Frogger

Well, not really. I just wanted to write "Frogger," because didn't that make you happy?

Why is it that when somebody offers to paint you a painting on a Friday, you say "I know just what I want it to be!" and then proceed to search the web and find 20,000 pictures of what it will be but fail to save the picture to your desktop because you think you'll find something better on Monday, and then, by Monday, all of the pictures you previously found have been removed from the web? Man. It will still be a good painting, though.

How nice to have a painting to look forward to!

The weekend was good. This is what happened:

1. Sex toy party in Park Slope neighborhood on Friday night. It was freezing out. The directions were given in girl-speak and involved getting out of the subway, looking at a hardware store and then making sure that it was behind you on the right. You were then to walk across a street, then walk down an unnamed street for 1 - 2 blocks until you saw a restaurant with a green awning that was diagonolly across from a barber shop in a through street. Awshummmm. Needless to say I got lost,very very lost. This was mainly because the green restaurant was about 7 blocks from the subway stop, so I walked in every possible direction for four blocks until I finally decided that the girl had no idea where she lived. Which actually ended up being the case, because she had never, in fact, walked the way she sent out in the directions. The party was... interesting. There were snooty student girls wearing black mini skirts and tall boots, who in response to the question "Where do you live?" chuckled snottily "On Manhattan," to which I had to say "WHERE?" which forced them to then admit what crappy neighborhood they lived. in The party itself was bizarre - we were encouraged to try and then buy a plethora of things I didn't know existed. They wanted us to try things that stimulated such things as blood flow, which seemed weird because if the cream that causes a rush of blood to and then stimulation of the clitoris does indeed work for you, what are you supposed to do for the remainder of the party? Just sit there? We put nipple cream on our lips. And edible whatever on our arms and then licked it off. I felt like we should all be best friends after that, but the girls were still snotty.

2. After the party we ventured out to the East Village. The girls warmed up a bit after we talked about hair for 20 minutes. Or maybe it was just the pheremones we'd applied at the party. We went to a cool indie rock place where I fit in better than I fit in at the sex toy party. L and I went for pizza in the middle of this and I had the most exquisite slice of pizza I've ever had - breaded eggplant with sauce, mozzarella, and HUGE chunks of ricotta with garlic in it. Delicious. Hmmmmmmm.

3. Met up with D afterwards - we were both drunk and spastic and said things too soon but I am thrilled. Giddy. Dare I say.... happy?

4. Spent Saturday still giddy and then went out with this guy D from Friendster, who will henceforth be called Friendster D. Friendster D wrote me well before Thanksgiving and we'd been trying since to get together. I kept being too busy, but now I have time because I am not going back to MA and nobody is visiting and I can start making NY friends. I think this was originally supposed to be a date, so I had to be like "Ummm... I am hoping you don't want this to be a date because now I have a... ummm... hard to say.... choke... blah... boyfriend." Heh. He wanted to get together anyway, and we had a lovely time, and I have a friend! He even brought me a present - we'd been writing about Jem and he brought me a pair of earrings that reminded him of the Holograms. See? There are nice people in NYC! Point of this is not that I have Jem-like earrings or that I have a friend, but that Friendster D is childhood friends of the creators of homestarrunner.com. Zowie!!! I called M right away. We are so very close to being friends with They Might Be Giants.

5. Saturday night was drawing Blade 3 stick figures. Aside from strangely accurate lips on Parker Posey, it is a disaster, but hopefully a readable and strangely charming disaster.

6. Sunday was groceries and laundry and Golden Globes and Natalie Portman winning and my being mortified by her win (she sucked in that movie) and her big head and her wearing a nightgown that reminded me of the creepy drummer daughter from the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players.

7. And then Sid and Buddy karaoke!!!! But again, no Buddy! Something is wrong. Very wrong. Instead of saying Sid and Buddy, the Lite-Brite sign on the stage said "Sid and YOU!" Best karaoke ever. Even better than last time, as there was a bigger crowd and therefore higher rockstar quotient. I sang Heaven by Warrant, which I must admit was one of my better and more inspired karaoke performances. The crowd was into it. Lighters. Thrashing of hair. Bench Buddy playing an inflatable guitar and doing backup. Yes. My second selection was Fuck and Run by Liz Phair, which was good but I couldn't sing it honestly because, darn it, I have all that stupid old shit like letters and sodas! I was thrilled to see that much of the hipster audience knew the words. I was slightly concerned that nobody would know the song. When I finished Sid said "And that was for all of you men-haters out there." Heh. I think I still hate all of them but one. Well, maybe two, because I don't hate Sid.

8. I was wearing rainbow socks at the bar. But they are weird rainbows - like they have all the colors but blue, which is weird. And the colors are all very luscious - like instead of yellow its more of a mustard. And instead of red its a deep pink. I don't know. You'd have to see them. Point being they are a weird rainbow. There was a dude there with a sweater that was exactly like my socks! I couldn't contain myself. All night I kept being like "R, it's so weird - that guy's sweater is just like my socks!" "No, I mean exactly like my socks!" "Like what are the odds that his sweater is the same exact bizarre rainbow as my socks?" "Why is that guy even wearing a rainbow sweater?" "I can't get over this!" Finally R was like "Would you just go TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT?" So I did, and he was just as excited as me. Heh.

9. When we left karaoke, it was snowing! My first snowfall in New York! It was 3 am and beautiful and I wanted more snow to make a snowman and push D into a snowbank and throw a snowball at him and then make snow angels. I couldn't stop smiling. I was yelling "My first snow!!! My first New York snow!!! And I'm with my first New York friend (L, my friend blind date from September) and my first New York boyfriend!" Bliss, folks, bliss. Long weekends are bliss.

10. Yesterday was supposed to be open mic and a movie, but instead it was lethargy because I slept for two hours the night before. Darn you rum and coke! Darn you karaoke high!!! Darn you cute boy!!!! It was a nap and then delirium, and instead of a movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (I still can't stop laughing at the moth / brownies clones) and Curb Your Enthusiasm in D's ice cold apartment where we ate ice cream anyway.

Long weekend, long post.

Hope it wasn't too incoherent. I need some sleep. I will get it tonight. YES!