It's so weird how once you've announced that you are leaving, people take a sudden interest in you. I want to say "I've seen you every day for the last two and a half years and you've said nothing to me, and now you want to know my life story?"
I shouldn't act jaded. I will miss these people.
I won't miss people saying "Oh, interesting... let's talk about D." I can't tell you how many people here who upon hearing that I am off to photography school say "D's artistic, right? He paints! And he's so musically talented! And he's so good at his job. He will be missed."
I won't miss being in a shadow. It's a weird feeling to experience as an adult.
Our exit interviews were scheduled together. Clearly we have nothing to say as independent entities. Although somehow I feel that people don't gush to him about me the way they gush to me about him. When I resigned, we spent no time talking about me and only talking about how multi-talented D is and how very smart he is (smarter than everyone!) and how he can succeed at anything and, again, such a loss for the company.
It's not his fault that he's The Golden Boy in every group. It's the group's fault for failing to recognize that The Golden Boy could, in fact, have good taste in who he chooses to spend his time with.
Moods are down now. The weather doesn't help, nor does The News. D still doesn't have a job, and I understand. I do. In spite of this understanding I can't help but be nervous about embarking on huge life changes when moods are down.
I'm bored at work. The Boss is getting married and doesn't see anything other than choosing a caterer and dealing with invitations as important. This is cute since he's a man, but I am only here for two more weeks and I have a sneaking suspicion that there are things that I should be doing.
I literally have nothing to do here tomorrow.
I am sick again. The stomach flu is back, if that's what it is. I didn't eat breakfast and I am not going to eat lunch because I have to give a presentation at 3 and would like not to have to run out in the middle of it to purge my lunch.
It is not a good time to get sick. I had to cancel a farewell dinner with LL last night because I didn't want to eat. Well, I wouldn't have minded eating but I was nervous about the 45 minute commute home from the restaurant. We've rescheduled for Sunday night, but shouldn't I be packing on Sunday night? I am supposed to eat with NR tonight and I guess if I am feeling bad I can hop in a cab and jump out again if need be. Awshummm.
I started packing last night. There are never going to be enough boxes.
I also just found out that we can move next Saturday, which gives me a week to sort through everything. This would totally feasible if I wasn't going out every night.
I'm surprisingly unstressed.
I cut off most of my hair.
I found two new amazing restaurants in my last month here. Tragic.
I can't wait to be equals.
Next Wednesday is a big day and I sort of forgot because there are other things going on, which sort of makes me no better than him.
I want a hot pink desk chair for my new apartment, where there might be possibly be a desk.
That is all.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
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