Don't Fear A Sandwich

Date: August-ish, 2006
Genre: Musical theater, as if there's anything else these days!




Description:

Readers of My Mundane Life In Song may remember the infamous Sandwich Swap, which was not attended by yours truly due to some skepticism/cynicism on the part of visitors I had the weekend on which it took place. The entry sparked a debate regarding whether the sandwich swap was a sketchy endeavor or not.

Because I still assert that the sandwich swap would have appealed to and therefore only have been attended by nice New Yorkers and not the evil ones, I wrote a song about how there are far worse things in the world than strangers making you sandwiches.

I started writing this at a time when I was watching a lot of musicals, so its straight out of the musical of my life (My Mundane Life In Song in full effect!), complete with chorus girls who are convinced to change their minds by the end of the song.

I also used the new keyboard and am getting used to the sounds, so I didn't make all the right choices but dear god I've been sitting on this song since August and its about time I posted it. I wrote it one day in August, recorded piano and vocals the following day, and then added strings and other weird songs last night during a burst of alone-induced-productivity. And I'm not working on it ever again, because I love this song enough to make it perfect, which will never happen. There is not time.

So... enjoy!

Lyrics:

I hate everyone
And I don't trust anyone
In the city, they're all out to get me

Any New Yorker in a car would run you over in the crosswalk
Even when the little blinking guy is telling you it's safe to walk across

Still I trust strangers bearing sandwiches
Try as hard as you might to convince me otherwise
That someone who respects the awesomest lunch food known to man
Could have evil motives
Not a sandwich lover!

Any waiter you tip could be spitting on your potatoes
And even Mr. Softee could be lying about the cost of your ice cream cone

Still I trust strangers bearing sandwiches
(She trusts strangers)
Try as hard as you might to convince me otherwise
(She can't be convinced)
That someone who respects the best thing that ever happened to bread
Could be capable of evil
(They're evil)

Nobody who knows about the sandwich swap in Park Slope is the type of person who would pee on lettuce
Hipsters prefer irony to the vulgar
The only risk I see is that nobody will trade their sandwich with me
Cuz I never liked Bloc Party
(Overrated)

Every time you use your credit card identity theft might not be far off
And when you're on the subway people won't hesitate to run down the pregnant lady to steal her seat

Wallets are stolen
The cabbies drive too fast
People are groped
And the dry cleaner's a bastard
The airlines are assholes
This whole country is fucked
I saw a crazy man taking a dump on my street
Everything's scary
And really messed up
So I'll take my chances, I'll press my luck
With a sandwich
A nice stranger's making me a sandwich
Don't fear the sandwich
Don't fear a sandwich

I trust strangers bearing sandwiches
(We trust strangers)
Try as hard as you might to convince us otherwise
That someone who respects the awesomest lunch food known to man could have evil motives
No, not a sandwich lover!

Trust strangers bearing sandwiches
Trust strangers bearing sandwiches
Trust strangers bearing sandwiches