so proud. She always says how she misses having us little, playing with us, but how these times are just as valuable to her in a different way. I think its like that for all of us, and its nice to be able to take care of her and feed her and be an adult with her.

As stressful as it all was, I miss them already.

I hope we can do this every year.